Bound 2
by breakingbeckett
Summary: Kate Beckett, a pre-law college student and part time model is hired to start dating Rick Castle for publicity reasons. When they actually meet they hit it off immediately, and what started as a business deal for Kate quickly turns into something different for the both of them.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

**So this story takes place during Kate's freshman year of college. Castle has had a few best sellers. Alexis is 4.**

CHAPTER ONE

Kate Beckett"

Kate threw her head up and looked to the front of her class where her professor stood waiting. She noticed that all the other students had already filed out and she was the only one there.

"Professor White, I know I haven't been the easiest student this semester but I just want to thank you for being so patient and understanding."

He nodded, he wasn't much of a talker which she found a little weird since his job was to stand at the front of a classroom and lecture in front of hundreds of students. Kate handed him her test and smiled at him. "Again, thank you."

Her first semester of school was done and the holidays were here. She couldn't wait to see her family and spend time with her friends. Finals had almost killed her. She was one panic attack away from dropping out and joining the circus. The wind almost blew her over as she descended the stairs to the sidewalk. She reached down to grab her gloves out of her purse and paying little attention to her surroundings walked right into a woman. Kate looked up and immediately the woman gave her a 10-watt smile and quickly extended her arm and eagerly offered her hand to Kate.

"My names Gina, you're agent actually sent me on a wild goose chase to find you. They wouldn't give me any direct contact information so I kind of had to stalk you to find you."

"Why were you looking for me?" Kate said pointing to her chest. "

"Well, your agent told me about you. He said he had been trying to contact you but you hadn't been responding!"

"Walk with me" Kate said as she tapped Gina's arm. "Sorry I've been really busy with finals, just took my last one." Kate felt the pressure leave her body as soon as she verbalized that she was in fact done for the semester.

"Well, that must be a relief. I don't think I know any other models who are also working on a college education. You must be amazingly smart and organized to have enough time and energy to do both." Gina looked admiringly at Kate. "No, it's been horrible, I just know that my parents will kill me if I don't go to school. No matter how much success I have with my modeling they are pretty good at ignoring it and instead putting more pressure on me about school."

"Well Kate, I am here for business and since you are now on break from school I think it's only right that we leave school behind us. So I'm gonna just put it all out there for you and we can go from there. I work for a publishing company, Black Pawn, and we have an author that is going through some personal struggles and hasn't been dating. He has a book launch coming up at the end of January and we were kind of hoping to set him up so that he could kind of make a presence in the press at that time. What better way to do that than to have an up and coming model on his arm!" Gina looked over and Kate but she was focused straight ahead. Continuing to walk at a very fast pace or maybe it was the length of her legs Kate looked over at Gina. "So basically you're hiring me to be his arm candy?" Kate rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at Gina but Gina didn't flinch.

"Look, Kate. I know it sounds like I'm paying you to basically seduce this man but that's not the whole story. See Richard, he is known as a playboy of sorts but he is tired of the persona and has vowed to be single for a year. The only downfall being that his book comes out in a little over a month and the press love his playboy ways. I'm not trying to control his whole life and I respect that he doesn't want to be a playboy. However, I do need to give the press something to talk about, and that's where you come in."

"Should I be flattered or insulted?" Kate's face broke a smile and she giggled a little. "Look I'm a hard worker but I'm not a whore. I don't want this relationship to be physical at all if I accept this offer."

"That's absolutely fine, I am in no way asking you to sleep with him. It's actually my preference that you don't. Selfish reasons really." Gina's mood shifted a little and Kate could tell that she was uncomfortable. Couldn't tell what exactly was making her that way but surely it wasn't any of Kate's business anyway.

"Kate, what I really want you to do is just let the man take you out on a few very public dates, make him lust for you, which shouldn't be hard, and knowing him he will invite you to the launch party in no time. I know him and I know that there is no way he will want to show up alone to this release party!"

"Okay well I have to go, meeting a friend for lunch. This sounds like something I can definitely do. Contact my agent and we can set something up." Kate extended her hand to Gina. "It was nice to meet you and I'm sure we will see more of each other soon.

Gina watched as Kate hailed a cab and slid in. She couldn't help but think about how Rick would immediately find this girl attractive. She was tall, slim, big beautiful eyes and long wavy hair. She looked like a model, but Gina could also see the intellect that was there. Kate wasn't a bimbo, which Gina didn't know if she loved about her or if it would make things harder for her. She knew that her short lived fling with Rick was over and had been for months but she couldn't help but get a little jealous over the women he brought around. This one she had hand picked herself so she felt a sense of responsibility. That's the real reason she chose Kate. Sure she was beautiful but when Kate's agent mentioned that she hadn't returned his phone calls because her school schedule was so packed, Gina knew she was the one. Rick was done with the bimbos and barbies. He was only 26 but Gina knew that he wanted more with his life. So she took it upon herself to find Rick some temporary arm candy. No harm in that right? Rick would be pleased with her find, well hopefully he would never know she was behind it.

"Sorry, I know I'm late."

Kate pulled her jacket down off her arms and threw it into the booth and slid in.

"No worries babe, how was your final?"

Josh extended his hands over the table seeking hers out. With a bit of hesitancy Kate accepted his offer and laid her hands into his.

"Josh have you been home in the last week? I mean we aren't even together anymore and I can't get you to leave my apartment. I love you and all but you need to spread your wings a little and maybe go out with your friends or get a job!" Kate wasn't trying to be pushy or rude and she loved Josh, she really did.

"Wow, you just sat down and you're already starting in on me. Yes Kate, I have been home in the last week but I prefer your place over mine. Mostly because you're there."

Josh ignored her frustration and quickly got up and slid into her side of the booth pressing a kiss against her lips. She pulled away visibly annoyed with him.

"Babe what's been up with you lately?" Josh wasn't an idiot. He knew things were tense between them.

"What's wrong? Well, where should I start. First of all you don't ever leave my apartment. If I wanted to live with you then I would have gotten a place with you when you asked me to. I like my personal space to be just that. MY personal space." Kate's body temperature was on the rise and she tried to take a few deep breathes but she could tell that this wasn't ending now. "You know Josh, I broke up with you over two weeks ago and you still won't leave. I love you, I do, and I want you to be happy. But this... THIS..." She pointed back and forth between her and Josh "it's not working for me." She felt a tear escape her eye. Why was she getting emotional? This was something that she was very decided about. She had been ready to move on from this relationship for a while.

"Kate if you're serious and you want us to be over for good then I'll accept it. I will. I'll move on. But if you want this then we are done. No going back. I'm going to have to completely separate myself from you. No contact. I can't be around you and not be with you. You're all I've ever known." His feelings were clear and she could tell he wasn't suggesting totally and completely cutting off contact between them. He was demanding it.

"Josh, I just can't do it anymore." Now she was half speaking, half sobbing. "I think we both care about each other but I think that it's time to go our separate ways." Kate's sobs were slowing and she lifted her head to look at him. As soon as their eyes met she could see the heartbreak in his.

"I don't accept it but I'm going to go ahead and go. You can pack my things up or I'll come do it one day when you'll be out for a while. Whichever you prefer." Josh stood pulling his jacket up over his arms. He leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead.

Kate grabbed his hand as he went to turn away; she softly placed a kiss on his knuckles. "I am so sorry Josh, I love you, but I just know in my heart that this isn't what I want anymore."

He jerked his hand away from her and she could see the tension in his face. "Kate, don't act like you give a shit about me. This is all about you and always has been. You're selfish in and out of this relationship. I don't know why I stayed with you and I don't know how I ever loved you. If this is all we meant. You, breaking up with me in the diner that we had our first date in 3 years ago. Classy, Kate."

Josh turned and quickly fled the diner. As soon as the door shut Kate felt relief, sadness, what was it? The tears weren't present but she was surprisingly relieved and surprisingly very sad. She was sure that when this time came that it would be hard. It was hard but she also knew that this is exactly what she needed.

**Can I start by saying I have never written any fanfic before. This is a first attempt. I'm always coming up with great story ideas but I am not much of a writer so they don't go anywhere. I just thought I'd give it a shot and what better way to practice than to just sit down and write. I do have this mapped out a little so we will see where it goes. Please review with any comments. I am not easily offended and will take any criticism, preferably constructive because I am trying to get better. Also give me some chapter ideas if there is anything you want to see. I guess I should see if there is any response to the first chapter before I start to think about continuing on. **


	2. Chapter 2

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 2

Kate quickly gathered her things and walked out of the diner. With her phone clutched in her hand she decided she might as well return her agents many missed phone calls. Deciding against a cab, she really could use the fresh air and her apartment was just a few blocks away. She dialed her number and was quickly greeted with Myra's sharp tone and a hint of attitude.

"Kate Beckett, we have been through this! You can't just ignore me and expect me to work my ass of for you."

Kate apologized promising to be better about returning her phone calls. She told Myra about her run in with Gina and let her know that she was actually really interested in Gina's offer.

"Kate, I agree I think this would be perfect for you. He's pretty well known and that can only help with your career. No press is bad press and I have a feeling the two of you will steal quite a few headlines. He's a little wild though, just a warning."

"I think I can handle it and I think it might be fun to be a little wild. Josh and I broke up."

Kate knew that Myra was never a fan of Josh's, and by the silence on the other end of the phone Kate knew that Myra didn't know what to say. Internally she must be jumping for joy, but she wouldn't dare make Kate aware of it. I mean Josh had attacked her personally a few times over jobs that Kate had gotten that he didn't really approve of. He wasn't a fan of some of the more racy jobs Kate had landed. He was a bit of the jealous type and that had caused a lot of arguments between the two. The job really had forced them apart. Kate enjoyed the job and it was something that she had always wanted to do. Josh on the other hand never really could quite get use to it. He was still stuck in the mentality of a high school boy fighting for the attention of his girlfriend. What he failed to realize in all his jealous haze was that he had already won the girl, and all he was doing was pushing her away.

"I'm sorry to hear about that. If there's anything I can…"

Kate interrupted..

"Yeah, yeah, I know your opinion on Josh. He was my high school sweetheart and I love him, but my wants and needs just don't match his and it was really wearing on our relationship."

"Well that will also make this job a little easier for you then."

Approaching her building Kate realized that the conversation between the two had already become one sided. Kate was a professional at zoning out when Myra went on her rants.

"Listen, Myra I've gotta go but I'll be expecting a call tomorrow about the details, and I promise to answer!"

"Okay, I'll ring you in the morning and set up a meeting."

As Kate entered her apartment she felt her chest tighten a bit. She couldn't help but notice Josh's belongings scattered throughout. Three years, three whole years together. Her mind started racing playing out scenarios in her head. Maybe she had made the wrong decision. Ending things with him, maybe he was the one. Maybe she was just going through a phase. Maybe it was just the stress of her first semester of college coming to an end and finals.

The anxiety was becoming a bit too much. She needed to get out of the house. She pulled on her jacket and out the door she flew. Looking for a bit of fresh air and maybe a good cup of coffee. There was a book store down the street that had a small cafe connected to it. Kate decided that if she was going to be pursuing Richard Castle she might as well read a book of his. She had always loved literature anyways. Were his books even considered real literature?

After ordering her coffee she plopped down in a lounge chair with her coffee and a copy of Richard Castles "Flowers for your Grave"

She looked down at her phone when she heard it buzzing in her purse. Wow! 8:44 already! She closed the book and realized she had already flown through half of the book. She slid the book into her purse and pulled her phone out. A text from Myra came up on her screen.

_Kate, sorry it's such late notice but Richard Castle is attending a charity luncheon tomorrow. I think this will serve as a great opportunity for you all to meet. It starts at 11:30 am. Wear something tight and short. _

After throwing her hair up and washing her face Kate sat in her bed dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas pants and a white camisole shirt. She couldn't put this book down. She had already finished more than half the book so she decided that she might as well finish it before she went to bed. And she did. She stayed up until almost 5 am reading it. When it came to the end she was so disappointed. Not by the story, that was amazing, but because it was over. She would have to start reading all of his books, she was becoming an actual fan. Maybe this would work out for the best. She might be able to swing a few freebies so she wouldn't have to buy all the books.

It was 4:47 when she closed the book and sat it on her night stand. When she reached for her phone she saw that she had received a text. She hadn't heard her phone go off because she was so focused on the book. It was from Josh. She almost deleted it without reading it. Knowing that he was probably going to be asking for forgiveness and another chance, but she was wrong.

_Kate, I will always love you. Maybe this break from each other will be temporary, although much needed. -JD_

What did that even mean? Yeah the break was much needed, and as far as she was concerned it was final. Turning out her bedside lamp she closed her eyes and fell into a peaceful slumber. Knowing she would only get a few hours of sleep before having to get up and get ready for the luncheon.

Kate's hand unconsciously picked up her phone and turned off the alarm. Was it already 9:30? She knew she didn't really have any spare time so she sat up and threw her legs over the side of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and stumbled to her bathroom to shower.

After an hour of primping her hair was put up into a messy yet sophisticated bun and her makeup was painted on. Now if she could just decide on something to wear. Myra of course wanted her to wear a short, tight, skimpy dress but this was a luncheon not a club on a Friday night. Oh and not to forget that it was mid December. Who wears short dresses to lunch in the middle of a New York winter? Kate opted for a tight pair of black skinny slacks that she could tuck into her stiletto boots and a white button up blouse with a black blazer. Sure she looked more like a lawyer than a model but wasn't that the point. Kate wasn't too fond of the whole New York model look. She was pre-law so she might as well dress the part. She also didn't want to look like she was desperate for attention. Subtlety…. was more Kate's motto.

After looking herself over in the mirror for was felt like the hundredth time, Kate decided that she was satisfied and pulled her favorite pea coat from her closet. Throwing it on, and wrapping a scarf around her neck, she grabbed her purse and out the door she went. She decided that she had plenty of time to stop at the corner coffee shop for a to go cup before she hailed a taxi. Knowing she couldn't really function without at least one cup.

When she arrived at the hotel where the luncheon was being held she noticed that there were already quite a few people there. Mostly the mature business types, ones that she knew would probably be the big donors. Not many people her age, which she was fine with. As she entered the great hall where everyone was mingling she immediately made eye contact with Gina who rushed over in her direction.

"Kate, I'm so glad you could make it!"

"I mean it was my job to show up, right?"

Gina nervously looked into Kate's eyes and Kate could see that Gina was a little weary. A smile broke across Kate's face and she threw her hand up to Gina's shoulder.

"Look, Gina, I'm only kidding. I'm here to have a great time and I know what you're asking of me. You have absolutely no worries."

The relief spread across her face. "Good, because he has been a complete ass today. I really think he just needs someone to pay attention to him. So basically when you do talk to him make sure to talk about him, you know, stroke his ego a little bit."

Kate rolled her eyes, letting out a small giggle. "I think I can manage!"

Before the lunch started Kate decided she better use the restroom so she left the great hall to find the nearest one. As she rounded the corner she saw a little red headed girl, around the age of 4 spinning in circles and humming a song. Before Kate could avoid running into her the little girl knocked into her knees and felt straight down on her bottom. Kate caught her balance and immediately bent down to help the little girl up.

"ALEXIS!"

The little girls eyes shot up to a tall, dark headed, very well built, handsome man in a suit and tie. It was him, this was the guy she was here for. Kate knowingly placed a smile on her face and gently held out her hands for the little girl to grab, pulling her up to her feet.

He was walking towards them at a fast pace like he was anxious or nervous. She greeted him with a smile and his face suddenly relaxed.

"I am so sorry ma'am, she had a little too much sugar for breakfast."

"No harm done here, she was just practicing those dance moves." Kate gave the little girl a wink and a nod.

"Yeah daddy! I was practicing my dance moves." She said with a little wiggle of her tail.

Rick picked up the girl and swung her over his hip nuzzling his face into the side of her head and kissing her cheek.

"Next time be more careful baby." He said as he placed her back on the ground and she ran off towards another woman waiting to the side.

"Again I am so sorry, what did you say your name was?" He said throwing his hand out towards her.

She placed hers in his and gave him a light shake. "I didn't say, but it's Katherine, Kate, actually."

"Well Kate, sorry again. Are you here for the luncheon?"

His eyes were beautiful and they were set on her. She could tell that there was an immediate connection and she was pretty sure that he was also aware of it. His eyes were so focused on hers that she almost didn't know where to look. So she looked straight into his and even though she was a little nervous she didn't show it.

"Yes, the luncheon, that's what I'm here for."

"Alone?"

She giggled aloud.

"Yes, alone..."

"Well we have an extra seat at our table, I was suppose to bring a date but I didn't, and you'd actually be doing me a favor. Maybe my publisher wont be too hard on me if I show up with you by my side."

"One condition." He said as she looked back up at him. "No talking about business or about me. God, can we please not talk about me!" She laughed and nodded.

"I'm not too interested in anything you have to say anyway!" She said with a wink. He knew she was being a smart ass and he let out quite a chuckle.

The entered the hall and he led her straight to his table. This whole thing had actually been a lot easier than expected. She made eye contact and gave Gina a hello nod as she sat down next to Rick at the table.

"Gina, look I brought a date. Her name is Kate."

Kate's eyes shot up towards him and he let out a laugh. She could tell that he was just trying to get under Gina's skin, which he was appearing to be really good at. Gina rolled her eyes at him and turned away.

"I think she is a bit annoyed with me. She always wants so much from me and I think she forgets that I have a semi normal life, and a four year old. I don't have time to date with all of her deadlines, much less a child." he said in a mocking tone. He was clearly a bit annoyed with Gina's intrusions in his life

Kate couldn't decide what was making him so open to her but he was acting like he had known her for a while. Like they hadn't just met.

"I can't even imagine what hell dating must be like for you anyway, right." rolling of her eyes. "I mean I see you in the papers, young, hot celebrities on your arm at every event. Dating must be so hard for a young, rich, handsome millionaire." Kate was throwing her hands around being as dramatic as possible.

"You know, I like you. Not intimidated by me. This is rare." She thought he was replying in a joking manner but his face was straight and she could tell that he appreciated her humility.

"Yeah, I get a vibe now that you aren't really what I've seen plastered all over page six either. Not that I pay much attention to that garbage anyway."

This was true. Kate stayed away from celebrity gossip. She might be a model, but she was still not well known and she liked it that way. She got to do something she enjoyed and it didn't control her life.

"So what do you do for a living Kate?"

"I am actually pre-law at NYU and I do a little modeling on the side for extra cash."

"THAT'S WHERE I KNOW YOU FROM."

Her eyes widened and she didn't know what was coming next. Was he going to know she was hired to befriend him.

"You're on that hair infomercial aren't you?"

Relief crept over her face and an annoyed smile replaced the fear.

"Yeah that was me, but keep it down I don't want people knowing how famous I am." She said with a small wink.

He placed his hand on her knee and made a single small circular motion.

"Your secret is safe with me." He whispered so only she could hear and gave her a wink back.

By the time the luncheon was over Rick hadn't mingled much with anyone. He spent most of his time focused on Kate. It was weird because Kate didn't really feel like this would be much of a job for her. She had taken a genuine interest in him. I mean he was smart, kind, charming, and tall. How could she forget he was tall. By the end of the luncheon Kate had made up her mind that she was going to be the one to show extra interest in him and ask for his number. She knew that he was definitely in to her. So why not take control.

"Soooo. Rick, I was wondering if maybe we could exchange numbers." Kate gave him a shy smile as she poked around at the food on her plate.

"Ohhhhhh." Rick said a little nervously. And Kate's eyes shot up. Had she overstepped already?

He laughed and threw his hand over his mouth. "I'm only kidding, I would love to exchange numbers. I mean If you hadn't asked I was definitely going to get yours and if you weren't giving it to me I was going to track you down somehow so this makes things easier." ... "and less awkward" he said under his breath.

Kate couldn't control the laughter. That was something he was good at. Making her laugh.

"Well then I'll give you my number Rick, and you can do with it as you please." Kate took out a pen from her purse and on the paper napkin she wrote her name and number. She folded the napkin up, grabbed his hand and placed it in his palm.

"I'm gonna get going. I told my mother I would come by today to help her with a few work things. She's a lawyer. Always on a mission." Kate let out an annoyed breath.

"Well Kate, it was a pleasure." He said as he stood with her. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek. A small blush spread across her face and neck but she did her best to hide it. He smelled so wonderful. She didn't think she would be able to get that smell out of her head.

"Hopefully I'll be hearing from you soon." She said with a shrug of her shoulders and a sly smile. She patted his shoulder and walked away.

He quickly turned his whole body so he could watch her exit the room, and it was grand, to him. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He reached into his pocket pulling out his phone and sent her a text.

_Is it too soon to ask you on a second date? ;) – Castle_

**Okay, well that's two chapters today. I am actually a little overwhelmed by the follows already on this story. Thanks to everyone!**

**Oh and reviews would be amazing. Don't be afraid to criticize as long as its good natured. No hateful comments please. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 3

As Kate walked through the front door of her parent's apartment the smell of fresh apple pie hit her in the face. It was her favorite, but her mother rarely baked anymore. She was far too busy with work.

"Katie, that you?" her mother yelled from the kitchen.

Kate walked around the corner to see her dad sitting in his chair reading the paper and her mom franticly running around the kitchen.

"What's going on mom? Why are you in such a panic?" Kate laughed. She hadn't seen her mom act this way in years.

"I'm baking a few apple pies to take down to the homeless shelter in Washington Heights." She said as she pulled a fourth apple pie out of the oven.

"Wow mom, Is this the first time or have you been doing this for a while." She asked.

"Well I've been working on a 'Take Back the Neighborhood' project in Washington Heights and I just thought I would contribute a little.

Kate and her parents had always been close, and since moving out after high school their relationship had only strengthened. They were finally getting use to Kate being independent, and living on her own. Something both of her parents had fought her on when she first told them that she was moving out. They eventually gave up and told her they would help her out as much as possible as long as Josh wasn't living with her. Her parents had become pretty close with Josh over the years. When they first started dating her parents were just glad that he didn't have any tattoo's. All of Kate's boyfriends before Josh were a little to 'edgy' for her parents liking. Josh was a breath of fresh air. He was a smart, tall, handsome boy from a great family who was going to college to be a doctor. Kate knew that her parents would be a little upset about the break-up but it wasn't their decision.

"Mom, Dad, there's something I should probably tell you before you find out from someone else." she said, her eyes focusing on her feet again. This was something she was notorious for doing when she was sharing disappointing news.

"Baby, please, please don't tell me you're pregnant…" Johanna approached Kate resting her hands on her shoulders.

"WHAT! MOM, NO!" Kate's eyes shot up to her mothers already filling with tears.

"Oh, thank the heavens above." Jim threw in from his chair. He hadn't even stopped reading the paper.

"Not that we wouldn't support you and Josh and this baby…" Johanna couldn't even finish her sentence before Kate jumped in.

"Mom, there is no baby, what are you talking about? It does have to do with Josh though. We broke up, and this time it's for good. I just couldn't handle all the jealousy and we fought every time we saw each other." You could hear the self-doubt about her decision in her voice.

"Oh Katie.." her mom said pulling her into a tight hug. "Maybe its for the best, maybe the two of you need a break. I know school has really been stressing you out."

"No, it's not school mom. It's him. He is always at my apartment; I mean I couldn't get him to go home. You know how private I am, and I felt like I couldn't even go to the restroom without him barging in. I tried talking to him about it, and he never did anything to change it. I think that he thought I was going to leave him any second, and his constant worrying was driving me insane. I love him so much, but I absolutely can not stand a jealous, overbearing man." The anger and frustration she was feeling clearly showing in her voice.

"Yeah, you just got rid of one of those when you moved out of here." Her mother joked as she pulled Kate to the kitchen table.

"Hey, I heard that." Jim chimed in from his chair, still reading the paper.

Giggles emerged from Kate, and a little relief. Her parents were nowhere near as upset as she first believed they might be. Maybe it was because they thought it would be temporary. Maybe they were just trying to stay uninvolved and let her grow up. Which she appreciated.

"Dad, you might be overbearing, but you're the best kind of overbearing." Jim looked up and at Kate and gave her a wink.

"So, now that I have that out of the way. Mom, I started reading this book last night. It was a crime novel by Richard Castle, 'Flowers for Your Grave', I know you read a lot of crime novels, have you heard of him?" Kate thought that easing her parents into the idea of her with an older man might be easier if she boasted about him a little first. Sure she didn't know where any of this would end up going, but she knew that the chances of them making the paper were pretty good so she might as well prepare them.

"Katie, Richard Castle is my favorite author. How do you not know this already? I have all of his books in the study."

"Wow, I guess I hadn't paid much attention. Well I actually ran into him today at a luncheon. Well I ran into his daughter, and then he came over after to apologize. He is very handsome." Katie smirked with a little blush forming on her cheeks.

"I guess I hadn't noticed." Her mother shrugged with a smile on her face. "Want some dinner, we have leftovers?"

"Actually I'd love some." Kate pulled her purse onto the table, pulling her phone from the pocket on the inside. She had a text from an unknown number.

_Is it too soon to ask you on a second date? ;) – Castle_

The blush that had begun to form on her cheeks before was now growing and it didn't go unnoticed by her mother. Her mom placed a plate in front of her and sat down across from her. Kate dropped the phone to the table without responding. She would have to think of something cheesy but cute to respond with.

"So when exactly did you and Josh break up?" her mom asked knowingly.

"Well about two weeks ago I told him how unhappy I was and that I didn't think it was working out. He wasn't what I would call accepting of the idea of us splitting up. In fact, he basically refused to acknowledge the problem at all. So yesterday I met him for lunch after my final and told him that I was done, for good." Kate shoved another into her mouth and brought her eyes up to meet her mothers nodding head.

"What?" she said.

"Oh nothing, I just couldn't help but notice the blushing when you received a text. Thought maybe there might be someone new already?" Johanna's eyes grew a little bit. She was definitely insinuating something but Kate was unsure of how to approach the situation.

"Maybe there is someone new, but I wasn't seeing him behind Josh's back or anything. You raised me better than that."

"I wasn't implying that you were seeing anyone behind his back. Just a bit curious as to who might be making my daughter blush the day after she broke up with her longtime boyfriend. Someone she claimed to be absolutely in love with just months ago."

"Mom, I know you're concerned about me. You always are, but I'm nineteen and I am living on my own. Paying my own bills. Going to school. I am totally aware of how fast my feelings towards Josh changed. But you weren't there in the end. He's different now. He wasn't the same loving, caring, doting boyfriend that he was in high school. He had become insecure, and jealous, and it was starting to show in me. I have enough stress to deal with. School kicked my ass this semester, not to mention all the modeling jobs I've been booking. I just felt like I couldn't keep up."

"Well do you think maybe this modeling career you've been so focused on might have put a little stress on your relationship? A relationship that use to mean everything to you?" Johanna gave a stern look to Kate. The look the Kate hated seeing from her mom.

"I'm sure it was the cause of some of the stress, but the way I see it, if he couldn't support my dreams then he wasn't supporting me."

"I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't give up on him so easily. I'm sure he needs time to adjust to the changes you've made in your life."

Kate glared at her mother but ignored her comment. She wasn't going to argue with her over something that they both had very different opinions on. The truth is, her mom didn't know how emotionally abusive her relationship with Josh had become. She had never been there to witness his verbal attacks about her body and how she was over sexualizing herself for modeling jobs. None of them understood that modeling was her passion. Something that she loved to do, and one of the only things that she felt like she was exceptional at. In middle school she was tall and lanky and somewhat of an outcast but as soon as she hit high school and grew boobs, she gained the attention of every boy with a pulse.

"Mom, I wont say never, but I just don't think he and I were meant to be forever. I just don't want to waste my youth with someone who doesn't love and support everything about me." Kate felt her chest tighten a little bit at the thought of never being with Josh again, but she knew that she would find someone else.

She pulled her phone off the table and decided to text Rick back, or did he like to be called Castle? He had signed his text with just his last name so maybe she should address him as that.

_Is tomorrow too soon to want to see you again? –Beckett ;)_

She stared at the text for a minute before hitting send and before she could even lay her phone back on the table she felt it vibrate.

_Took you long enough to respond. I was sweating over here waiting on a response. Tomorrow can't come soon enough. I have meetings in the morning with my publisher but I'm free for lunch._

A smile was plastered on her face as she looked up at her mom and rolled her eyes. She shoved the phone back into her purse for the time being and went to clear her plate and put it in the dishwasher.

"Thanks for dinner mom, but I really should get going." She walked back towards her mother bent down and have her a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you baby girl. Promise you'll come by more now that you're on winter break. I miss seeing you every day and putting my nose in all the business you want to keep me out of." Her mother gave her a kiss back on the cheek and swatted her butt.

"I love you mom, even when you pry." Kate walked over to her dad in his chair bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheeks. "You too, pops!"

"Love you, Katie bug." Jim looked up from his paper and gave her a grand smile.

"Oh Katie, let me grab a few of those Richard Castle books for you." Her mother got up from the table and walked into the study. When she returned she had four books with her and handed them to Kate as she was walking out the door. "Keep them as long as you need, but please don't lose them. You know how I am about my books."

"No worries, mom. I'll take care of them and probably have them all back to you by the end of the week if I read them at the rate that I did the first one. Bye, you all!" Kate yelled back into the apartment as she pulled the door shut behind her.

As soon as Kate left her parents building she pulled her phone back out. Typing up a text for Rick, or Castle, whatever.

_Lunch sounds great. Name a time and place. I'm free all day tomorrow._

As soon as Kate got back to her apartment she slipped out of her clothes and ran a hot bath. She had grown to love baths since moving in on her own. Her apartment didn't have a shower so she had to get use to it anyway. It had become on of her favorite things to do after a long day. So she sat in her bath with a copy of Castles 'In a Hail of Bullets' feverishly reading through it. After a while she heard her phone vibrate ans she reached out of the bath to grab it.

_You're free all day? Are you implying that you'd like to go on an all day date with me Miss Beckett? If so, meet me at Café on Broadway at 11:30 tomorrow. _

_I don't know about an all day date Mr. Castle. Lets start with lunch and see where things go from there? I'll meet you at the Café at 11:30. Don't be late. _

_Was the man crazy, asking her on an all day date. She knew she couldn't commit a whole day to him so she would have to find an excuse to cut out early. _Her phone buzzed again and she opened the text and an immediate smile was brought to her face.

_I can't wait. See you at 11:30 on the dot. _

**I have been seriously speed writing this story because even I am excited to see how I am going to write it. I love each and every one of you who take the time to leave nice reviews. I really appreciate the support that I've received from a few people. I was so scared to even post the first chapter because I have literally never written a word before this. Reviews keep me motivated. Even if you just write one word. So that I know that people are still reading and enjoying!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 4

As Kate walked through the café door her eyes began to search the room. She saw him standing with his back towards her. He was talking to a blonde woman who was clearly flirting with him. After a moment the woman shook his hand and went back to sit at a table with two other women. They were all probably in their mid thirties so she knew that none of them posed any sort of threat. Castle turned around and they made eye contact. As he walked towards her she felt her chest tighten a bit and when he got within arms reach he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank goodness you are finally here, I didn't think you were gonna show. And do you know what its like for cougars to attack in a café? Its horrible, Kate, horrible."

That quickly drew a laugh from Kate and he grabbed her hand and led her to a table in the back corner. As they passed the table of women that Kate had seen earlier they all glared at her and she threw a smile back at them. As Rick pulled out her seat and she sat down the women started to whisper quietly while still sneaking glances of the two of them.

"Do women always act territorial over you or just those wolves back there?'

"It happens a lot, you'll get use to it."

"Oh, will I Mr. Castle? You're assuming we'll be seeing each other again. What if this date goes horribly wrong?" Kate said leaning forward and placing her elbows on the table.

"Horribly wrong? Kate Beckett, with the plans I have there is no way this could go horribly wrong." He said with just enough certainty that it was charming and not cocky at all.

His attitude towards her was refreshing. He was light, and funny, and a bit of a goof. It was refreshing, especially after the last few months with Josh. Their relationship had become so heavy that she felt like she couldn't breathe at times and it was definitely taking a toll on her attitude towards other people. She knew that she hadn't been the most pleasant person to be around the last few months. Truth be told, she had been a miserable person. Most of her friends had even begun to notice and had not been making any effort to be around her as of lately, and she was starting to really take notice. She knew that Josh was the main cause of her unhappiness and that's why she had made the decision to break up with him.

"Well my hopes are that it goes perfectly well. It's refreshing to have someone so light and positive around who makes me smile more than I have in a year." Kate felt a shyness creep over her and she wasn't sure where it was coming from. She had never been one to be intimidated by anyone, much less a man she just met.

A smile broke upon Castles face and their eyes met, not breaking eye contact until the waitress approached. After they both placed their drink orders and decided on food. Kate went with the club sandwich and Castle chose a garlic pasta dish. They chatted a bit over lunch about Kate's college classes and she told him that law wasn't really her passion but more of her mothers. She just felt like school wasn't something that she was meant for. She had loved modeling and her career had been going pretty well. She was staying pretty busy with jobs and making a really good living.

"I would have never pegged you as a model to be honest. Sure you're tall, slim, and beautiful. I just see more substance." Castle regret the words as soon as they left his mouth.

"So you're saying models cant have substance? Did you miss the part where I'm pre-law? Modeling is my passion, but I have an actual brain." Kates attitude was clearly beginning to show. She had to draw back a little and take a deep breath.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I think you're beautiful and smart and all I meant was that you surprised me, in a great way. I would never put you down in any way, not intentionally anyway." Rick was in a panic to make sure that he hadn't already screwed this up for himself.

"Truth is Kate, I am great with words and putting them on paper but in person it's a bit different. Plus you make me nervous." He said the last part under his breath and let out a nervous laugh.

"Nervous?" Kate pushed her hand over his on the table and rubbed circles over it. "There is absolutely no reason to be nervous around me. You're the famous one, not me. I'm just a college student and a part time model." She was trying to ease his mind and it was working.

"Is it weird for me to tell you that this is the most comfortable I've been with anyone in years and we just met."

"Is it weird for me to agree? I don't want to bring up the past or anything but I just got out of a long term relationship and I don't know that I ever felt this comfortable with him. Definitely not in the last year anyway."

"Well this is just me assuming but would you like to take this date on to the next phase?"

"Castle, we just met! I am not that kind of girl…." Kate knew what he meant but she decided to play with him a little bit.

"Oh, no, I would never…." Ricks face broke when Kate started laughing uncontrollably.

"Sooo not funny Miss Beckett.."

"Stop being so gullible Mr. Castle."

After covering the check Castle pulled his jacket over his arms and stuck his arm out for Kate to grab. When they walked out of the Café there was a black town car waiting for them. Castle addressed the driver as if they were best friends and introduced him to Kate. His name was Louis and apparently he had been Castles driver for a while now.

First stop was central park where they both slid on a pair of ice skates and hit the ice. Castle had no clue that Kate would be such a great skater. While she was skating circles around him he wasn't shy about vocalizing how he had chosen this as a stop on their date in hopes that she would need a little help and balance. Turns out she was the one that had to help him out when he wiped out once or twice.

After the two were worn out they slipped back into their own shoes and walked over to a street vender for a cup of coffee and sat down on a nearby bench. Neither of them were shy about sitting near each other, Castle even threw his arm around her shoulders. Kate pulled her phone out of her purse and saw that she had a text from Josh. She opened the text and read it. Rolling her eyes she shoved her phone back in her purse.

"Ouch, what did they say to get an eye roll that harsh?" Castle couldn't help but be a little nosy.

"My ex-boyfriend. He wont give up." Kate tried to play it off so that Castle would drop it, but it didn't work.

"How long have you been separated?"

"Not long, but it's not something I ever plan on revisiting. Can we not talk about him?" Kate met his eyes and gave him a small smile.

She heard her phone go off in her purse again so she pulled it out. This time it was a text from Myra asking how the luncheon had gone. Kate wrote a quick reply telling her that they were on a date right now and that she would call her later before shoving her phone back in her purse.

"He's persistent though, ill give him that." Rick had a bit of a jealous tone as he stared over towards a playground.

"Not him this time, just my agent. I'm done with the texting though, my phone will stay put away." She gave him a little nudge to lighten the mood. Castle was clearly a little uncomfortable so Kate thought maybe she should ease his mind and offer up more information about Josh.

"We were high school sweethearts, dated for over three years. We just don't have the same wants and it was becoming a huge issue. So I broke up with him." Kate said pulling back and switching positions so that her body was facing his on the bench.

"Look, Kate… I wasn't asking or trying to pry into your personal life." The look on his face was apologetic. He clearly had some regret about showing his discomfort with her texting her ex.

Kate laughed and shifted back towards him. "You were not asking pretty loudly." She bumped her shoulder into his side and he let out an embarrassed giggle.

"Can we make a first date promise? No matter what happens from this point on we will always be honest about it." Rick said. He was clearly already forming an attachment and Kate didn't really know how she should feel about that. Sure she felt it to, a pull, something very natural between them. She also knew that this was supposed to be a temporary fix for his publisher, a job. The thought of that was actually becoming a little creepy to her. Maybe she should tell Gina that she didn't want it to be a job. That maybe, instead she wanted to actually pursue a relationship with him. After all, the had hit it off pretty well naturally.

All of these things rushing to her head were just making her more and more anxious about what she had gotten herself into. She was definitely going to have to sleep on it and give the whole thing some thought.

Eventually Castle got a little uncomfortable with the cold and decided they should take this date indoors somewhere.

"So its about 4:30 now.." Castle said glancing down at his watch. "So it's a little early for dinner.."

"Dinner? You're really going for this all day date aren't you Castle?"

"Well unless you're opposed or have other plans I'd really like to take you out to dinner. You in?" Castle started to stand and Kate followed.

"I mean I don't have dinner plans but I'd kind of like to change if we are going out to dinner. I mean shouldn't I be dressed up for that?" Kate said looking up and down her own body insinuating that she wasn't properly dressed for a dinner date.

"Well, we can stop by your place if you'd like and you can change. Maybe pick up some wine on the way and have a glass before dinner?" Rick was testing his limits with how comfortable she was with him.

"Actually I have a better idea. Since it is so cold out I'd rather not even worry about getting dressed and getting back out in this. How about we order in and rent a movie and watch it at my house?" Kate offered it up, not knowing if he would bite. She really didn't like the cold and she didn't know how comfortable she was with them being seen on a date at a nice restaurant. She didn't want this to blow up before her eyes before she even had a chance to decide on what she was going to do.

"That sounds even better, Kate." He smiled at her and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. She didn't resist at all. In fact, after their fingers were intertwined; she gave his hand a gentle squeeze a smile burst across her face.

"You're going to be good, right?" Kate jokingly asked.

"A perfect gentleman." He promised.

**Reviews would be nice, and they're very motivational. Even if you just say you're still reading and I'm not writing for no one. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 5

When they got to Kate's building she released his hand and got into her purse searching for her keys. She slid the magnetic keychain over a sensor and pulled the door open. Mentally taking note that she would need to ask Josh for his back. The elevator ride up they discussed dinner option and decided that Chinese take out was both of their number one options.

When they got into her apartment they both shed their jackets and Kate took his from him, hanging both of them in the closet

"Make yourself at home, I'm gonna go grab a menu from the kitchen."

After pulling out the menu for her favorite Chinese delivery place she sat next to him on the couch and handed him the menu.

"Pick what you'd like, I pretty much get the same thing every time. Wonton soup with a side of lo mein noodles. Simple, but it's my favorite thing ever. " Kate drew her legs into her body and wrapped her arms around them. She was sitting at the opposite end of the couch waiting for him to choose.

"That's it? Well I'll place the order then because I like a little bit of everything." He said.

After calling and placing the order, in which he ordered enough to feed 10 of himself. She decided that she should use this time to ask him some personal questions since all they had talked about was her all day.

"So you have a daughter? Who I must admit is the most precious thing I've ever seen." Kate stated.

"Yeah.." a smile spread across his face just thinking about Alexis. "She is the coolest kid ever. Seriously, I was so scared to become a parent. However, when I held her for the first time it just clicked. This person was sent to me for a reason. She has made me cool again. In a different way though, because clearly I was already cool. She makes me want the best of everything, not for myself, but for her. I want her to have every opportunity to excel. Which shouldn't be too hard, because she is already smarter than me and she is only four." He let out a proud chuckle.

Kate could see how proud he was to even talk about Alexis. The fact that he had a child kind of intimidated her. Being only 19, she didn't know if she could handle dating a man that had already started a family.

"Does the fact that I have a kid scare you?" Rick asked. It was almost like he could read her mind.

"I wouldn't say it scares me, but it's different." Kate replied.

"Well, she's awesome, and you'll love her. Probably more than you'll ever like me. She likes to win the affections of anyone and everyone who shoes interest in me. Its like a competition and she always wins. I think it's the red hair, something about the red hair people love." He was on a tangent, clearly in his own head about why his daughter was so loveable. It was probably the cutest thing Kate had ever witnessed. She could feel herself turning softer just being around Castle. He might be a little bit older than her but he was definitely a child at heart, and didn't take himself too seriously at all.

"I cant wait to meet her…" Kate said. Shocking even herself when she said it.

"Well, meet her again I guess because the first time didn't really count. It was more of a quick run in." She giggled.

The knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Castle jumped up to get it. Paying for the food, and offering up a generous tip to Jon, the delivery guy.

"Bye Becks, see ya soon." Jon yelled out before walking away.

"Bye Jon!" Kate said from the couch throwing her hand up to wave at him.

"Becks, huh?" he mocked as he started toward the kitchen with the bags when Kate realized it.

"Hey, bring that in here. I am not the formal kind of girl. We'll eat in here, out of the boxes. Oh, and he frequents my apartment, like I said it's my favorite." She said, rising to her feet. She shuffled off to the kitchen and grabbed some silverware, the bottle of wine they had stopped for, and two glasses.

"Wine, and Chinese food. Castle, this is actually the perfect end to my day."

"Well I'm glad that this date actually ended up perfect for you." He said in a cocky but joking voice.

"Yeah, yeah. Sit down and dig in with me. I don't want to look like a pig, chowing down by myself."

Eventually the eating slowed and Kate sat her bowl of soup on the coffee table and grabbed her wine glass to take a sip.

"You know I'm not even old enough to drink, right?" Kate asked teasing him a little bit.

"Yeah I meant to ask your exact age, but I was pre occupied with your eyes and I forgot." He laughed, leaning forward to place his food on the table. Switching it out for his wine as well.

"I'm 19 by the way…" She shoved him playfully and took another drink before placing her glass back down and grabbing the remote. She turned the tv on and went straight for the on-demand movie options. They battled back and forth for a while before finally choosing dirty dancing. Kate chose it because it was her all time favorite, and Rick openly announced that he had agreed simply because she was so passionate about it and he couldn't tell her no. That earned him a smile and she made sure to cuddle in extra close to him for being sweet about it. That alone was enough for him to watch happily.

Kate passed out a little over half way into the movie and Rick didn't have the heart to wake her. He knew he had to go, Alexis would be upset if he wasn't there in the morning. He eased out from beside her and put a pillow under her head to take the place of his body. He covered her in a blanket and wrote a note that he laid on the kitchen counter next to the coffee pot. Hoping that she would see it as soon as she woke up.

Kate woke up at around 8:30 the next morning to an empty apartment. She assumed he had gone home to be with his daughter. The kitchen was her first stop to get a pot of coffee going and she noticed his note immediately.

_Kate,_

_I had to get home to Alexis and relieve my mother of her babysitting duties. _

_Best first date, Ever. _

_P.s. You smell like cherries._

_-Castle_

She couldn't contain her laughter at the cuteness of his note. She knew that this was more than a job to her already and she needed to figure out a way to let Myra and Gina both know that she was truly interested in him. She decided to shower first and she would contact Myra later about it and maybe she could handle Gina for her.

When Kate got out of the shower she went to the living room to retrieve her phone from the coffee table. She had a missed call and a text, both from Castle.

_The call was just to say good morning. What can I say? I have Beckett on my brain._

He was really pursuing this and she couldn't really believe it. Maybe this was all a joke on her. Was it possible for a someone like him to be so interested in someone like her. She was young and he was… well, not as young as her. He had a daughter and a real career. Was she what he was really looking for? She was just a 19-year-old college freshman, straight out of a relationship and uncertain about her future. She couldn't stop thinking about him either and it was making her feel guilty. She had just ended things with Josh and she was already starting to develop feelings for someone else.

_Good morning to you as well. Thanks for tucking me in._

She sent the text and decided it was probably time she called Myra to let her know what all had been going on. It had been two days since they had discussed any of this and she knew that before too long Myra would be blowing her phone up. She dialed her number and Myra answered quickly.

"bout time I hear from you Kate Beckett."

"Well I've been busy going on dates with a very handsome and charming author." Kate offered up easily.

"Well, spill, how are things going?"

"That's actually something I really need to talk to you about. Myra I don't think that I am comfortable with the current arrangement. I know that Gina wanted all of this for publicity reasons but I don't think that I am going to be okay with doing what she asked. Truth is, I think we kind of have a connection, and maybe its something that I am going to pursue on my own. I know that this might not be what you were expecting to hear from me and you might not exactly agree with it, but he's different. He's kind, and sweet, and there is definitely something there between us, and now I'm just rambling on about it because that's how he makes me feel."

"Whoa, whoa, slow down Kate. You and Rick actually hit it off and you're basically asking me if its okay to date him.." Myra asked. Kate couldn't tell if her voice was disapproving or just confused.

"Well I'm not asking for permission. I'm nineteen and I can make my own decisions. I just wanted you to let Gina know that I wasn't interested in the job anymore but that I would be pursuing a relationship with him on my own terms." Kate was sharp and final with her statement. She was pretty sure that Myra fully understood now and she didn't give her any grief about it. In fact she agreed that they would make a good couple and said that she would contact Gina and let her know.

After hanging up the phone Kate felt a lot better about what had been going on with Rick. She wanted this, but on her own terms. She sat on the couch enjoying her coffee and reading through one of her fashion magazines that she had picked up earlier in the week.

Around noon her phone started to ring and when she looked at the caller id and saw that it was him her stomach filled with butterflies. She quickly answered the phone and pulled it up to her ear.

"Miss me already Mr. Castle?" she teased.

"How'd you know? I mean I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I left your apartment." His tone was sweet.

"What are you doing… right now?" She asked.

"uhh uhh.. right now, exactly?" he stuttered. "Just put Alexis down for her nap and I'm about to start some laundry."

"How domestic. I was going to see if you wanted to meet up and maybe grab lunch but it seems that you have a full plate already." She said disappointingly.

"How about this. I had planned on taking Alexis to an indoor play place when she woke up from her nap. If you'd like to join we could grab some coffee and visit while she plays with the other kids. I mean if you're even comfortable being around her already. Maybe its too soon, you know what forget I even said anything."

"Castle, calm down, I'd love to come. I love kids, and she is part of you. I can't be accepting of you if I'm not accepting of her, right? You two are a package deal."

"That we are. Well, I'm glad you want to join, because there are a few single moms there that can't take a hint. Plus, I wouldn't mind showing you off in front of them." He joked.

"I'm going to get ready. You just text me when Alexis wakes up and tell me a time and place and I'll meet you there."

"How about Alexis and I stop by to pick you up on the way. It'll be easier." He said.

She agreed, but she was a little nervous about it. Would Alexis like her, or would she be one of those kids who was really mean to any woman her father brought around. She would have to find out sooner or later, might as well find out now.

**Sorry I'm posting so late in the day. I think I have the flu, which has been so horrible today. Thanks for the reviews and follows. You all are awesome, and so supportive. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 6

As Castle and Alexis approached Kate's door he reminded her to be kind to Kate and not to talk her head off too much. Alexis was a talker and Castle enjoyed hearing her verbalize what was going on in that 4-year-old mind of hers. Alexis was a sweetheart, and as kind as they come as far as four year olds were concerned. She was rather outgoing, which Castle concluded was a combination of her actress mother. Rick knocked on the door and took Alexis hand into his own as they wait for Kate to answer.

She pulled the door open and her eyes locked with his, bringing a smile to both of their faces.

"Hey Castle…" Kate said as she looked down towards Alexis, smile only growing as she noticed the little girl bundled up in a hat, scarf, and a huge bubble jacket. "and little Castle" she said giving Alexis a wink.

"Hi Kate" Alexis piped up first.

Rick and Kate let out simultaneous chuckles as they watched Alexis wave her hand back and forth.

Alexis let out a sigh and the smile left her face. She yanked on Ricks arm as she looked up towards him.

"Daddy stop laughing at me, you always laugh at me." The little girl said with a hint of frustration in her voice.

"I'm sorry baby, you're just so cute I can't help it."

She yanked his arm again. "I'm not a baby, daddy. I am four now." She said in a serious tone.

"I know, I know. I wasn't calling you a baby. It's a term of endearment, and just so you know, you will always be my baby girl." He told her, giving her arm a little tug back.

Alexis sighed and looked back up at Kate, releasing her fathers hand and extending it out to Kate.

"I'm Alexis, I know we met before but I never got to tell you my name. I'm his.." she pointed up to her father. "number one girl, right daddy." She said.

Rick looked down at her and gave her a smile. "always." He replied.

Taking her dads hand again and leaning into his side Alexis made eye contact with Kate, "Are you ready to go, Kate?"

"Just let me grab my coat." Kate replied, leaving them at the door to grab her coat and purse.

As soon as they got to Monkey Joes, Alexis tore her shoes off and ran to the ball pit. Kate's eyes were glued to Alexis and she couldn't stop watching her. It didn't go unnoticed by Rick who couldn't stop watching Kate's eyes follow Alexis through the ball pit.

"She's something else isn't she?" Rick said, not taking his eyes from Kate. She immediately looked over at him, taking her focus off of Alexis.

"I didn't think she could get any cuter, but I think she just proved me wrong."

"Yeah, I can tell that she has already stolen your attention from me." He gave her a small shoulder bump from where he sat next to her.

"Am I not giving you enough attention?" Kate teased, looking up to meet his eyes "or are you just not good at sharing?"

"I was an only child, can you really blame me for being a bad sharer? Plus that little red headed devil steals all the attention, all the time. I'm starting to resent her a little." He jokingly said.

"Not to pry, and you really don't have to answer any questions that you don't want to, I understand that you probably like to keep some things pretty private, but what is the deal with her mother?"

"She isn't around much. She lives in California, an actress, well that's what she calls it." He half heartedly laughed, seeming to get a little uncomfortable with the question.

"Sorry, like I said you don't have to answer my questions if you don't want to." Kate threw her hand on his knee letting him know that she wasn't trying to make him feel uncomfortable.

He looked at her and gave her a smile, covering her hand on his knee. "Kate, I don't have anything to hide. I trust you, and I want you to trust me.." he intertwined their fingers and pulled her hand more into his lap, not letting go.

"Were you ever married to her mother?" Kate couldn't help but ask more about Alexis mother, she was curious, and if he didn't mind answering then she didn't mind asking.

"Briefly… When she found out she was pregnant. We had only been dating a few months. I loved her, but we rushed into everything because we wanted to bring her into the world as a family, well I did. A little after Alexis' first birthday I came home and caught her in bed with her director. I saw it as a quick way out, I mean, she never really showed any real interest in Alexis. I don't think she really felt comfortable as a parent, so she left most of it to me. Since then it's just been me and her, on our own."

"Well, you've done a great job."

"Thanks." He said squeezing her hand a little tighter.

After a while Rick caught Alexis rubbing her eyes inside the ball pit so he went to get her. Kate couldn't help but swoon a little bit at the sight of him with Alexis. She was much to young to be a parent, but she admired how good he was at it. Alexis eventually let him pick her up and he swung her over his hip. She nuzzled into his kneck and laid her head on his shoulder. Castle walked back over to Kate, extending his hand for her to take. They all loaded back up in the town car and buckled in. Once they started driving Castle looked toward Kate who was looking out the window.

"Something on your mind?" he asked.

She shifted silently and looked up at him. "Yeah, you." She replied with a shy smile.

"Me, huh? I'm right here though."

"Yeah, but you're still on my mind. At the risk of sounding a little crazy I won't tell you exactly what's on my mind, but I just want you to know that the last few days have been exactly what I needed."

"Yeah, me too."

The car ride was short to Kate's apartment but Alexis found a way to fall asleep before they arrived. Rick couldn't leave Alexis to walk Kate up to her apartment, but he did walk her to the front of her building. Before she had the chance to say anything he grabbed a hold of one of her hand and pulled her in his direction. His hand left hers and ran up her arm and over her shoulder stopping at her neck and pulling her in for a kiss that literally took her breath away. She opened her mouth allowing him to slide his tongue in briefly and before he pulled away she softly bit his lip. When her eyes opened he had a cocky grin on his face.

"Stop looking so smug." She said, shoving at his shoulder a bit.

"You have a crush on me, don't you?" he replied, pulling her back to his body.

"So what if I do? Is that a problem for you?" she placed her hands on both of his shoulders and pushed him away playfully. He stumbled back and gave her a wink.

"No problem here." He said throwing his hands up over his shoulders in surrender.

"Good!"

"I'll call you." he yelled out as he climbed back into the town car.

Kate entered her apartment and collapsed on the couch. She pulled her phone out of her purse and realized she had a few text messages. The first two from Josh.

_I tried calling, but no answer. I have a few of your things that you left at my apartment, you can come get them or I can bring them by. Let me know._

The second one read.

_I know you don't want to talk to me, but you don't have to ignore me all together Kate, grow up._

She typed up a text to him before checking her others. Simply stating that she hadn't checked her phone in a few hours and she would let him know when she could drop by and get her things.

She then looked at her other message.

_Gina didn't really seem too enthusiastic about you pursuing him on your own, but she can't really stop you from doing it. _

Kate wondered why Gina would care at all. She wasn't having to pay Kate to do exactly what she wanted her to do in the first place. Shouldn't she be happy about that? Shouldn't she be relieved that Kate wasn't trying to use him. She agreed with Myra though, Gina couldn't stop her from seeing him on her own terms so she would just have to learn to deal with it. Kate sent a text to Myra, thanking her for talking to Gina about the situation, and leaving it at that.

Over the next two days Kate didn't hear a single word from Castle. She had given him a little space, thinking that he might feel as if things were moving too fast. But as the afternoon of the second day came she started to get a little nervous. He had told her that he would call her after he dropped her at her building. It had been two days though and she didn't know if maybe he had changed his mind? But, he had kissed her right before he left. Surely he wouldn't have kissed her, like that, and then decided that he wasn't interested, right? After going back and forth in her mind about it she decided that maybe she should call him, so she dialed his number.

"Hello?"

"Rick…. hi."

"I am so sorry," already beginning to apologize before she even had a chance to show any concern over his lack of communication. "Things have been so hectic, I haven't had much time to breathe. I am so sorry I haven't called, or text, I could have at least sent you a text."

"Castle, its fine, I was just worried about whether you were still alive or not." She teased and let out a low chuckle.

"I'm still alive, and you're still on my mind."

"Obviously I'm not on your mind much or you would have called, like you said you would. I mean who kisses a girl like that and tells her he'll call and then just.. doesn't?" the irritation was showing in her voice. Why was she irritated, why did she even care that much. He didn't owe her anything.

"I know, I know. I am sorry and I've been so busy. Look, let me make it up to you. Come over for dinner tonight and we can watch a movie together after I put Alexis to bed. Please." He was apologetic, and he sounded like he meant it.

For anyone else Kate probably would have made up an excuse or lied about having other plans just to blow him off for forgetting about her for the past two days, but for him she couldn't. She wanted to see him, and she wanted to cuddle up next to him on the couch. Maybe even kiss him again.

"I don't know Castle, I might…"

he interrupted "Kate, be serious, you don't have anything else that you 'might' be doing. Don't be stubborn, come over tonight, I'll fix dinner and we can spend a little time together. I leave tomorrow for a few days anyway. I'd love to see you before I go, and maybe get a kiss to last me a few more days."

He did want to kiss her, and that made her feel a thousand things at once. How did he do it, how was he so good at making her feel so important already. Especially after he had put her off for the last two days.

"I'll come for dinner, but I'm not making any promises over whether or not you'll get a good night kiss. I mean I don't know what I'd do if I got to kiss you, and then you just forgot about me again." She was being playful now, but truth be told she couldn't wait to kiss him again.

"There is no forgetting those lips, Kate Beckett. I wont be forgetting them for a while. I'm sorry, and I'll show you just how sorry I am tonight by making you the best dinner you've ever had. I'll text you the address, and be here around 6."

"I can't wait." She was trying to remain calm, and not sound too excited about getting to see him. Thank God he couldn't see the smile that she had on her face or feel her heart beating fast in her chest.

She hung up the phone and went straight to her room to get ready. She needed to find something to wear to impress him.

**Still sick, and I failed my math midterm today. All around not the best day so this might be a little bit of a crappy chapter. I do have a little tiny bit of angst coming up but it will be resolved quickly. I don't want to push them together too fast, but it becomes hard to keep things slow as far as storyline goes. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 7

Dressed in a skintight pair of skinny jeans and a black lace top Kate slid her coat off before approaching his door. She wanted to make sure that she made a lasting impression tonight. If he was going away for a few days she wanted to make sure that he really did have Kate Beckett on his mind. She knocked on the door and stood there patiently. When the door flung open, Rick let out a gasp as his jaw dropped…

"Kate, wow. You look beautiful." He took a step back, clearing the doorway so that she could come in.

She had dressed this way on purpose and she knew that her outfit might have this affect on him, but it didn't keep her from blushing at his compliment. She walked in passing him and meeting his eyes as she did. He noticed the smirk on her face and he grabbed her arm pulling her back to him. They stood face to face as he slowly tilted his head to the side, placing a light kiss on her cheek, and then whispering into her ear… "mmmmmmm… cherries."

She ran her hand up his side pulling him in closer and partially hugging him as she whispered back "don't push your luck if you're trying to get a good night kiss Mr. Castle."

Pulling back slowly his eyes were focused on her lips, so she took her bottom lip in dragging her top teeth over it. He tilted his head to the side as he looked back up at her eyes, acknowledging that he knew she was a tease. Which brought a little bout of laughter from both of them.

"Daddy, I'm hungry.." an impatient voice came from the other room.

Castle nodded toward the kitchen, so that Kate would follow him.

"Well, it's almost done baby girl."

"What's on the menu for tonight, ." Beckett asked.

"Chicken parmesan, I hope you eat meat, and pasta."

"I might be a model, but when it comes to food, I love all of it." She responded, rubbing her belly.

Kate approached the bar and pointed to the seat next to were Alexis was sitting with her crayons and coloring book.

"Can I sit here?"

Alexis' eyes flew to Kate and then she spun the chair out for Kate.

"Wanna color with me?" Alexis asked enthusiastically as she flipped the page in her coloring book and tore it out for Kate to color.

"Of course." Kate said as she slid onto the barstool, pulling the paper from the little girls hand and placing it down in front of her.

Rick couldn't help but smile at their interaction, he knew Kate was younger and didn't exactly know how she felt about Alexis. He did give Kate credit for showing up and not running. Women were great at running from him once they found out about Alexis, and that he had sole custody. It wasn't that he tried to hide Alexis from anyone, but he did feel like it was his job to shield her from the very public life he had. He made sure never to talk about her in interviews and if she did go to anything job related she had to stay in the back. He felt the further away he kept her from that life the better off she would be.

Kate and Alexis sat quietly and colored while Rick finished up dinner. When everything was ready and the table was set he told both the girls to have a seat at the dining room table. They left their pictures on the bar to join him.

"Gosh, Rick this looks and smells amazing."

"I told you it was a make up dinner for regretfully not calling like I said I would."

"Well if it taste as good as it smells then all is forgiven and we can move forward… So what are you going out of town for?" Kate asked, switching the subject.

"I have a few business meetings in Chicago. It will just be three days, which wont be too bad, right squirt.." He said, poking Alexis in the side, showing her a little bit of attention so she wouldn't feel left out.

"I'm staying with Gram. Right, Daddy?"

"Wow Lex, Im sure you're excited to be staying three whole days with your Gram, huh?" Kate asked and the little girl nodded her head excitedly. Her mouth full of pasta and a little sauce spread over her cheeks.

She finished chewing, swallowed and let out a sigh.

"Daddy always goes away, but I do love staying with my Gram, she lets me stay up late." Alexis eyed her dad out of the corner of her vision, but made sure not to make eye contact. Rick let out a shocked response, he was clearly hamming it up for his daughter and it was adorable.

"I always loved when my parents would leave me with my grandparents when I was little. They would spoil me rotten and let me eat as much ice cream as I wanted."

"My Gram lets me do that too." Alexis gave Kate a big smile.

After dinner Rick took Alexis upstairs to get her ready for bed while Kate nursed a glass of wine on the couch. She heard the stairs squeak as he started down them and she watched as he walked towards her. She felt butterflies every time she saw him and she couldn't contain her smile. The feeling was different than anything she had ever felt for Josh. Sure she had loved Josh and those feelings were completely different from what she was feeling now, but she assumed that this might be what lusting for someone felt like. The attraction was there, both of them knew it, and neither of them were afraid of it. Rick walked over to the couch with his glass of wine in hand and plopped down as close as he could to her.

"You don't know how nice it is to have you alone." He said gripping the leg that she had pulled up on the couch and placing it over his lap. She took the liberty of pulling her other leg over as well. "Not that I don't love watching you with Alexis, but I cant have her stealing you away from me." He teased.

"Yeah, I think she likes me." Kate joked as she lifted her glass to her mouth and took a sip. He watched as she lowered the cup back down and swallowed.

Not being able to control himself… "Everything about you is so sexy."

"Well that's pretty forward…" Kate giggled. "and how is drinking wine sexy?"

"It's not that you're drinking wine, it's everything about how you move." He was infatuated and she beginning to realize that he liked her as much as she liked him, if not more.

"Well, I think you're pretty sexy too, especially watching you with Alexis. I was intimidated by it at first, but now I think that you use her as bait? Am I right?"

"I'm not baiting anything. I've never introduced Alexis to a woman I'm seeing before. Besides Gina, which we weren't really dating, and Alexis had no clue that anything was going on."

Kate almost spit her drink out at Ricks confession about his and Gina's fling. She knew that there was something there when Gina first asked Kate about the job, but she never really thought much about it after.

"Listen, Rick… I don't really know what we're doing, or where this might go…" She paused taking a second to think about how she was going to do this. "Look, I really like you, and I don't know why I'm saying this out loud because it's so unlike me, but you just make me feel like I can tell you anything, and I hope that I can, because I need to tell you something before this… whatever this is, goes any further." She looked down into the glass of wine, scared to look him in the eye. She felt his hand on her chin as he raised her eyes to his.

"Kate, you can tell me anything."

"Gina hired me to date you…" She blurted it out before she even had a chance to think about it anymore.

Ricks hand left her chin and he retreated back into his own territory immediately.

"Wait, what?" he was confused and she could tell he was in shock at her admission.

"Listen, after I actually met you I told her that I didn't want her job. I told her I liked you. I just can't lie to you about it anymore, it really has been eating me up inside. After the last few days of not seeing, or talking to you I realized that I might actually have feelings for you. I knew that I couldn't continue to see you without telling you. I didn't really plan for it to happen like this, but you know…" Kate's eyes were everywhere but on his and she nervously ran her hand through her hair repetitively.

Rick lifted her legs from his lap and stood up. He started to pace a little bit silently as Kate watched.

"I think you should go.." he wasn't angry but she could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Now, Kate… I think you should go now."

Kate stood and her heart was pounding so fast she thought he might be able to hear it.

"Rick, don't do this. I…. I'm being honest with you. Would you rather me have gone on seeing you without telling you this. Maybe I should have lied, I'm so stupid. Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?" Now she was pacing frantically, she looked up to see him frozen in place staring at her.

"You're right… I'm glad you told me, and I'm glad that being honest with me was a priority to you." He was rubbing his forehead with his pointer finger and thumb trying to give himself time to think.

Eventually, after sorting his thoughts he looked back up at Kate who was staring down at her hands fiddling with a string on her shirt. He took a step towards her and pulled her into a hug.

"I do appreciate the honesty, but I think I need the whole story before I make any decisions." He was giving her a chance to explain and really that's all she could ask for at this point. She knew that he might react this way, but honestly she didn't come here planning to tell him like this. She thought she would have more time, but seeing him tonight she knew that she couldn't continue to do this without letting him know the truth.

They sat back down on the couch and Kate told him the whole story from beginning to end. Not skipping any details, and even throwing in a few cute remarks about how he gave her butterflies the first time she saw him.

"If I could go back, Castle, I wouldn't change it, because I wouldn't have met you at all, and I know that this is only our third 'date' if you want to call it that, but I'm not ready for this to be over, and I think that if we can make it past this, well…. we might actually have a shot at something down the road." She gave him a shrug and a shy smile reaching for his hand.

He took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers and playing with her hand while he sat there contemplating his next move and wondering what he should do.

"I really like you Kate, and I agree, I think that we could have a shot at something in the future, and maybe I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and just pretend that none of that ever happened."

"Can we? Do you think you can put it behind you and forget about it, because if you don't think you can then I don't think we should waste our time. I don't want this to be something that comes back to haunt me or us in the future." she responded nervously, not knowing where he was going with all of this.

"I think I can, and I think that we have something special… You know, before I met you I told Gina that I wanted to be single for a year… That was all of two weeks ago maybe, and now you're here, with me, on my couch and I haven't been this happy to sit next to someone on my couch since… well, maybe, ever."

She leaned into his chest, wrapping her arm around the front of his body and nuzzling into his side. "Yeah, I think I like this." She said as she squeezed him.

He wrapped his right arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tighter.

"You're kinda squishy."

She slapped his chest and he let out a laugh.

"SQUISHY? You can't call a girl squishy." She sat up, her hand traveling up his chest and over his shoulder. She felt it click in her body and she needed to be closer to him. So she allowed her fingers to travel up and into the back of his hair, pulling him in close and kissing him passionately.

Just moments ago she was afraid that he was going to end it all and now she was throwing one of her legs over his lap to straddle him. She pressed her chest into his as she deepened the kiss. He took both of his hands and placed them on her hips pulling her down tighter into his lap. They feverishly made out for a few minutes until they both needed to breathe.

"That was….." he started

"EVERYTHING" she finished as she placed another kiss on his cheek and started to pepper his jaw with small kisses.

She pulled back and she could see the lust in his eyes, they were dark and she could tell that his attraction was turning into something more. She pulled her leg back over and plopped down on her bottom, keeping them close together by leaning into his side.

"Yeah it's probably best that you aren't straddling me, I don't know that I could contain myself much longer, and I'm trying really hard to be a gentleman right now."

"Yeah, I figures as much when your hands started to pull back after barely making contact wit my bum."

"I was shocked, and maybe a little nervous that if I let myself touch that I wouldn't be able to refrain from touching more.." he threw his head to the side, in a partial shrug suggesting that things might have gotten out of hand if he would have let his hands roam anymore.

"No chance that would have happened tonight anyway." She admitted.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. I was never expecting anything to happen like that."

"Look, Rick, I'm not a prude or anything but I also want it to be special. I'm a romantic that way." She was being more open than she thought possible. He was someone that she had grown to trust so quickly, and she wasn't afraid of him, or of telling him exactly how she felt. It was refreshing, and it felt so natural to both of them.

"I want this to be special too, and if and when it does happen I can promise you that it will be everything you want it to be, and on your terms." He promised.

They cuddled on the couch for a bit longer before Kate started to yawn.

"I think I should probably go.." She motioned toward the door.

"You don't have to. No funny business, but I would love to have a little spoon to cuddle with tonight." He smirked at her motioning away from the door and towards his bedroom.

"You'll be a gentleman, right?" she asked.

"as promised." He replied.

He stood, reaching his hand out for hers and pulling her behind him towards his room. As they entered his bedroom her eyes began to wonder. She took in everything from his curtains to the art. He had clearly hired a decorator and it was perfect.

He opened the drawers of his chest and pulled out a pair of boxers and a white shirt and handed them to her and shoved her in the direction of the bathroom. She took the hint and went to get changed. When she returned he was already under the covers waiting for her. He pulled the blanket back and patted the bed, she jumped in and cuddled in close. She thought maybe she was acting a little too excited, but she couldn't contain it, she was happy, and it was all because of him. He adjusted himself and pulled her in close, kissing the top of her head. Before long they were both fast asleep.

**I just felt like writing, and then I couldn't stop. This is really helpful at relieving stress. **

**I finally got the whole situation out of the way, she was honest about it which I feel like is something that he should appreciate, even if he was shocked. **

**Hope you're enjoying ! **


	8. Chapter 8

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 8

As the sun began to rise and sneak through the crevices of the blinds, Kate turned her head over to shield the light and met Ricks gaze.

"Don't watch me sleep." Her words were mumbled and barely understandable but they drew out a laugh from Castle.

"I wasn't really watching you sleep, just listening to you snore."

"I don't snore Rick."

"Oh, you definitely snore, it's cute, and subtle. I wouldn't lie about such a thing."

His hand came up to sweep her hair from her cheek and he tucked it safely behind her ear. He used the opportunity and closeness to rub his hand over her shoulder and down her arm, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer to him to steal a kiss. It was quick, and Kate wasn't expecting it at all, she broke away fast and pulled her hand up over her mouth.

"Castle, I have morning breath."

"Oh and you think I don't. I don't care what your breath smells like, I cant help but kiss those lips when they're right in front of me, begging for my attention."

"Oh really? Begging for your attention.. Well, if they're so desperate for your attention, who am I to stop you, right?" she said playfully. Before she knew it his hand was on the back of her neck pulling her in for a more passionate kiss, that she allowed him to deepen by opening her mouth to allow him access. Things quickly started to get out of hand, which was Kate's fault completely. Rick began to tense up as Kate's hands began to wonder under the sheets. She was having a hard time keeping things cool between them, but she couldn't calm her attraction to him. She craved his touch all over her body, and when she felt him begin to tense up she retreated immediately. She pulled back, and stopped kissing him, sitting up in the bed and anxiously fixing her shirt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to make you uncomfortable." She said, as she awkwardly shifted and dropped her legs to the ground. She stood from the bed as fast as she could, taking her clothes from the chair and bolting into the bathroom.

Rick stood and ran after her to the bathroom door, getting it slammed in his face. He laid his head against the door, and took a deep breath.

"Kate, I'm sorry…" He said, and it was met by silence. He knew she could hear him, because he could hear her moving around behind the closed door.

"Kate…." He repeated, searching for a response.

She flung the door open, dressed in the clothes she had worn over the night before, her hair still tussled and uncombed. She walked straight past him and out of the room, not making eye contact at any point. He followed after her and when she went to pull on her jacket, he grabbed her arm, stilling her movement and finally receiving a response. Her eyes shot up to his, and they were red rimmed and he could tell she had either shed a tear or two, or was about to.

"I'm sorry, but I think I should go." She said with a shaken voice and he could feel her trembling.

"First, I want you to tell me what's wrong, and I think you should do it over a cup of coffee with me."

"Rick…"

He took her hand in his and began pulling her towards the kitchen. He pulled out a stool and forced her into it, placing a kiss on her forehead before he rounded the bar to start a pot of coffee.

"So, are you going to tell me why you just freaked all the way out on me in there?" he asked, motioning back towards the bedroom.

Still, he got no response.

"Kate, I can't fix this problem on my own, whatever it is, you have to tell me…." He was pushing but he was being as sweet as possible about it.

"Look, Castle, I didn't mean to freak you out, or come on to strong, I just thought that you were in to me, and I guess I had gotten the wrong impression. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, or was to much to soon."

He walked back over to the opposite side of the bar, spun her chair towards him and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"I'm suppose to be the one apologizing for pushing to much, too soon, right?" he let out a chuckle and her face broke a little, he could tell that her anxiety was settling.

"It's not that I don't want to go there with you, because I do. I can't wait until I can go there with you, but I think that we both need time to prepare ourselves for that. You just got out of a serious relationship, and I just promised myself I'd be single for a year. I think what both of us need is some time to adjust to everything that's going on between us. We clearly weren't looking for this, but I think we can both agree that we have something here…" he paused, searching her face for something, anything, but still he got nothing.

"If I'm wrong and you want to walk out that door right now, I promise I wont stop you. I just wanted you to know that what happened in there was not rejection. I know that if things had gotten any more out of control in there then I wouldn't have been able to stop."

He released her chin from his hand and her eyes fell to the floor. She didn't know what to say. She had clearly misinterpreted what had happened in his bed just minutes before.

"im sorry.." she mumbled

"I don't know what happened in there Rick. One-second things were getting heated and the next you were resisting and I just felt like I had overstepped. I freaked out because I thought you didn't want me, didn't want to do that with me. I know that I'm not really experienced, I've only been with one person, and I thought that maybe you could tell."

"Kate, babe, I don't care about how much 'experience' you have or don't have. That's not important to me, but I tell you what is important to me. I want you to be completely comfortable and ready whenever we do take that step, if I'm so lucky to get to take that step with you." He pulled her body close, embracing her in a hug and rubbing his hands over her back to try and calm her.

"I am ready Rick. If you couldn't tell back there I was completely ready and comfortable. You were the one that was uncomfortable with what was happening."

"Well, can you blame me? Last night you were basically telling me that sex was off the table, which I agree with, and then you're jumping my bones this morning. I just don't want something to happen that you'll regret."

"Regret? I would never regret sleeping with you."

"Maybe not, but I'm not willing to take the risk. I want us both to be ready and all in when it happens. I don't think I could risk losing you over something as silly as sex. So lets agree that no more heated make out sessions until we are both ready to take it to the next level."

"So basically you're saying that before we have sex we are going to have to have a sex talk?" She let out a giggle and he was happy to see that the situation was becoming lighter for her.

"Well, I'm assuming you know how it works after seeing you in action in there a few minutes ago." He joked.

"I do." She barked back.

"Well then, when the time comes we will discuss it and if we are both ready then we will… ya know." He trailed off, looking around the room, like he was nervous that someone might overhear.

She noticed him getting uncomfortable now so she decided to tease him a little.

"What Rick? Have sex? Fuck? Is that it…. you want to fuck me. Oh, or make love. That's what you want to do, right? You want to make love to me.." she was teasing, but the look of shock she drew from him was completely worth it.

"So, what if I do want to make love to you?" he said as he wrapped his hand around the side of her neck, drawing her in for a slow, passionate kiss. When their lips parted he peppered a few kiss over her cheek and around her jaw, and when he was close enough to just whisper to her.. "does that scare you? That I want to make love to you?"

She leaned into his touch and his face as she felt herself melt into him. She took both of her hands and threw them over his shoulders pulling him close to her as he stood between her thighs. Giving him a complete answer by her actions, he could tell that she wanted nothing more. He began to pull back a little bit, placing his forehead against hers and staring at her closed eyes. He gave her a small peck before standing up straight.

"Good." He said as he walked back over to the coffee pot, pulling down two cups and filling them for the both of them.

Kate stood up in search of her purse. She had almost forgotten it behind in her rush out the door. How awkward would that have been if she had forgotten it and had to turn around and come back to get it after storming out like a child. She brushed it off with a little light laughter, and when she found her phone she pulled it out of her purse to see that Josh had texted her quite a few times. She opened the text to see that they were mostly drunken, stating how much he missed her and wanted her. Some of them were even a little vulgar, talking about things he wanted to do to her sexually. She ignored them, pushing her phone into her purse. She wasn't shocked that he was still thinking about her and that he was drunk texting her. She figured she would probably be doing the same thing if she hadn't been cuddled up in bed with Rick last night.

She sat back down at the bar and shared a few cups of coffee with him, exchanging soft caresses, and even allowing Rick to steal a few sweet kisses. She knew that Rick had to leave today so she wanted all the time she could get with him. It was still early, barely past 8 we they said their goodbyes. He had to catch a plane in a few hours and he wasn't even packed yet. They shared a million goodbye kisses with her arms wrapped around his neck, after each goodbye coming back for more.

"You're going to make me late.." he said as he peppered her face with kisses.

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going." She said, unwrapping her arms from his neck.

"I'll call you tonight when I get settled into my hotel room, okay, I promise."

"Rick, you don't have to call me if you're busy. I know it's a work trip and you're going to be really busy."

"Hey.." he said, taking her hand in his and pulling it up to place a kiss on her wrist.

"I'll call, I promise."

"Ok." She threw a smile at him before turning and walking out the door, letting him close it behind her.

**Sorry for the delay in posting. Major computer issues in the last 24 hours, but it's all fixed now.**

**Also, I am well again, which is amazing after the many hours spent hugging the porcelain throne. Thanks to the reviewers leaving nice comments. Reviews make it easy to write more and more because you know that people are reading and enjoying. I'm willing to write as long as people are engaged in the story. **


	9. Chapter 9

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

**SMUT WARNING! Oh, and don't hate me.**

As Kate entered her apartment she immediately felt something was off. She pulled her phone out and had 911 typed in before she went any further. She placed her purse on the ground next to the door and her eyes began to search the room. Things had been moved, she could tell. Her apartment was always kept in order and with Josh gone things had stayed that way. She checked the kitchen and living room first, and nothing was missing. As she approached her bedroom she heard something. She stuck her head around the door frame, and there Josh was… spread across her still made bed, fully dressed with his face slammed into a pillow. She flew towards him in a fit of rage. Slamming both of her hands into his back, grabbing his shirt and jerking him over onto his back.

"What the fuck are you doing in my house, in my bed, are you crazy?"

He was startled, and his eyes were bloodshot and in shock. He was scared, and she was angry. His arms immediately hit the bed and he threw himself into an upright position.

"What the fuck, Kate? What are you doing here?"

"DOING HERE? What do you mean what are you doing here? It's my apartment Josh! What are YOU doing here?" She yelled, poking him in the chest and throwing the death stare straight at him.

Josh's eyes began to wonder around the room, taking in his surroundings. He started to panic and shake his head as if to wake himself from a bad dream.

"I was drunk, i…I…. I guess I accidentally came here. I don't know.. Everything is really really foggy right now."

Kate stood up off the bed and pointed out the door.

"OUT! GET OUT, RIGHT NOW, BEFORE I…"

"Before you what? Pounce me to death, or poke me to death." He started to laugh.

"Are you laughing at me… Are you seriously …. laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry Kate, it was an accident, and it's kind of funny when you think about it. Calm down, I meant no harm."

She was still fuming. How dare he break into her apartment when she wasn't here. How dare he treat her apartment like his own.

"I want my key back now, please." She stuck out her hand, extending it right into his personal space.

"Fine… It's probably for the best anyway. Not like I need it, and I don't want THIS to happen again, that's for sure." Now he was mocking her with his laughter.

He stood up and started searching the room for his jacket. He located it on the floor by the bathroom door, took the key out of the pocket and handed it to her. When the key hit her hand her stomach dropped. She suddenly felt an extreme amount of anxiety take over her body.

"That's it?" She said. Hand still open, palm up with the key sitting there.

"Excuse me?" He said. Turning back around to face her.

Kate didn't know how to respond. She didn't even really know what she meant by it. She didn't know why all of a sudden she felt like everything was wrong. How could she be feeling this way after just leaving Castles house. She had felt invincible before walking into this apartment.

"You just… show up at my apartment in the middle of the night. When I'm not here, and pass out in my bed, and I come home to you in my bed, and you act like it's nothing. Now you're mocking me, laughing at me because I'm acting like a crazy person. I don't care.. I don't care what you say, you owe me a real explanation. Why are you here, in my apartment." She was shouting now, and her blood pressure was on the rise.

Josh's hand went up in front of him, motioning for her to calm down. "Kate, look, I'm sorry, I should have never came here, but I was drunk, and I miss you, and give me something here, I'm dying without you. Are you really that shocked, I mean you must have seen the messages I sent last night? I couldn't stop thinking about you and how much I miss you. I've tried so hard to give you the space you need. I guess, I guess I just got too drunk and ended up here, and I am so sorry. It won't happen again, you have your key. I wont be barging into your apartment when you aren't here anymore." He said. And then he had a moment of realization. Where had she been?

"Why weren't you here? Did you stay with your parents, Lanie?" his breathing started to quicken, he had just realized that something else might be going on.

Kate started to walk past him into the kitchen to avoid his question, but he just followed her. She went straight for the fridge to grab a bottle of water and when she turned around he was still there. He was in her face and she could see the hurt, he was so hurt, but there was anger there too, so much anger.

"Kate, where were you last night?" he said calmly but he was adamant about her responding.

She ducked away from him, creating more space between them as she walked to the other end of the counter. She knew she had to give him something but she as unsure how to answer. Should she be honest and tell him that she was seeing someone else. Would he think that it had been going on for a while and that she had cheated? Maybe she should just tell him she was at her parents. She didn't want him to assume things that weren't true.

"It's none of your business." She said calmly. "We aren't together Josh, I don't have to tell you anything."

"Kate, It's been a week, If you're seeing someone already it means one of two things. Either you were seeing him before we broke up or you just met him and are already whoring yourself out to him. I'm comfortable with neither of those things."

"Whoring myself out, really Josh. I think you're just acting like a jealous jackass!" She yelled at him.

"So you're saying there is something I should be jealous about?" He was getting closer to her, crowding her into the counter.

"No.." She whispered, as he got closer to her body, to her face.

And then his mouth was on hers, and she was not resisting, she was deepening the kiss. Shoving her hips into his, creating contact that they both wanted. Their hands started to roam feverishly, tearing at each other's clothes. Josh's hands went straight to her pants and he unbuttoned them and began to pull them over her hips and down her legs. He pulled them down and over her ankles, tossing them to the side. He slowly placed sweet kisses up her legs on his way back up her body and when he hit her pelvic bone his hands began to roam up her sides. He stood before her, pulling her shirt up over her head. Taking her face in his hand and gave her one slow, sweet kiss.

"Lets take this to the bedroom." He said as he grabbed her hand, pulling her behind him to the bedroom. As soon as they crossed the treshhold her hands were on him. She started on the buttons of his shirt, and when she flicked the final button off she pushed the shirt down his shoulders onto the floor. He had already unbuttoned his pants and had them off before she had a chance to get to them. As they both stood there in their underwear, silently, eyeing each other, all Kate could think about were all the amazing nights they had enjoyed, just like this. All the love they had made, all the times he had come over mad at someone else and taken it all out on her in the bedroom.

"I miss you," She said. Her eyes started to fog up and she had to blink a few times to let the tears drop down.

He took her arms and shoved her onto the bed, climbing over her body and attacking her mouth. His hands began to roam down over her breast, over the soft skin of her stomach and when he reached her panties he shoved a finger into the side of them pulling them over her hips and down her legs, lifting each leg to pull the lace panties from her body.

He then took hold of both of her legs pulling her to the edge of the bed where he stood. Pulling her legs around his hips she wrapped them around his body tightly as he leaned over her, kissing her slowly.

"You good, love?" he whispered as he broke away from their kiss.

"Yeah, I'm good." She smiled and lifted her head to kiss him again.

He began to arrange himself at her entrance, feeling exactly how much she wanted him. He slid into her and began to thrust, hard, and fast. He took both of her hands in his and lifted them above her head, pulling them together and held them there with one hand. He then took his other hand and placed it on her hip to help her body slam into his repetitively. He was getting aggressive and she didn't know if she liked it or if it was scaring her. He slammed into her hard one time and she yelped in pain, and then he did it again. She tried to pull her hands from his grip on instinct and he let go of them, releasing his hold.

"Josh, you're hurting me."

Without saying anything he slowed his pace and leaned in to kiss her chest, up her neck, and then kissed her lips hard.

"Baby, I just want you. So much." He said as he panted through his slow thrust.

She could feel that he was on the edge of orgasm and she knew she was nowhere near close. Any pleasure that she had been feeling was ruined by his unwanted aggression. She started to sit up a bit and pulled him up onto her, flipping him onto the bed on his back. She then started to rise and fall quickly, forcing her clit to come into contact with his body, rubbing back and forth. When she felt her orgasm coming she quickened her pace. Placing both of her hands on his chest as she rose and fell above him. He came first and as soon as he released inside her she felt her orgasm hit. She rode it out until both of their hearts beats slowed and then she collapsed on his chest.

Josh placed his hands on her ass and lifted her enough to pull out of her and then sat her back down on top of him.

"I think I should go…" he whispered into the top of her head, placing a single soft kiss to her temple before lifting her off of him and on to the bed. He stood from the bed and started to get dressed. Kate just laid there watching him, holding back her tears so that he wouldn't see her cry. She was completely confused about what had just happened and why. This morning she had wanted Castle and only Castle, and now she was laying naked on her bed having just had what most would consider hate sex with her ex boyfriend.

Josh walked out of the room without saying anything to her at all. And when Kate heard the front door click shut she curled in a ball and cried herself to sleep.

**Please, please don't hate me… I promise everything will be okay in the end. **

**Just remember, she is a 19-year-old girl who just got shut down by someone that she wanted. So what if she needed to feel something from someone, even if it was her ex boyfriend that everyone in the fandom hates. Now you really hate him, right?**

**Caskett will prevail.**

**If I don't get a shit ton of reviews on this I think I might give up on life. Even if they are hate reviews.**


	10. Chapter 10

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 10

Kate woke up a few hours later with a pounding headache. She felt sick to her stomach and her head was filled with regret. She made her way to the bathroom, running herself a scalding hot bath. She sank into the water and laid her head back to rest on the back of the tub. Closing her eyes, she began to have flashes of what had happened earlier in her apartment. The tears started slowly but after a minute or so she had broken into full panic-y sobs. How could she have backtracked so much. How would Castle react to this news, after she had already had to confess once to him about how they met. There is no way that he would want anything to do with her after this. When her sobs wouldn't die down and she could barely control her breathing you got out of the bath, wrapping her towel around her body and ran out to her phone. She sent one text, hoping that it would be enough. She knew exactly what she needed and hopefully they would understand.

_Worst morning ever. I need you. Something horrible happened. I know you are working, but just please call when you can._

She went back to her bedroom and pulled on and oversized shirt and sweatpants. She made herself a sandwich and cuddled up on the couch under a blanket. She couldn't even stomach the sandwich, her thoughts still on what had happened this morning. How betrayed she felt by Josh for using her and then leaving like it was nothing. He instigated the whole thing, something she should have stopped but it was hard. In the moment all she could think about was how much she had missed him. This was becoming a pattern, of breaking up and making up, except this time the making up had only been sex to him. The more she thought about it the more the tears fell uncontrollably and she didn't know what to do to make it better.

She heard a knock on the door and slowly got up to get it. After drying her face and eyes and straightening up her shirt she pulled it open.

"Katie, what's wrong?"

Her mother was standing there, dressed in her work clothes with her briefcase in hands. She dropped it to the floor and in an instant was pulling her into a tight hug. After a long hug her mom grabbed her arms separating the two and began to look her over from head to toe.

"You don't seem physically hurt so what's going on baby?"

The tears came harder, and the sobs louder. Johanna took her daughters hand pulling her to the couch to sit next to her and then puller her daughter down to lay with her head on her lap. She started playing with Kate's hair and trying to calm her down.

"Katie, take a few deep breaths and tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can fix it."

Kate's cries started to settle as she took a few deep breaths.

"Mom, I slept with Josh." She said, as if she was embarrassed but more disappointed in herself.

"Okay… Well, honey I know that you all have been sleeping together for years, so why exactly was this time so different?" Johanna was trying to push for answers but she didn't want Kate to feel attacked by her questions.

"He doesn't love me anymore, I could tell. He was so rough with me, he was disconnected." She replied.

"Rough with you? Kate did he force himself on you?"

"No…No," she stuttered. "I was a willing participant, but when we first started…. Ya know," she shrugged her shoulders and looked towards the ceiling.

"having sex?" Johanna said it, because clearly Kate was very uncomfortable.

"Yes, mom, having sex," Kate rolled her eyes. "He was just really rough with me, I don't know, I told him he was hurting me and he stopped."

"You want me to talk to Josh? I will, or I can have your dad say something."

"NO! This conversation never leaves this couch, mom. There is more to the story, that I have to tell you before you find out another way….. Mom, I've been seeing someone else kind of. I mean I've gone on a few dates with him, nothing too serious but I know that when he finds out about this that he won't want to be with me." She was sobbing through her words. The tears wouldn't stop, only growing stronger as she talked about Castle.

"Katie let me tell you a story…. When I was about your age I had a very serious boyfriend that I had been dating for years. We broke up and like you and Josh, we went back and forth for a while. I met your father not long after and we clicked pretty quickly, became good friends and were seeing each other pretty often. We weren't dating, and had no commitment to each other. Otherwise this would have never happened, I promise. Anyways, your dad and I had been going through a little bit of a transition phase. We didn't really know what we were and when I talked to him about it he seemed unwilling to commit to me. So that night I went out with my friends and I saw my ex boyfriend out and ended up going home with him, and sleeping with him. I felt immediate regret over the situation, and I beat myself up about it for a week. I was ignoring your dad because I had felt so much guilt. Eventually he showed up to my house, begging to talk to me. I couldn't lie to him, so I told him what had happened and how I was feeling about it. He was pretty mad about it at first. I gave him a few days to cool down before I called him, and when I did, he picked up on the first ring. From that day on we never went another day without each other. He forgave me and I know that it must have been the hardest thing for him to do, but he did…." Johanna continued to brush Kate's hair away from her face, over and over again.

"I don't want to tell him. I like him so much, and I know, I just know that when I tell him that he won't want to see me ever again. I don't think I can deal with that Mom. I can't lose him already."

"Katie, if this boy has any of the same feelings for you as you do for him then he deserves to know."

Her mother had always been her go-to, and Kate hid barely anything from her. No subject was off limits and Kate loved that about her mom. Johanna Beckett was a workaholic but it was only because of her need to make the world a better place. Kate always knew that her mom would come running when she needed her most, and today was one of those days. Kate thought about the story her mom had told her and decided that she would tell Rick what happened, and that even if he tried to push her away, she would still try to win him back.

"He isn't really a 'boy', mom." Kate said, a little under her breath.

Johnanna looked down at her daughter lying on her lap and gave her a look of intrigue.

"Kate, how old is he, and what is his name?" she barked at her daughter.

"Calm down, he is only 26, and his name is Rick, Rick Castle." She replied, a blush springing to her cheeks at the mention of his name.

Her mother looked away and back at her quickly. "Rick Castle? Katherine Houghton Beckett, you are not pursuing a 26 year old famous author."

"He is the sweetest man, and he has a daughter who is so beautiful. I know that you and dad are going to be against this, but I really like him, and I can't stop thinking about him. How this will affect him, because I know that he feels something for me. We have a connection. I don't know what happened this morning, mom. I haven't even been missing Josh very much. He was just there and we were fighting and then next thing I know, we are making out, and one thing led to another."

"yeah, yeah, I know, stop talking about it, you're still my daughter ya know." Johanna said as she scrunched her face up.

"So, I have to tell him, right?" Kate asked, and her mom responded with a simple head nod.

**Goodbye to all the lost readers after last chapter. I'm not deleting my last chapter, that's absurd. This is the story I set out to write and I'm going to finish it and if you stick around, you'll love it. **

**I wanted to start writing fanfiction, because I truly felt like I was reading the same story over and over again. That's no fun to me. This is suppose to be fun, and just because its not like everyone elses doesn't mean its bad. At the very top of every chapter is a little note that says this is completely AU and that everything you already know about these characters is wrong. I am borrowing these characters for my own story. So my Kate, is not Marlowes Kate, and neither is my Castle. I hope you all stick around and give this a chance. I am really just trying to entertain here, and if it's not your cup of tea then I totally respect that. If it is, then buckle up. **


	11. Chapter 11

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 11

Johanna took the rest of the afternoon off work, and spent it cuddled up next to Kate on her couch talking about Rick. Kate told her mom everything about how they met and about her decision to pursue him on her own. Johanna was shocked to hear about the arrangement; even scolding Kate a few times about how she wasn't an escort, and how being arm candy was not considered a modeling job.

Kate's parents had been pretty strict with her growing up but when Kate graduated high school, against her parents will she moved out on her own. Her parents were not at all pleased with her decision, mostly because they feared that Josh would also be spending the majority of his time at their house. After a while they got use to it, but there were many weeks were they didn't speak because they'd only argue about the decisions she had been making. Her parents didn't agree with her modeling career, and thought that she was too smart to not focus all of her time on her studies.

When 6pm rolled around Johanna had to leave, she had dinner plans with Jim, she invited Kate along but she wasn't really in the mood and didn't have much of an appetite. She kissed her mom on the cheek before she left and settled back in on her couch. The silence was deafening but she didn't want to be bothered by noise, she didn't know how long she sat there, but she knew it had been a while, because the sun set and the moon came out. Her mind was flooded with worry as she thought about how to tell Rick what had happened and how she could convince him that it would never happen again. She decided that she would tell him in person when he got back home from Chicago, and until then she would try to avoid him.

He called that night, and Kate didn't answer. She sent him a text telling him that she was busy and that she would talk to him the next day. Day after day she found an excuse as to why she couldn't talk to him. Rick knew something was up with her, and he couldn't figure out why she would be ignoring her. Then the day came for him to fly back to the city. He had text Kate early that morning, letting her know that his flight would be in around noon. Kate decided that the sooner she got this out of the way the better so she agreed to meet up with him. Knowing that she couldn't tell him in a public place, she invited him to her apartment.

When she heard him knocking on the door she went to answer it. Pulling it open she saw a worried face, she knew that he knew something was up. By the look on her own face she was certain that she wasn't easing his mind about everything.

He leaned in, giving her a peck on he cheek as she ushered him in.

"You sick?" he asked.

"No, just a rough couple of days." She replied.

"Missing me that much?" he teased

"Rick, I need you to sit down, I have to talk to you."

He looked nervous as he walked toward the couch, taking a seat on the edge.

He rolled his eye, "What's going on Kate?"

"Don't hate me, please, just whatever you do, please don't hate me…" She was shaking as she walked towards him. "I really care about you and I just want you to know that." She said, her voice starting to shake more and more.

She took a deep breath, and as she exhaled she spit it out. "I had sex with my ex boyfriend."

His eyes met hers and she could tell that he was shook. He had not been expecting to come back to news like that. He started nodding his head as if he was forcing himself to understand it.

He took a minute to sort his thoughts before speaking. "So you slept with him, when, exactly?" He asked.

"The morning you left, when I came home, he was here, and he started kissing me and next think I knew we were having sex and I immediately began to regret it. He wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you."

He didn't say anything, just looked down at his hands and started to fiddle with his fingers. He was speechless, and couldn't really get his mind around what she was saying.

"Rick, Say something."

His head shot up and she thought she could see a hint of redness starting to appear in his eyes.

"Kate, I don't know what you want me to say, I don't really even understand. I thought that we were fine, I thought that we were both on the same page. Could you not wait for me to be ready, were you that fucking horny." He said, the anger building inside.

"It wasn't like that, really. I don't know how else to tell you that it didn't mean anything to me. I wont have any contact with him again, I promise, you don't have to worry about it happening ever again. " She was pleading with him to give her something.

"Kate, I just really think that I need some time to digest this. One second I am so excited to come home so I can see you, so I can kiss you and the next you're telling me that I was gone for a whole hour before you fucked your ex boyfriend. I know we aren't dating, and I know that we haven't been intimate yet, but I was under the impression that this was something that you were taking seriously." He got up, not waiting for a response. Turning as he approached to the door, and looked back at her….

"Rick, just call me…. Please" She was pleading, tears pouring from her eyes, her body shaking uncontrollably..

"I'll call."

She nodded, it was something, he was giving her something. She knew that this wasn't going to be easy to fix, but there was hope and that's all she could really ask for at this point. When he walked out the door she knew that she had to allow him space, so she decided that she was going to focus on bettering herself for him. She was going to do whatever it took to win him back.

As the weeks went by Kate heard nothing from Rick. No text messages, no phone calls. Christmas and New year came and went and she figured he must be busy with Holiday festivities. He probably hadn't had much time to call, or maybe he didn't plan on calling at all. On New Years day Kate was online reading a celebrity gossip website when she came upon a picture of Castle and Gina sharing a New Years kiss. Her stomach dropped when she saw it, she couldn't believe that he was seeing Gina now. That could have been her, she could have been the one kissing him at midnight. If only she hadn't been so selfish, so stupid. She hadn't stopped beating herself up about what had happened that day with Josh. Her mom had noticed that she wasn't doing well and suggested that she started seeing a therapist. So that she could talk to someone about all of the things she was going through.

On the day of Kate's first appointment she tried to back out of going. She tried to make excuses about how she didn't need to talk about it anymore, that she had gotten over all of it. If her mom hadn't caught her crying the night before she might have believed it. Kate had been trying to put on a brave face, but Johanna knew her daughter, and she knew that her heart was filled with sadness.

When Kate walked into Dr. Burkes office she sat silently in the chair across from him, not knowing where to start. She couldn't really form words to describe what was going on inside her head, inside her heart so she sat silently.

"Kate, we have to start somewhere. You know I am here to help, so let me help you." Dr. Burke was very laid back, very welcoming, but it was still hard for Kate to open up.

"I don't know where to start, I try not to think about it. I have anxiety attacks all the time over it. I still don't know where to go from here, what I need to do next. I have to get him back, I have to show him how much I care."

"You sound like you know what you want to do, so what is it that's stopping you?" He asked.

"I don't know where to start. I cant just show up to his house, I can't just call his phone, he wont answer." She responded.

"Well that's something you're going to have to figure out. You have to start somewhere. So what if he doesn't respond positively immediately. I think that if you are persistent enough and handle it the right way, eventually he is going to give you the chance to speak. Be ready when he does, know what you're going to say."

"There is nothing that I can say… How does someone forgive a cheater."

"You cheated?"

"yeah, with my ex boyfriend. I mean Castle and I weren't exclusive, we weren't dating. I think what hurt him the most is that I had shown him so much attention, and told him that I wanted him, and then I slept with Josh."

"You clearly made a huge mistake, but everyone makes mistakes Kate. He can be mad at you, he has the right to be. If he refuses to talk to you, that will be his choice, but you have to try. And most importantly you have to stop beating yourself up over it. It happened, accept it, because you can't go back and change it. You already know that, so move on from it. Find a way to be happy again, find a way to forgive yourself. If you cant forgive yourself then how do you expect him to forgive you?' he asked.

"I don't expect him to, I cant even imagine how hurt he is."

"Well don't imagine it, ask him, make him tell you, even if he yells at you, make him do it to your face. Emotions bring out the best and worst of everyone. When emotions are high anything can happen. If he feels anything for you, then I bet he will give you the chance to talk, because he wants to know why. If he cares, he wont ignore you."

Burke was right, if Kate wanted him to talk to her then she had to make the first move, she had to contact him. If he responded at all then she might have a chance, and if he didn't, then nothing had changed and she would have to learn to accept it.

**I'm so glad there are so many people out there that are passionate about this story, in negative and positive ways. Hate it, or love it, review it. Let me know where your heads at, why do you feel the way you do about what's going on.**


	12. Chapter 12

**This story is completely AU. So everything you already know about these characters and this show is wrong. I'm basically borrowing these characters for my own version of their love story. **

**Is a disclaimer necessary? If I were Milmar you all would get every Caskett wish you ever wanted! :)**

Chapter 12

That afternoon when Kate got home from her appointment with Dr. Burke she cuddled up on the couch with one of Castles books and a cup of coffee. She loved his books, and had become so obsessed with them over the past month or so that she had almost read all of them. She was doing anything to be close to him, but she knew that eventually there would be no more books. As she sat on the couch she went back and forth between wanting to call him and wanting to forget about him altogether. She was always trying to forget him, to shove him into the back of her mind, but no matter what she did, she couldn't escape him. She pulled out her phone and went to his contact. Her finger hovered over his contact for a few minutes while she gathered the courage to hit the call button.

After two rings he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Rick."

"Hey…" He said cautiously, like he was unaware of why she might be calling. "Can I help you with something?"

"You didn't call."

"Well, I really didn't know what to say, or if I wanted to say anything." Rick was calm, but she could tell that he was still angry with her.

"I know that what I did was stupid Castle, and I know that I have made so many mistakes. I don't expect you to forget about what happened. I don't want to make excuses for myself, but I'm begging for a chance to talk to you about all of this. I know I don't deserve…." Kate stopped talking as Castle interrupted.

"Okay." He said.

"Okay?" She questioned, not quite understanding what he meant by a simple okay.

"I'll talk to you about it, but not now. I'm about to take Alexis out for ice cream. Maybe sometime this weekend we can meet up and talk."

"Yeah, sounds perfect? When and where would you like to meet?" She asked nervously, trying to push him to set a place and time to meet.

"I don't know, Kate, I'll let you know…" He was annoyed.

"Okay. Well I'll let you go. Have a good day with Lex, tell her I said hi."

"Bye, Kate." He ended the call immediately.

Kate didn't know exactly how she was going to do this, win him back. Rick had already given her another chance and Kate had a feeling that this time wouldn't he wouldn't be as easy to convince. She had messed up terribly, and regretfully. She couldn't take back having sex with Josh. She had to make Castle understand that what she did was not meant to hurt him at all. She had been in a relationship with Josh for years, and it was easy to give into him. Just because they were broken up didn't mean she didn't care for him, she just didn't want to be with him. She made the mistake of letting things get out of control after Josh kissed her. It was a moment of weakness for the person that she had once cared so much for. That's all it was though, a moment of weakness, a moment that would never happen again. She had only had contact with Josh once since that day, over text message. She told him that what had happened was a mistake and that she didn't want to see him again. He agreed that it was a mistake and apologized for showing up to her apartment in the first place.

Kate woke up on Saturday morning, well afternoon around 1 to a text from Castle. It was his first time reaching out to her, and before she read the text message her heart rate had already quickened. She was nervous to open it, but happy that he had actually made contact. She had been having so much anxiety over whether or not he would actually go through with meeting with her.

_Dinner, tonight? Alexis is staying with a friend, and I think it's best that we talk privately._

_-Castle_

Wow! Dinner? She was expecting a cup of coffee maybe, not dinner. The thought of being alone with him during this conversation made her nervous. Maybe he wanted them to be alone so he could yell at her, so that if the conversation got heated that he wouldn't have to watch what he said. Either way Kate knew that she had to play by his rules. She text him back asking what time to be there, and went ahead and got in the shower.

As Kate approached the door, she stopped to look herself over, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

When he opened it, his face didn't break. He didn't seem happy to see her at all, which immediately feel like she should just leave. Running from this situation would be so much easier, but she knew that it would only make this worse. She had been missing him, she had been miserable and she had to do something to fix things. Even if he didn't want to be with her she wanted them to be friends.

Rick ushered her in, pointing towards the kitchen where she could see that he was in the middle of cooking dinner.

"Hey," she awkwardly said as she passed him, heading towards the kitchen.

"Hi." He responded.

"Thanks for this, Rick."

"Yeah, well…."

That was his response? She was beginning to get annoyed with him. If he didn't want her here then why did he invite her? Why would he make it seem like he was willing to talk, willing to fix this situation. If he wanted nothing to do with her why would he just say so, and they could both move on. Before Kate sat down at the bar she over at him. He was moving about the kitchen grabbing things from the cabinets. Ignoring everything about her, he had been short with her the whole time she'd been there already.

"Listen, Rick, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to. I was under the impression that you were willing to talk." She said, throwing her hand on her hip, demanding a response of some kind from him.

"Kate, I invited you over here for dinner. You'll get your chance to talk but can we get comfortable first? Maybe let me finish dinner?"

She sighed knowing that she was pushing to much, too fast. "Sorry, I'm just really nervous."

"Well, don't be. Being nervous about talking to me is not going to make this easier Kate." He was stirring the sauce furiously, taking out his anxiety on the spoon.

She walked around the counter to stand by him, stilling his hand by placing hers over his on the spoon.

"Let me?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll start the salad." He rushed away, heading towards the refrigerator.

When dinner was ready, the table set. Kate took a seat, and placing her napkin over her lap. The fettuccini smelled amazing, and she couldn't wait to eat. She had been so nervous all day that she had skipped eating altogether. Now she was sitting in his loft, with the man that she couldn't get out of her mind, about to have an amazing home made dinner. She was dreading the conversation that she knew she had to have but at least it would be done in a calm setting, where they had the privacy that would be needed.

"Rick, this smells great," She said as he approached, placing a plate in front of Kate and then taking a seat across from her, placing his on the table.

"It's my favorite food, a comfort,"

Did he need comfort for this? Was this weighing on him as much as her? 

"You can talk whenever ya know." He said, trying to force her to start the conversation.

"yeah… I don't really know where to start. I' ve tried to plan out what I might say, but it's not that easy." Kate let out a sigh, looking down at her pasta. Her stomach was empty but her appetite was gone all of a sudden. She placed the fork down on the plate and looked up at him. The tears were already forming, and she was trying to hold them back, to stop them.

"I'm sorry," she said as she stood from the table, running to the bathroom.

About 10 minutes had passed since she ran from the table, but she couldn't go back. She couldn't face him like this, her face eyes red and swollen, her makeup ruined by tear tracks. She sat on the toilet seat with her face in her hands trying to calm her breathing when she heard him knock softly.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked

"yeah, I'm fine." She responded, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

She heard him reach for the doorknob and turn it. It was locked.

'let me in,"

"No. I'll be out in a little bit." She was trying harder now to keep him away.

"Kate, you wanted the chance to talk to me, I have given you that. I invited you over for dinner, and when I ask you to talk, to speak up, you run away. How is that fair? Is that what I deserve?"

"No, Rick, you deserve the best, and I am not the best. I can't believe how much I've screwed up. I am so sorry for putting you through this, but I think I should probably just go," She was now crying heavier, fighting the tears to get her words out.

"Kate open the door," he said as he wiggled the knob again.. "KATE.."

She didn't say anything, she just flicked the door unlocked, leaving it closed. He heard the door unlock and opened it, walking in and kneeling before her where she was sitting on the toilet seat. He placed his hands on her thighs to get her attention. She looked up at him, her eyes completely swollen. There was no way to hide that she had been crying.

"Kate, stop crying, I'm not mad at you. If I were mad at you, I wouldn't have asked you over, I wouldn't have made you dinner. I know that this is hard for you, imagine how hard this is for me. I feel like you're being a little selfish here, which isn't completely out of character for you at this point." He wasn't teasing, he wasn't being mean, he was just being honest.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I don't want to put you through anymore of this. I just can't stop crying, I'm a coward, and I ruin everything." She said, drying her tears from her face.

"You aren't a coward, you're here right?"

'Yeah… I guess."

"Well then lets go back out here and eat this amazing dinner I made you, and lets talk about this, like adults."

He stood up, offering his hand out to her to pull her up from where she sat.

They sat and began to eat in silence, each stealing a few glances, surveying the situation but remaining quiet. Kate couldn't help but watch him, study him, she was trying to find the words, but she wasn't having any luck. She took a bite, put her fork down, and leaned back in her chair, placing her hand on her stomach and rubbing circles to settle it, she was stuffed already, pasta always did that to her.

"You full, already?" he asked.

"Yeah," nodding. "Rick, why did you invite me over for dinner?" she asked.

"Because you asked to speak with me and I figured that we could do it over dinner. Alexis would be gone, and we would have the privacy to actually talk."

"But, why? I don't deserve your time, and I certainly don't deserve all of this." She spread her arms over the table, displaying the wonderful dinner that lay before them. 

"Kate, I know you didn't do what you did to intentionally hurt me. Did it hurt me? Yeah, it did, and I'm not going to lie, I haven't moved passed it. The more I think about what happened, the more I understand that you didn't really do anything to me at all. You and I weren't dating, and we weren't even sleeping together. I mean it was a few dates right? Well, except the night you stayed over. Point is, you were free to do whatever you wanted. Does it upset me that you chose to do that.." he squirmed, mentally disgusted with the thought of her with someone else. "It hurts, it sucks, but it doesn't make me feel any different towards you. You're still amazing, and funny, and smart. You are still Kate, and you make me feel something that I've never felt before, and I think you feel it to. I hope you feel it to."

Kate nodded furiously, a smile forming on her face, "yeah, I feel it"

"I don't really know what's going to happen, between us, I don't even know if there will be an us, but I know that I can't just let it go, let you go. I've decided that I want to give you another chance. I am going to put the past in the past, and I want to start fresh. That being said, I still have a lot of reservations about all of this, and I think we should take things slow. I also don't want to bring you around Alexis anymore, not until I feel like I can trust you not to hurt her." He was being serious, but she could feel the tension disappearing.

"Slow is good, I need slow. What happened in the past was because I didn't take things slow. I should have given myself more time than two days to move on from Josh. To deal with all my emotions about him, and decide on what I wanted. It was irresponsible and immature, and now I have had that time, and I'm ready. I'll give you all the time and space you need." She stood up from the table rounding it, reaching her hand to him and pulling him up from his seat. She threw her arms around his waist, pulling his body tightly against hers in a hug. It took him a minute but he slowly embraced her body, squeezing it tight against his own.

Castle kissed the top of her head and then laid his cheek flat on it.

"Don't fuck this up again please." He joked, letting out a laugh as he said it.

"What I did isn't funny, and I don't want to joke about it, Rick," She pulled back, Taking hold of his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "Nothing like that, will ever happen again. EVER, I promise."

"Okay, good, because this is your last chance," he was stern about it. She didn't care though, because she wouldn't need another chance, she was going to prove to him that this was all going to be okay.

**Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I am on spring break in fabulous Las Vegas.**

**Thanks for the nice messages from some of you.**

**Also, I don't mind negative reviews on the story, if you are voicing your likes, dislikes, concerns about the story, I can deal with that. I appreciate it. This is my first story and I will learn as I go. Don't talk bad about me as a person or call me a slut because I made Beckett sleep with her ex boyfriend of a few days. This story is fiction. I am not fiction. I am a real person, with a real life, and a wild imagination. If you enjoy this fic, review, leave love. Everyone have an amazing week, and how awesome was that Castle episode last night. I loved the ending, and the sweet Caskett moments.**

**I'll try to update as much as possible this week, but it will be a bit slower. When I return home, it will be back in action.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Things had been moving slow between the two of them. Almost three weeks had passed since they began seeing each other again. Their time together had been limited due to Kate's heavy class schedule and Rick couldn't really sneak away from Alexis to see her. They had mostly settled on lunch dates, which were absolutely fine with both of them. Kate enjoyed being able to escape school for a little bit to sit with Rick and eat, or chat; sometimes they did a lot of both. She could feel him starting to loosen up around her. She didn't want to overstep her boundaries so she let him lead the way.

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon for Kate, she had spent the morning doing laundry and cleaning her apartment. She had finally settled in on the couch to watch tv when she heard a knock on her door. She hadn't been expecting anyone and when she opened the door she was shocked to see Rick standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

"Hey" she said, a grin spreading from cheek to cheek.

"Hey, these are for you," he said, handing her the bouquet of flowers.

She pulled them up to her face inhaling the beautiful scent of the dozen red roses he had shown up with.

"What are these for?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to surprise you, stop by and say hi, you busy?" he said, looking past her into her apartment.

She stepped aside ushering him in the door way, "No, just being lazy about to watch some tv. Thank you for the flowers, they're beautiful Castle."

He spun around watching her walk into the kitchen to put them in a vase. He eyed her up and down, studying her, and when she looked up and caught him he looked the other way as if he was embarrassed by his own ogling.

"You look beautiful today," he said, looking towards the living room, and then back at her.

She ran her hands through her hair, trying to fix the tousled pieces that she knew were all over the place.

"You're sweet, but I look like a mess. I wish you would have told me you were coming, I would have showered or done something with myself."

He took her hand pulling her into a hug, "Then it wouldn't have been a surprise, right?"

She giggled, wrapping her arms tight around him, unwilling to let him go. "Right. I'm happy you came, I've missed you." She said, tilting her head up to place a soft kiss on his lips. One in which he returned, deepening it a bit. She opened her mouth to allow him entrance and he obliged, sliding his tongue inside. As soon as they broke for air, Kate let out a giggle.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing, you just make me feel like a little kid sometimes."

"I kiss like a little kid?"

She slapped him on the chest, breaking contact, "No, crazy. I love your kisses, and they are in no way childish."

The truth was Kate loved it when he returned her affection towards him. She could never read him, sometimes he was okay with being affectionate, other times he rejected it completely. Kate took a seat on the couch first patting the space next to her for him to take. He took a seat, cuddling in close, and wrapping his arm around her.

"Where's Lex? Shouldn't you be with her? Not that I'm disappointed that you're here, because believe me I could really use some time with you."

"She is spending the day and night with my mother. I think she could tell I needed a break so she gave me the whole day off."

"I would love to spend the whole day with you, but I kind of have plans tonight with my best friend Lanie, and her boyfriend Javi. You are more than welcome to join, we were just going to dinner. I am sure that Lanie would love to meet you."

Rick didn't respond immediately, she could tell that he was thinking, but couldn't quite read him.

"I mean you don't have to come, if you're not comfortable."

His head shot back towards her, and pulling her closer into his side he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I would love to come, I just don't want to impose."

"Don't be silly, I want you there."

"Well if you want me there, then I want to be there."

"Good, it's settled then, you're coming."

As they walked into the dimly lit restaurant, Kate immediately spotted Lanie sitting at the bar next to Javi, and as she approached she could tell she had interrupted an argument. 

"Hey Lanie,"

"Hey girl." She said, standing to give Kate a hug.

Kate looked back at Rick as the hug broke, "Lanie this is Rick….. Rick, Lanie."

The two shook hands Lanie's eyes widening, giving Kate a knowing look.

"So this is the handsome author Kate has told me all about."

"You've told her about me?" Rick looked towards Kate.

"Of course I have, Silly." Kate gave him a smile and a shoulder bump.

"She never mentioned just how handsome you really were though, holding out on me I assume because she wants you all to herself."

Lanie turned around slapping Javi on the shoulder, getting his attention immediately.

"Javi, stop being so rude, this is Rick."

Javi stuck his hand out, shaking Castles hand.

"Hey, dude, wanna sit, have a beer, let those two do their thing."

Rick nodded, "yeah, of course, sounds perfect."

Rick took a seat next to Javi at the bar and ordered a beer. Meanwhile Lanie and Kate took a seat at a small table not far away.

"Sooo, spill. Things must be going well if he is here with you, right?"

Kate smiled, showing her excitement over Rick's decision to come with her, showing that he was becoming more comfortable with being with Kate.

"Honestly, I was surprised when he agreed to come. He has been distant, which I cant blame him for, but he's been getting better and I think things are only going to get better for the both of us."

"Have you heard from Josh anymore?"

"No, he has left me alone, which is surprising but I'm glad. I don't know that things would be able to progress for Rick and I if Josh were still pursuing me. I've been working really hard to give Rick his space and let him lead with what he is comfortable with, and it's been challenging at times. Mostly because we don't really get to see each other that much because he has Alexis, and he still isn't comfortable with me being around her I guess. I don't blame him, I screwed up, not him."

"Well, coming from someone who has a very bumpy relationship, it is all worth it. Javi and I struggle everyday in our relationship. You know how much we fight, and disagree, but at the end of the day, he is there, laying right next to me."

"Well Rick isn't ever laying next to me at the end of the night," Kate let out a deep breath, looking over at the writer, enjoying his beer with Javi. They looked comfortable, like they were enjoying each other's company.

"Still, nothing?" Lanie asked.

"Nope. Nothing. We barely kiss, I mean, he hardly ever initiates it, I do. He wants to take it slow in that department, and that's fine, but kissing doesn't count right?" Kate looked back at Lanie, searching for her friend to agree with her.

"I mean, if you're asking me, intimacy is intimacy, and kissing is intimate. I think he is afraid of being intimate with you after what you did, and rightfully so. If someone had done to me what you did to that poor guy I would be hesitant too."

"I mean he was willing to give me a chance, which means that he has to feel something for me, right? How long is he going to punish me though?"

"Punish you? He's protecting himself, Kate." She explained. "If he didn't have real feelings for you, he wouldn't be here right now. He wouldn't have ever given you a second thought after he found out about Josh. Give him his space, and time, and everything will work out for you all. You might have to put in extra work to gain his trust again, but if you care about him as much as he has already proven to care about you, then you'll do what you have to do."

Lanie looked up and over Kate's shoulder, drawing Kate to turn around as well. She saw Rick walking towards her, taking a seat right next to her.

"So Javi and I were talking, and thought that maybe you all might want to go ahead and order, we can eat here and then take this party back to my house and drink, seeing as you two are underage. That way we can all have fun, and you all won't want to kill us here in a few hours when you're prying us from our barstools."

Kate gave Lanie a look and with a nod in return and no words exchanged, "I think that sounds perfect." Kate said, grabbing Rick's hand under the table and giving it a tight squeeze.

Javi joined them at the table, they ate and drank, and by the end of the dinner both men had developed quite a buzz. Rick covered the ticket for all for all of them, Lanie and Javi thanking him profusely, and Kate gave him a more private thank you. A sweet kiss as they walked out of the restaurant.

"What was that for?" He asked, a little shocked by her public display of affection.

"Just because you're amazing, and I appreciate you being so nice to my friends. You didn't have to do that, pay for everyone's meals." She said as she took his hand in her, giving it a tight squeeze and pulling him close to her as they walked down the sidewalk. Lanie and Javi walking behind them. Javi was a little bit tipsier than Rick, and he couldn't keep his hands off Lanie.

"I know I don't have to do it, but I can afford to take care of those things."

"I know you can, and we all appreciate it very much, but you don't have to do that every time we go out. Okay?"

"Okay….."

"Hey," she stopped, pulling his arm to a stop as well. "Thank you though, for dinner, for being such an amazing man, for treating me so good, even though I haven't done anything to deserve it. But I am going to make it all up to you, and I am going to do everything in my power to be everything you need me to be, or want me to be for you. Okay?"

"Kate, you are already everything I want you to be. You fucked up, we are both aware of it, but I'm not dwelling on that anymore, and you shouldn't be either. Lets leave it in the past, and not revisit it again, ever. Got it?"

She nodded, and they started to walk again. They didn't talk the remainder of the walk to his loft, but he held her hand tightly. When they walked into the loft, both Lanie and Javi were in awe. His apartment was huge, nothing like most New York apartments they had seen.

"Rick, this place is amazing," Lanie said, walking around checking out every nook and cranny of the living room.

"Thanks, make yourself at home. I'll grab some booze and a deck of cards and we can play a few games."

After a few rounds of Ring of Fire, and a few too many drinks, Kate's legs were thrown over his lap, hands around his neck as they sat on the couch. Lanie and Javi noticed that it was getting late and decided that they should probably go ahead and go.

"Rick, Kate, I think it's time for us to head out." Javi said in between kisses from Lanie. Everyone had had quite a bit to drink and they were all a little handsy.

"Don't be silly, you all. I have a guest bedroom upstairs you all can stay in. No need to leave, we've all had too much to drink.

"You sure, dude?" Javi asked.

"Of course, second room on the right when you go up the stairs."

They both got up and started up the stairs, hands still groping each other as they did so.

"Well, looks like they worked whatever they were fighting about out." Kate said, watching them turn the corner up the stairs.

"Yeah, alcohol can be the best thing for an argument or the worst thing."

"I'm getting a little tired, I don't mind sleeping out here, but I'm gonna need a big blanket and pillow to keep me company." Kate said through a yawn.

"Don't be silly, you're staying in my bed." Rick pulled her tighter to his body as she sat on his lap, peppering kisses up her throat and up over her jaw.

"Rick, We've both had a lot to drink and you're already a little handsy, not that im complaining, it's just unlike you. I don't think it's a good idea." Kate explained.

"Kate, it's fine. I want you in my bed, fully clothed, but there. I wouldn't mind a little make out session with my beautiful, sexy girlfriend."

She knew that he had been drinking, but he had seemed fine before, now he seemed to be more under the influence then she first believed. She pulled back from his attack on her neck.

"Girlfriend? Hey slow down,"

He only pulled her tighter, running his hand up her neck into the back of her hair and pulling her into a deep kiss.

"Is that okay? If I call you my girlfriend?" he said as he finally pulled back from the kiss.

"I don't know if now is the time for us to have this conversation either, you're drunk and I don't know what you really mean and what's alcohol induced." She explained, looking away trying not to get emotional.

He loosened his hold on her, freeing her to move as she wished. She slid off his lap to sit next to him on the couch.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

She could see his mind running when she looked over at him.

"Don't be sorry, lets just talk about it another time, okay?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I do want you to sleep with me though, I might be a little drunk, but I can be a gentleman and I would really like to snuggle with you tonight."

"Okay, I can do that, but if you try to make any moves on me, I'm back on this couch, got it?"

"Got it!" he said enthusiastically.

He stood up, pulling her up with him and they retreated to his room. They both crawled in, both making their way to the middle of the bed and wrapping themselves around each other.

**Vegas has been a little out of control. I'm surprised that I am even alive to write this. **

**I am currently on my death bed after 5 days here, and I still have three more. **

**AHHHHHH!**

**Also, whoever reviewed my story just to tell me that they enjoy the reviews more than my story….. If that's what you do with your spare time, and it gives you joy, have at it. Of course I would prefer positivity but it's the internet and people can be really mean. I choose to only respond to positivity for my own sake. I read every review and I am trying to make everyone happy, but it's hard. **

**Thanks to all that are still reading and reviewing. **


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kate woke up the next morning to a very loud snoring man. She flipped the covers down, running to the bathroom, dropping to her knees in front of the toilet. After emptying her stomach into the toilet she splashed some water on her face and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

She made it to the kitchen to find a note from Lanie, thanking them for a great night and telling Kate to call her after she woke up. As she stood in front of the sink, chugging glass after glass of water, she heard the front door open. She immediately froze, not knowing where to go. She debated making a run for it, wondering if she could make it back to Castles room unnoticed, but before she knew it two red heads had made their way to the kitchen.

Kate was standing there in a pair of Ricks boxer shorts and a sleep shirt of his when she made eye contact with the older red head.

"Oh, hello dear."

"Uhhhh, goodmorning," she whispered, slightly embarrassed and feeling as if her parents had just walked in on her and her boyfriend.

"Martha, my name is Martha, I am Richards mother, and this," she said pointing down to the tiny red head to her side.

"Is Alexis," Kate smiled, bending down before her, tickling the little girls stomach,

"Hi, Kate."

"Oh the two of you have met? I assumed…." Martha stopped speaking the moment she heard footsteps behind her.

Rick was walking from his bedroom dressed in only his boxers, eyes closed, rubbing his forehead.

"Kate, babe, I need a glass of water and two aspirin."

Kate coughed, and his eyes flew open. He stumbled a bit, shocked to see the two red heads at the loft so early.

"What time is it mother?" he asked,

"Just after 9, I assumed you'd be awake already and I have a class to get to so I thought I'd go ahead and drop the munchkin off."

"You should have called,"

"I did, no answer. I assumed you were, uhhh, writing, but you were clearly sleeping off a hangover."

Rick picked Alexis up, throwing her over his hip and planting a big kiss on her cheek.

"How's my baby girl this morning?" he said, walking her over to the bar and sitting her on a stool.

"I'm hungry daddy, why is Kate here so early, and why is she wearing your clothes."

Ricks eyes flew to Kate, searching for a little help. Kate just shrugged, not knowing what to say.

"Kate forgot to bring night clothes so I let her borrow some of mine."

"Why was she staying the night?"

"ummmmm, well, Lex, she is my friend and she needed a place to stay."

Kate let out a giggle, covering her mouth with her hand to try and suppress it. She pointed to his bedroom, and made her way back in to get changed.

"Why couldn't she just stay at her own house?"

"Lex, that's not really your business, that's grown up stuff, you shouldn't be worrying about grown up stuff."

Alexis gave her gram a look, wondering if she might be able to give her something, but the woman just threw her arms up, "Hey, I don't know any more than you do kid. I am an innocent bystander." She gave Alexis a kiss on the cheek, and picker her purse up off the counter, "I gotta run, I'll see you two later."

As soon as the door shut behind Martha, Kate came out of Castles room, fully dressed in the clothes she had worn over the night before. She made her way back to the kitchen.

"Hey, Rick, I'm gonna go…" She said, avoiding eye contact with Alexis.

Rick walked over to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her close. 

"Don't be silly, stay for breakfast." He said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"No, I shouldn't, I don't want to…."

"Don't want to what? It's okay Kate, she's already seen you here, if you leave now she will only ask a million more questions. You might as well be here to help answer them."

She nodded, "If you want me here,"

"I do, now come on. Have a seat next to the princess and I'll make pancakes."

Kate took a seat next to Alexis at the bar. Alexis was eyeing her up and down, like she was searching for some type of answer.

"Are you my daddy's girlfriend?"

"uhhh," Kate looked to Rick for help.

"Yes, Alexis, she is my girlfriend, now stop asking so many questions. I already told you that you shouldn't be worrying about adult things."

"Well, if she is dating my daddy I should know."

Kate's eyes snapped back and forth between the two. She was confused, was this really happening right now? Rick had called her his girlfriend last night and she told him they should talk about it sober. Well, they were sober now, was this them talking about it?

"You're right pumpkin, I should have told you before. Kate and I are seeing each other again, is that okay?" he was asking permission from his four year old. Kate didn't know if it was cute, or annoying. Who asks a four year old for permission for anything.

"I like Kate, so it's okay."

Rick gave Kate a wink, acknowledging that they had the all clear.

Rick made pancakes and eggs, and Alexis cleared her whole plate in a hurry.

"Whoa, did gram forget to feed you?"

Alexis let out a sharp giggle, eyes widening, "im was just really hungry, can I go play?"

Rick stood up, grabbing his daughter from the barstool that she was sitting on, "Of course, but remember, you get a toy out, you put it back up."

Alexis nodded, and hurried off towards the stairs.

"I have never been a kid person, but she is the most precious thing ever." Kate said, watching Alexis tiny legs climb the stairs.

"She is trouble, that's what she is. She is too smart for her own good."

Kate turned back towards Rick, who was sitting right next to her. She leaned over giving him a peck on the cheek and sliding her hand up and down his thigh.

"You feeling okay this morning stud?"

"If by feeling okay you mean I want to lay in bed all day with my girlfriend, cuddled up watching movies."

"There's that word again, girlfriend." She sighed, not knowing how to properly approach the situation. She wanted to be his girlfriend, but she also thought that maybe it was something that they should talk about.

"Well, what are you if you aren't my girlfriend? He asked, almost annoyed that she was even making this into a big deal.

"First of all, calm down," grabbing his hand, bringing it to rest on her lap intertwined with her own, "I don't mind you calling me your girlfriend but I think that its appropriate for us to discuss this. We have only been seeing each other for a few weeks, I just want to make sure that you're ready for this…. I mean, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to feel pressured into putting a title on this."

"A title? Kate, really. I think we are both old enough to agree that when two people are seeing one another exclusively that they are dating? Is that wrong of me to assume? "

"Of course not. You are the only man I want, and I'm fine with us being exclusive, and I'm fine with being your girlfriend. This is just all so confusing to me, because I feel like I don't deserve this from you yet, I feel like I still need to prove myself to you."

"Kate, stop it, we have already talked about this. I don't want to talk about the past anymore, and every time you bring it up my blood pressure rises. Nobody wants to think about another man touching his girlfriend, so for the last time, seriously, drop it. I'm not holding it over your head, and you shouldn't be holding it over your own head."

His voice was raised, and a little agitated. The last thing she wanted was for him to be mad at her, but she was struggling with the guilt of what she had done. She didn't know how to move past it, and every time Castle tried to move past it, Kate would bring it up in some way. She knew that she had to leave it in the past, move forward from her mistakes, but she didn't know how to.

"I know you aren't holding it over my head, and believe me I wish I could let it go, but I feel so much guilt about it. I feel undeserving of everything you do for me, or say to me. I think I should probably talk to me therapist about it, maybe he can help me move past it."

"You're seeing a therapist? Not to pry, and you don't have to answer, but is everything okay?"

The look of concern over took his look of annoyance.

"Everything's fine, I started seeing him after everything happened with Josh and you. There were days that I wouldn't leave my bed, and my parents were getting a little concerned. Our sessions were always about you, and dealing with what had happened. He is the one that encouraged me to reach out to you, and it worked. We are together now and happy, right?"

He leaned over, placing a hard kiss on her lips, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, deepening the kiss into a full make out.

Breaking apart, both gasping for air, "I am so happy, babe." He said, rubbing his thumb over her swollen bottom lip.

"me too" she whispered, eyes closed soaking in the moment.

Rick insisted that Kate spend the day with him. She wanted to go home and shower and change into her own clothes, but he refused to let her leave. Throwing out his bottom lip every time she suggested she leave. She finally gave up, compromising on staying until the evening but insisting that she had to sleep at her own apartment tonight. She had class early in the morning and needed a good night sleep.

They ordered in pizza for lunch at Alexis' request, Kate was not opposed, finding the greasy pizza necessary to nurse her hangover. They finally wrestled the active four year old down for her nap, before crashing on the couch themselves.

"Exactly how much did we drink last night Castle?" She asked as they lay cuddled up on the couch, both on the verge of dozing off.

"Well Javi and I polished off a whole bottle of whiskey and you girls did a number on a bottle of Vodka."

"oh gosh, I think im gonna be sick just thinking about it." Kate sat up, placing her hands on Castles chest to hold herself up.

"Not handling the hangover well?" he said, yanking her body back down on top of his, where there faces were right in front of each other. He placed a soft, teasing kiss on her lips.

"I don't drink often, I hate being hungover."

"Yeah, me too. I don't get many nights off to drink anyways. So when I do, sometimes I drink too much."

She laid her body fully over his, resting her head on his chest.

"At least you're a snuggly drunk," she said, teasing him about being so touchy the night before.

"Snuggly? One day you'll see the other drunk side of me, and you wont describe it as snuggly." He was joking, but he meant what he said.

"Is that a promise?" she said, lifting up to meet his eyes, giving him a seductive grin.

"Don't look at me like that or you'll be finding out a lot sooner."

"I'm not the one who is opposed to finding out. You're the one holding out on me."

What started off as flirtatious banter was turning into a more serious conversation causing Castle to sit up right. Pulling Kate over to sit next to him.

"I just don't know if we are ready for that, Kate. It's not that I don't want to, I just want to make sure that we are heading in the same direction before we have sex. I mean you're only 19, are you sure you're ready for that."

"Yeah, I'm 19, but I'm hardly a virgin. I've been having sex since I was 16, yeah it was with one person, but it's not like I'm going to freak out on you after we have sex. In fact, I can't wait to have that bond with you. I know that it will be perfect, and you will make sure it's perfect, and that's why I'm ready. "

Castle was quiet for a moment, trying to process everything she had said.

"If you're ready, I think I'm ready, or almost ready."

"Yeah?" Kate asked, throwing her arm over his waist, curling into his side.

"Yeah…" he placed a kiss on her head. "Well, what about birth control?"

She let out a deep breath, knowing that this was a conversation that they needed to have. "I'm not on birth control. Josh and I just always used condoms."

"Right. Well would you be opposed to getting put on birth control. Just as a precaution. I mean I love Alexis but I don't want to have anymore kids until I'm married."

"I mean I'm not opposed, I use to be on it, but it made me really sick all the time, so I stopped taking it. I'm sure that I can talk to my doctor about a different kind maybe, and we can find something better for me than before."

"Okay, good, well, when the time comes I think that we should use both forms of birth control, just to be safe. So make an appointment with your doctor sometime this week."

"Okay, I'll call first thing in the morning."

**I guess I don't understand why people who dislike this story continue to read it.**

**Everyone else, I hope you like the direction this is taking, and please review. I love hearing from you all. :) **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

As Kate sat on the exam table waiting on her doctor she couldn't help but think about the last time she was in this room. She and Josh had always been pretty careful when it came to sex, but last year she did have a pregnancy scare. Josh had freaked out on her when she told him that she had missed her period, but the test had come back negative and all was right between them. Since then they had always used condoms. As Kate sat there thinking about birth control and how important it was it dawned on her that she and Josh hadn't used a condom the last time they had sex. It was rushed and very emotion driven, and she couldn't believe that it was just occurring to her. Her mind started to race, thinking about her period and when she should start. She had always been a little irregular but after looking at her calendar she realized that she should have started sometime last week.

The door cracked open and Dr. Lee gave a small knock before asking if she could enter. As soon as Dr. Lee made eye contact with Kate she knew something was wrong. Dr. Lee had been Kate's OBGYN since she was 16 and she started having sex.

Dr. Lee walked straight over to Kate, placing her hand on her shoulder, "Kate, what's wrong?"

"I think I'm pregnant!" She whispered, a single tear escaping her eye.

She went to brush it away immediately, trying not to show any emotion.

"Okay, so you came in today for a preganacy test?"

"No, actually I came to be put on birth control and while I sat here I just started thinking about my period, and it hasn't started yet. I think im pregnant, and I don't know what I'm going to do about it."

"Well Kate, it's not like you don't have a supportive boyfriend, right? I mean you and Josh have been together for years, you all would be fine."

"We broke up."

Dr. Lee didn't quite know what to say so she began to rub small circles over Kate's back.

"Okay, well I'm sure he would still be supportive. It would be his, right?"

"Yeah, it would be, but I have a new boyfriend now, and I would lose him in a heartbeat. We haven't been dating long and I've already put him through enough."

"Okay, well stop freaking out, everything is going to be okay Kate. We are going to do a urine test and see what the results say before we freak out anymore, deal?"

Kate nodded, because words were hard to come by right now.

About thirty minutes later Dr. Lee came back into the exam room where Kate still sat on the table. She had given her urine sample and they had taken it to test it.

"Well, guess what? It was negative. See, there was no reason to panic, you're most definitely not pregnant. There could be many reasons you're late. Like you said you and Josh broke up, and stress is the number one reason women miss their period or have irregular periods. However, today we are here for birth control and that will solve all of our problems. You won't have to worry about getting pregnant, and it will also help regulate your period. I also recommend that if you do plan on being sexually active with someone else, which I assume you either are or plan on being, use condoms as well. Being completely safe is always the best way to go."

"That's why I'm here. I mean he already has a daughter. We haven't, ya know, had sex yet. We wanted to make sure that we were completely safe before we even took that step."

"Good. You're making the right choice by being prepared. I just want you to remember that birth control can be very effective if used properly, which means you take it every single day, around the same time, and continue to use condoms as an extra precaution. I know you're only 19 and having a baby is not something that you are wanting right now. I don't know anything about your boyfriend, but do not let him ejaculate inside you under any circumstances if he is not wearing a condom."

"I understand, and he is responsible. He is the one that suggested I come in and be put on birth control so that we didn't just have to rely on condoms. "

"Okay, well I will write a prescription, and remember to read all of the instructions so that you understand all the precautions and how to properly use it.

Kate felt extreme relief after leaving her doctor. She wasn't pregnant, and she wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant any time soon. She was excited about being intimate with Rick, but even happier that they would be completely safe.

Later that night Kate went to the loft for dinner. Rick and Alexis had invited her over for home made pizza and a movie. It was Alexis' turn to choose and they were watching "The Jungle Book"

It didn't take long before Alexis was passed out on Ricks chest. He carried her up to bed, tucking her in, and kissing her goodnight.

He made his way back to the couch with two glasses of wine and took a seat next to Kate on the couch.

"How was your doctors appointment?" he asked, placing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her in tight to his body.

She took her hand placing it on his thigh and began to rub small soothing circles, "It was good, everything is great and she put me on birth control. So we have the all clear on my end."

"All clear, eh?" he teased, leaning in to pepper a few kiss over her cheek and down her jaw, sneaking his lips onto her neck.

She turned meeting his lips with her own and opening her mouth to allow his tongue access.

As they broke away, Ricks eyes widened in a suggestive way.

"I'm ready Rick, if you're ready, then I'm ready." She said, placing soft kisses on his lips over and over again.

"I'm ready, too. So should we take this to somewhere a little more private?" he asked.

Kate nodded seductively, not breaking eye contact. She stood from the couch, extending her hand to him to lead him into his room.

As they made their way through the door, Kate went straight for the bed, sitting on the edge. Rick made his way towards her, dropping to his knees in front of her to help her undress. He started with her shoes and socks, and as he started to unbutton her pants, she fell backwards on the bed, making it easier for him to rid her of her pants. As he pulled her pants down over her hips he placed small kisses on her pubic both. Kate was already starting to feel the tension build in her middle and all she wanted was for him to touch her more.

After tossing her pants behind him, he kissed his way up her right leg, taking it in his hand and pulling it over his left shoulder. He then took his thumbs, hooking them into the side of her underwear and pulling them down her legs, lifting her leg off his shoulder to completely pull them off. He kissed his way up her thigh, stopping when he got to her center; he ran one finger through her folds, and then two.

"Baby, you're so wet already."

"Castle, stop talking."

He decided to listen, so he took his fingers and slid them through her heat a few more times before he plunged one finger in and began to use his tongue on her, after a few moments he thrust another finger inside, and the sound of pleasure she let out only increased his intensity. He went to work, pumping his fingers into her repetitively as he used his tongue on her clit, occasionally replacing it with his thumb to rub small circles over her swollen nub.

"Castle, I'm about to come."

She took one of her hands and ran it through his hair, increasing his intensity and right before she came he removed his fingers from her heat and plunged his tongue inside her. That's all it took and Kate was pulsating around his tongue, letting out a scream, that she had to silence with her own hand. He continued to rub small circles over her clit as she came down.

When he noticed that her breathing had slowed, he stood and started to work on the buttons of his shirt. Kate laid there watching him undress, still coming down from her orgasm. She began to work her way up the bed, positioning herself so that she was laying with her head on the pillow. She watched him rid himself of all of his clothes and then he slid in beside her. He pulled her in for a kiss that she broke quickly. Moving down the bed she positioned herself between his legs. Taking his length in her hand she began to slowly twist and pump, after a few slow pumps she took him into her mouth slowly working in unison with her hand to create a quicker pace. He placed his hand on the top of her head and began to guide her movements. Kate's eyes were locked on his, and he had never been so turned on in his life. He could feel his orgasm building, so he lifted her head from his shaft and pulled on her arms, pulling her up his body. She made her way up his body, straddling his hips, when their lips met.

Rick broke their lip lock to reach over into the bedside table to grab a condom. He pulled one out opening the package, but then Kate took it from his hands placing it at the tip of his shaft and rolling it down over him. He almost lost control just watching her take control. She then placed herself above his shaft, taking it in her hand and rubbing it through her heat one time before plunging down onto him.

"OH MY GOD" he said, his eyes slamming shut, "You feel so good."

Kate lifted herself, and then plunged back down, over and over, setting a fast pace for them. Ricks hands were gripping her hips tightly helping her movements. He couldn't help but use a little force to plunge into her every time, taking the intensity to another level.

"Oh my god, Rick, I'm about to…."

Before she could finish her sentence he had flipped them over, Kate now lay on her back, hips spread wide as he deepened their contact, thrusting harder into her every time.

"Wait for me." He said as he set a pace of short fast thrust, when he was almost there he took her hand in his, running them down her stomach to her swollen nerve bundle, and she led his fingers as they slowly circled her clit, catching her up. As soon as he felt her inner muscles begin to pulsate he let go, spilling inside of her. Collapsing on her chest, both of them trying to catch their breath. She rubbed her hands up and down his back, up into his hair, until he passed out on top of her. Eventually she passed out as well, not even bothering to move out from under him.

**Vegas was amazing! I didn't want to leave the city or any of my friends. Sorry I didn't update much while I was gone, but now I am home and I will try to update every day again. Thanks for the kind reviews, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When Kate woke up the next morning, she was in Rick's bed, alone. She pulled the blankets up over her naked body and a smile spread over her face at the thought of what had happened in this very bed the night before. It was perfect, he was perfect, and she couldn't imagine it being any better than it had been the night before.

Interrupting her thoughts, Rick couldn't help but chime in after seeing the smile on her face.

"Why are you so happy?" He asked, coming to place a warm cup of coffee in her hands as she sat up against the headboard.

"Because I woke up exactly where I want to be." Pulling the cup of coffee up to her nose and inhaling. "mmmmm,"

"Because of the coffee or are you thinking about me"

That drew a giggle from her, as her eyes reopened and brought their focus to him.

"A little bit of both." She smiled, "Rick, last night was perfect," as she sat the coffee on the bedside table next to her, scooting her body closer to where he lie in bed and wrapping her arms around his stomach.

"Yeah, well you were perfect, in every way. It was worth the wait." He placed a single kiss on her temple, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her as close as possible.

"I fell asleep still inside you, that's never happened before, with anyone."

"Yeah, well we were worn out."

"I know I was," wiping his brow with his hand, "Whew, hard work getting us to come at the same time."

"Oh, but well worth it, right?"

"Yeah, it was well worth it." he winked, wrapping his hand around her jaw and leaning her head up towards his own to capture her mouth in a kiss.

Kate's phone beeped from the bedside table so she picked it up, sliding her text over. It was from Myra, reminding her of a photo shoot she had this afternoon. Rick stole the phone out of her hand, going to the camera app, snapping pictures of her to annoy her.

"Give it back," She threw her body over his grabbing for the phone.

"Ohh, I like this position already. He snapped a photo of the lower half of her body, where she sat on top of his already stiff erection. She ground down on him, spreading her wetness over him. He continued to snap a few pictures as she leaned over, grabbing a condom from the bedside table, removing it from the package and sliding it over his shaft, she then rose above him, taking him in her hand, and sinking down on top of him.

His hand shot out to steady her hips, "Whoaa, slow down if you want me to last."

She grabbed her phone from his hands, sliding it over to video and focusing it on his face. She hit the record button and began to ride him. "I don't want you to last."

He placed both of his hands on her hips, helping her rise and fall fast over him, he ignored the camera, her fast pace quickly became too much for him to handle, he pulled down on her hips, grinding his pelvis into hers and spilling into her.

She hit the end button, threw her phone down to the bed, and laid down on his chest.

"That was the best good morning, ever." He said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Tell me about it."

He pulled her hips up off of him, removing himself from her, and rolling her to the side. He slid the condom off, tossing it into the trash next to his side of the bed.

He grabbed her hand, "Lets go shower, and then eat some breakfast, I'm starving"

As they exited the bedroom, they both noticed little Alexis sitting on the living room couch, copy of a Dr. Seuss book sprawled across her lap. They both stood and watched her quietly from behind the couch. Every minute or so she would let out a giggle. She couldn't read yet, but the book had been read to her so many times that she had it memorized.

"Mornin' Lex," Kate said, after catching a case of Alexis' contagious giggle

Alexis' head whipped around to where Kate and her dad stood, "bout' time you grown ups wake up."

Rick let out a gasp, pretending to be shocked at Alexis' little attitude. "We needed our beauty sleep."

"You did, not Kate, she's always beautiful." Alexis shot back.

Kate bent down and gave Alexis a kiss on the cheek, whispering not so discreetly, so that Castle could hear. "I'll give you a dollar later for that," pulling back and winking at Alexis.

Alexis was lost on the comment, but Rick wasn't. "So, now you're bribing my daughter, eh?" Tugging her arm, pulling her body back next to his and wrapping her in a hug.

"eww, gross, too much touching," Alexis hands flew up over her eyes, making both of the adults take a step back. As soon as her hands lowered off of her eyes, Rick leaned over and gave Kate a big wet kiss on the cheek.

"EWWWWWWW,DADDDDYYY!"

"Oh Lex, one day you'll be kissing all over some boy and I'll be trying not to kill him."

"No, never, I only kiss my daddy." A smile spread across her face.

"Lets keep it that way munchkin" Rick gave her a pat on the head.

Alexis nodded her head, jumping off the couch and heading to the kitchen, "I want cereal daddy, please."

Kate was the first to go after Alexis, heading towards the cabinet to pull out the cereal. Rick watched as Kate poured Alexis and herself a bowl, taking a seat next to the small girl. They were chatting away about The neighbor across the halls cat and how it was always on the loose in the hallway. Kate couldn't help but laugh at Alexis dramatic storytelling. Rick felt a huge relief that the two of them got along so well, and that Kate was so receptive to Alexis.

Kate looked back at him as he watched the two of them, "Are you going to join us, or are you just going to creepily stare at us?" she teased.

"Oh, I'm starving, so I'm joining. What would the two of you like to do today?"

"Well, I actually have a photoshoot this afternoon so I wont be able to hang out."

"Well, Lex, that leaves you and I, what do you wanna do?"

"Park, Daddy, Park!" Alexis said excitedly.

"Park it is, baby girl."

As Kate walked to the subway station to head to her photo shoot, she decided she should call Lanie to check in with her, since they hadn't talked all day the day before. Kate started the phone call with a shriek, "Ahhh, we finally did it. 

"How was it?"

"It was perfect Lanie, both times. He is perfect and amazing, and so, sooo good." She wasn't exaggerating. Sure she had orgasmed with Josh, but not every time and it was never as good as last night, or this morning.

"Well you sound happy, and very satisfied."

"He's the one Lanie, I just know it."

"Whoa, slow down Becks, you all just started dating."

"I know, and I'm not saying we are going to get married tomorrow. I mean I don't even know how he feels about me honestly. I mean I can feel it from him, but we haven't discussed it. I just know that this is the man I'll marry, one day, in the far future."

"Yes, the far, far future," Lanie repeated.

"Oh stop it Lanie, cant you just be happy for me. I am finally away from Josh, and happy with someone else."

"Kate, believe me, I am thrilled that Josh is out of the picture, but I want you to be careful. You aren't ready to just jump into another serious relationship. You met Rick right after you all broke up. You didn't give yourself any time between the two,"

"Yes I did, even though it wasn't my choice, it was because of a horrible mistake. That mistake, however, made me realize how important Castle was to me. I know I just met him and you don't understand it, but you're not there, you don't know what it's like when its just the two of us, alone."

"I get it, I really do. Javi and I have our problems, but there is no one in the whole world that makes me feel the way he does."

"Right? See, I never had that with Josh. I loved him, or thought I did I guess. I just loved him in a different way. The way I love Rick, it's unexplainable."

"Whoa, Whoa, Love? Kate you can not possibly love him."

Kate sighed, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk, "Yeah, you're right, I can't love him already, right?" questioning herself aloud.

"I think maybe you need to talk to him Kate, make sure he feels the same."

"Lanie, I can't tell the man I love him. We just started sleeping together, he'll freak out on me."

"Not if the feelings are mutual."

"Lanie, I can't do that. I'm not going to put any more pressure on this relationship. I've already done enough damage in the past. I don't even know if he is all the way past that, I can't just tell him I love him because we had sex."

"Is it just because you had sex?"

"Well, No. I've kind of known since the moment I met him that he was different, and now I just love him, and I can't control it."

As Kate approached the studio she told Lanie goodbye, storing her phone in her purse. She went to hair and makeup first, and during her fitting she couldn't help but notice that the sample sizes were all too tight on her. Some of them she couldn't even get on.

She was sent home from the shoot because none of the outfits fit her. She immediately called Rick as soon as she got to her apartment.

"Hey!"

"Rick, am I fat?"

"Excuse me?" he said, a little shocked by her words, "Why would you even say that Kate, you're tiny, and beautiful just the way you are."

"I got sent home from a shoot, my clothes didn't fit."

"Well, why didn't they just fix the clothes."

"That's not how it works! I got measured for this shoot two weeks ago Rick, It's my job to maintain my size."

"Okay, well calm down, we can't do anything about it now, but we can start eating healthier. It would be best for the three of us anyway."

"Well, I'm going to the gym right now. I can t believe I couldn't fit into my outfit. I'm not leaving the gym until I physically cant run anymore."

"Kate, don't be silly, over doing it wont help the situation either."

"I have to go, Rick." She hung up immediately, without waiting for a response from him. 

She dialed Lanie's number, and she picked up on the first ring, "Girl. I thought you had a shoot."

"I couldn't fit into my wardrobe. Do you know anyone that has Adderall I can buy from them. I need to stop eating, and I need to start working out immediately."

"Yeah, I can get it, let me make a few calls."

**Didn't get many reviews on the last chapter, you all still there?**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

When Kate walked into the loft later that day, Lanie was sitting on the couch next to Rick. They both turned their heads towards the door and went silent. Kate's eyes went back and forth between the two, waiting on someone to say something. She knew that she was in trouble immediately.

"Kate, I think you should sit." Lanie said, patting the couch next to her.

Kate moved towards the couch, taking a seat at the very end, as far as possible from either of the other two in the room.

"Look, Kate, I don't want you to be mad at me, but I was concerned, and I didn't know who else to talk to that you might listen to."

"Oh, you didn't." Kate's forehead landed in her hands as she shook her head profusely. The embarrassment spreading across her face.

"Kate.." Rick stood up, walking over and kneeling in front of her. He took one of her hands from her face, placing it into his own and squeezing, "Don't be mad at her. She did the right thing."

The tears started to fall quickly, "You don't understand, it's my job to be perfect."

"You are perfect, babe." He said, running his hand down her cheek, lifting her jaw so that she was forced to look at him. "You are absolutely perfect to me, and if you aren't comfortable with your body then we can do something about that, but we're going to do it the healthy way. Taking un-prescribed medicine is dangerous."

"It works," Kate whispered.

"KATE I DON'T CARE IF IT WORKS!" his anger was starting to come out. "You and Alexis are the most important people in my life, and I will do anything to protect you and keep you safe. This is not an option. I'm not giving you a choice."

Her eyes never broke from his the whole time, but her eyes grew full of tears, waiting to break down her cheeks.

She nodded, "I know, and you're right. I freaked out about not being able to fit into the clothes."

"Baby, there are safe, healthy ways to lose weight, not that you need to. You are already skin and bones."

"You're just saying that because you want to get laid later," she let out a giggle.

"No, I'm saying it because I think you're perfect just the way you are, and if someone else disagrees with that then I have a problem with them."

"This isn't your problem at all, I can deal with it."

"I am making it my problem. I have already cleared out all the junk food from the pantry, and the ice cream from the freezer. We are all going to eat healthier in this house."

"Rick, you don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, but lets be serious," he said, rubbing his belly, "I've gained a little happy weight too from this relationship. I think I could stand to eat a few more fruits and vegetables and a lot less mint chocolate chip ice cream."

She poked him in the stomach, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close, planting a big kiss on his lips. "I love you, ya know." Immediately regretting letting the 'L' word slip out, "I mean, I didn't mean love, I.. I…"

"Hey, it's okay, I get it." he said giving her another peck on the lips. "We'll talk about it later, in private."

They both looked towards Lanie, who had sat quietly during the whole conversation.

"Oh, what? Now you all want to acknowledge my presence?"

They all three started laughing.

"I told you, when its just the two of us, it's different," Kate said, a smile spreading across her face.

"How different?" Rick asked, throwing a smirk in Kate's direction.

"It's just me and you, baby," she said, throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for a tight hug. She planted a big kiss on his neck. "Thank you for caring so much, and for not letting me be stupid." She released him, looking towards Lanie, "You too, for ratting me out before I even had the chance to be stupid."

"Hey that's what friends are for, right?

After Lanie left, Rick and Kate decided to take a walk to pick Alexis up from pre-school. They approached the gates of Marlowe, holding hands, when Rick saw a paparazzi out of the corner of his eye, dropping her hand immediately and forcing distance between the two of them.

"Whoa, what's wrong?"

"Paparazzi."

"Huh, where?" Kate started to look around, easily finding the unhidden paparazzi across the street.

"I hate it when they do this, I've asked them so many times to please stay away from my daughters school."

Without saying another word, Kate took off across the street, headed straight towards the paparazzi.

"Dude, this is private property, and what are you doing taking pictures across the street from an elementary school, are you some kind of pervert?'

The paparazzi just laughed, pointing his camera at Kate and snapping a few shots.

"You're absolutely disgusting, you piece of shit. I don't care if you take pictures of me, or my boyfriend, but leave his child out of it. She is four, and you're going to scare her."

The man gave her no response, except to continue to take pictures of her, so she turned her body, walking straight back towards Rick. As she neared him, she got a running start and threw herself at him, arms around his neck, legs wrapped around his waist. She started to passionately kiss him, right in front of the man and a few other parents. After a minute or so, she released her hold on him sliding down his body back on to the pavement.

"What was that for?" Rick questioned, rubbing his hand across his swollen lips.

"Attention, now maybe he will leave us alone."

Sure enough a minute or two later the paparazzi was gone.

"I guess it worked, but the other parents don't seem to pleased. Look at them."

Kate started to look around at the other parent's, they were all glaring in her direction.

"Oh well, I'd rather them give me hateful looks, then some scary man with a camera follow Lex around. I mean seriously, it's crazy to me that they are allowed to take pictures of small children. She is four years old, what could they possibly want with a picture of her?"

"They want a reaction from me, well that's what I'm assuming."

"Well they got more than they were looking for I assume, and now their gone. Hope you don't mind." She said, giving him a wink, and a slap on the butt.

"That my girlfriend just marked her territory in what will be tomorrows front page news? No, I think I can handle it." he smirked at her, grabbing her around the waist pulling her in close and dragging his hands over her butt.

She embraced him, wrapping her arms around his body and laying her cheek on his chest. "You make me happy, ya know."

"Yeah, I'm fully aware of how happy I make you according to your slip up earlier."

"Rick, about that, I know we haven't been seeing each other long enough for me to be throwing that out there, and I'm not taking it back, I meant every word, and I won't take back how I feel about you. I don't expect you to return it, but I meant it, even though it scares me to death to admit it to you."

"I'm glad you're not taking it back, and maybe I'm not ready to say it back yet, but I will be able to one day, and I'll mean it. That okay?" he kissed her temple sweetly, making it known that he wasn't going anywhere.

"It sounds perfectly fine to me. Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting." She squeezed him tighter.

The bell rang and the teachers began to exit with their kids in single file line.

When Alexis saw her dad and Kate she took off running for them, sliding right by her dad into Kate's waiting embrace. Kate lifted the little girl up, placing her on her hip.

"How was your day Lex?"

"The best, and now you and daddy are here." She kissed Kate on the cheek.

Rick poked the little girl in the side, "No kisses for your dad?"

"Sorry daddy." She reached for him, practically diving into his arms and planting a huge kiss on his mouth.

"That's better, but you're too big for me to carry." He placed her on the ground, grabbing one of her hands, and she reached back with the other to grab Kate's hand. Kate made eye contact with Castle, a huge smile spreading over her face. She didn't know how this had happened all of a sudden but she felt like everything that had happened in the last two months had been worth it. Castle, was an amazing man, and she loved him, and his daughter.

"Daddy are you and Kate going to get married?"

Rick froze in his steps, "What? What makes you ask that?"

"Well, Lauren's daddy is getting married to his girlfriend."

"Is he? Well why does that mean that Kate and I have to get married?"

"You don't, but I want you too."

Kate's eyes hadn't left the sidewalk; she was wishing that she was somehow invisible with the blush that had crawled up her neck onto her cheeks.

"Well Kate and I are not getting married, Lex. Not anytime soon. We just started dating, can we have a little time to date first?"

"Not too long."

"Ohhhkay, I think this conversation is one for adults Lex, not for four year olds."

"I'll be five soon Daddy."

"I know pumpkin, and i promise that you will be the first to know if I am getting married, deal?"

"Deal."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Hey, Kate," Rick said walking into her bedroom as she was packing her bag for their weekend getaway to the Hamptons.

"Do you think we can drop back by the loft, Alexis is already freaking out about us leaving and I thought it would ease her mind a little if we stopped by and said goodbye, and maybe took her a gift."

"Rick, you're her parent, if you want to go say goodbye to her you don't have to ask me for permission. Plus, I would love to give those chubby cheeks a kiss before we leave."

Rick stepped in behind where she stood at her dresser, rummaging through her underwear drawer to pick out lingerie to take with her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, nudging her hair from her neck with his chin and began to suck on her neck.

"If you're wanting to see your daughter before we hit the road you better stop that right now." She teased, knowing that any mention of Alexis would put a stop to his advances.

"Really, Kate, you know how I feel about you mentioning Alexis when I'm trying to seduce you."

He backed away from her, turning to take a deep calming breath. She turned after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him into her body. Wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his chest, and then his neck.

"I like to tease you, watching you get worked up over me is my favorite thing."

"If you like to tease so much, may I suggest you skip the underwear drawer all together. You wont need those anyways. I plan on having you naked the entire two days."

They swayed from side to side, almost at a slow dance, "I thought you were going to take me out, show me around, wine and dine me, and then seduce me."

"I can do that too, but I'd rather keep you all to myself."

Ever since Kate's public display of affection in front of the paparazzi in front of Alexis school last month Rick had been hesitant to go anywhere too public with Kate. Kate had begun to worry about whether or not he was embarrassed of her or if something else was going on.

"Rick, we will be in the Hamptons, you don't have to hide me away."

"Hide you away, what are you talking about?" he pulled back from her, noticing her gaze was directed at her feet. He pulled her chin up to look into her eyes. "Kate what do you mean by that?"

"It's nothing.." she turned and walked back to her dresser, grabbing a few pair of underwear and a bikini.

"No, its something, and you're going to tell me what it is before we leave here."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Kate, we agreed that we would communicate, that we wouldn't hide things from one another."

"I'm not hiding anything."

She finished zipping her bag and headed toward the bathroom, he followed her in as she threw her toothbrush and toothpaste into her makeup bag. Leaning against the door frame, he watched her uneasiness build as she held back what seemed like a lot of frustration.

"Well, then don't bother packing, I'm not going on the trip anymore," he turned and walked out of the bathroom, out of her bedroom and went straight for the couch where he plopped down and grabbed a magazine from the table.

She didn't chase after him, and that made him even more nervous. After ten minutes or so he went back into her room to look for her. She was sprawled across her bed, facedown into the pillow. He walked around the bed, laying down next to her.

He brushed the hair away from her face, forcing her to look towards him. Her face was stained red from the tears.

"If something is wrong with you and you're not telling me about it… how am I suppose to fix it?"

"You're not suppose to, it's my problem, my mind wont stop fucking with me, and I'm trying my best to let it go."

"Okay, stop beating around the bush and tell me what's up."

He pulled her body close to his, her head resting on his chest, arm thrown over his stomach.

"I just feel like you're embarrassed of me. You don't ever want to take me out to places that we will be seen. It's like you're hiding me away. Are you seeing someone else?"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Kate shot back, creating distance between the two of them.

He pulled her back in, "I thought you were kidding, of course I'm not. When would I have time to be seeing someone else? I see you every single day, and you practically live with me Kate. You would know if I was cheating."

"Maybe, I'm just creating this whole thing in my head."

"Obviously I am doing something that is making you feel this way, so why do you feel like I'm trying to hide you away?"

"You never take me out to dinner at fancy restaurants, or out on the town, and you basically just told me you didn't want to take me out in the Hampton's."

"I just like being alone with you. I cant do inappropriate things in public, and you know how inappropriate I like to be." He said, tickling her side, drawing a laugh from her.

"I am well aware. Maybe I'm being a baby about it."

"No, you're not being a baby. If you want me to show you off, then I will show you off. Have you seen yourself lately? All this working out and eating healthy has made you even more smoking hot then you were before, and you were already pretty perfect."

She shoved her hand at his chest, "STOP!"

"It's true, plus I see you're confidence in the strut of yours, you are well aware of the affects you have on men on the street."

"Rick, shut up, I don't even pay attention."

"Oh, don't give me that, you know exactly what you're doing when you switch those hips." He stared off into space thinking about.

"I do not switch my hips, what are you talking about."

"So.. you mean to tell me that you just naturally walk like that."

"I don't even know what you're talking about, but I am a model, so its probably just my natural walk."

"No, it's your confidence walk, it's all the long, late night work outs we've been doing" he gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Okay, just drop this, it's making me uncomfortable."

"okay, okay, but only if you promise me one thing,"

"What's that?"

"That you will stop being insecure about our relationship."

"Insecure, I am not insecure Castle."

"Oh, it's Castle now?"

"IM NOT INSECURE"

"Wow, you are insecure, aren't you," he teased.

"Am not."

"Whatever you say." He raised back, giving her a confused look.

"Okay, maybe I am, but you're….. you, and then I'm just a 19 year old girl, who is barely a working model."

"So this is about social standing?"

"No."

"Is it about our age difference?"

"No. of course not."

"Well, I'm confused then."

"Yeah, I think that's my problem too. I'm just confused. I don't feel like I deserve you. I don't feel like I could possibly be what you want. You're a best selling author, with a beautiful daughter, and an awesome life."

"My life is only awesome because I get to share it with you and Alexis, all the other stuff, I can do without."

She sat up on the bed next to him, looking at those beautiful blue eyes that she had fallen in love with the moment she laid eyes on him.

"I love you Richard Castle, and you and that perfect child of yours make me the happiest girl in the whole entire world. I don't know what I would do without the two of you. Seriously. Even on my bad days, when I might be feeling a little insecure," she rolled her eyes. "I just think about you, and how I get to curl into bed with you at the end of the day. I think about how we make love, and how I didn't even know how it felt to be so taken care of before. You are truly amazing, thank you for being my person, for being such an amazing friend, boyfriend, and lover." She leaned in kissing him passionately; pulling back he immediately pulled her back in for a kiss, rolling her over, so that she lay under him.

"Quickie, before we leave?" she said, smirking up at him.

"No quickies, I want to make love to you."

"We don't have time, babe."

"We will make time." He slid his hand down inside her leggings, and under her underwear, one finger making its way between her folds, "looks like you're ready to go already."

Both of her hands flew down to her sides, working on pulling her pants down and off her legs. Once her legs were free of pants, she started on his pants, pulling his boxers down with his jeans, his length springing free and grazing her stomach.

His pants slid off his feet, hitting the floor at the end of the bed as she wrapped her legs around his body, grabbing his ass with one of her hands. He ran his length through her heat a few times, making sure she was ready before sliding inside of her slowly. He began to pump into hard and slow, trying to prolong both of their orgasms, but both of them were building quite fast.

"I know that you want this to last, babe, but I don't think I can wait, and I want us to come together." He said, increasing his pace.

One of her hands slid between them to work on her swollen bundle of nerves, his pelvis bone creating more friction with every pump. "I'm almost there, harder."

He didn't ignore her request; he sped up, and thrust with a lot more intensity, trying his best to make her orgasm first, knowing that hers would automatically set his off.

"Castle, I can't…." she screamed as her orgasm hit, her muscles squeezing tight around him still pumping inside of her.

His scream matched hers as his release came, spilling inside of her. Collapsing over her body, he nuzzled his mouth into the crease of her neck, peppering kisses up her neck, onto her cheeks, once their mouths met, she opened hers allowing his tongue to seep up over her tongue.

"I'm gonna take a shower, and then we can go say bye to Lex, Okay?"

He rolled off of her "Mind if I join?"

"Can you keep your hands to yourself?"

"I can try."

"Okay, come on."

She sauntered into the bathroom, knowing that he was watching her ass she threw an extra switch in her step.

"I knew you did it on purpose."

She looked back over her shoulder at him, "Only for you, baby."

**No one has really been reviewing anymore. I don't know if I've completely lost everyone's interest, or if they just don't like reviewing smutty chapters. Should I lay off the smut? I thought that's why everyone was reading, but maybe I'm wrong.**

**Anyways, review, let me know what you're thinking, or maybe what you'd like to see. I already have things planned out for them, but I can always add certain things that readers would like to see. **


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Even though they were running late, they stopped by the loft. As soon as they entered they heard loud crying coming from the kitchen, as they rounded the corner they saw Alexis laying in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"I WANT MY DADDY!" she screamed, kicking her feet into the ground hard.

"Alexis, dear, your daddy will be back in two days, he just left, can we just try and have a good weekend?"

"NO!" She shouted back.

"Hey!" Rick interrupted, shouting at Alexis, "You don't treat your gram like that."

Alexis sprung up from the ground and ran for Rick's legs, grabbing hold.

"Daddy, you came back for me."

He knelt down before her, so that he would be on her level. "Lex, I came to give you goodbye hugs and kisses. I even brought a gift, but I don't know that you deserve it after how you were treating your gram."

Her tear-stained cheeks were puffy, but he could see the regret in her eyes. She lowered her head, turning towards her gram and slowly walking over, wrapping her arms around her legs and giving her a hug, "I'm sorry gram, I really am."

Martha gave her a pat on the head, "It's okay darling, I know you were just missing your daddy."

The little girl nodded, releasing her hold on her grams legs to walk back towards her father.

"That's much better… Look at me Lex, I know that you really want to come with Kate and I but we need some grown up time, to be romantic, and lovey. You don't want to be around that anyways, right?"

She shook her head.

"We will be back Sunday afternoon, and you and I can spend the whole night alone together, sound good?"

"No!"

"No?"

"I want Kate there too."

"Well I am very sure that Kate would love to spend some time with you as well. Right Kate?"

Kate bent down beside the two of them, pulling Alexis in for a hug, "of course I would. I am going to miss you so much over the next two days, but you're daddy and I really need some time alone."

"But you are alone, all the time, you two sleep in dads room together alone every night."

"That's not the same, we want to be able to kiss in every room, and go on dates. We know how much it grosses you out when we kiss in front of you."

"I won't cover my eyes anymore, you can kiss in front of me."

They both let out little chuckles.

"Lex, we still need our time, but when we get back, you're daddy and I will spend all our time with you."

"ok" the flood gates were about to re-open when Kate unzipped her bag and pulled out a teddy bear.

"Look what we brought you. It's for you to cuddle up with while we're gone. You can only have him if you promise not to cry while we're gone. Teddy bears don't like to be around crying, they like to be around happy, smiling little girls," Kate gave her belly a little tickle.

"I won't cry, I promise."

"Well then he is all yours, but first.. I need a big hug and a big kiss."

The little girl flew into Kate's arms, wrapping her tiny arms around her neck and placing a big kiss on Kate's cheek.

"That's more like it. Now give your daddy a hug and kiss goodbye, and you can even call us tonight before you go to bed."

"I can?"

"Of course you can, you can call as much as you want, baby girl."

Rick sat and watched their exchange with a love struck look on his face. He knew that Alexis adored Kate, but he hadn't realized that Kate was completely in love with the little girl. It was amazing for him to watch, because Alexis had never had a real mother figure in her life. Meredith didn't visit often, maybe twice a year if that. Seeing their relationship blossom right in front of him made his heart flutter. The only other woman that he had brought around Alexis was Gina, and Gina made an effort with his daughter.

"We really should get going, Kate."

"Yeah, you're right, we are already running late." She gave Alexis another hug and stood up.

Rick said his goodbyes and they left.

Kate spent the whole drive napping, waking up as they rode up the gravel driveway. The sun was setting as they pulled up and the view of his Hamptons home was amazing. She almost couldn't believe that she would be staying here for the next two nights in her boyfriend's beach house.

"Castle, this place is amazing."

"I know, right?" he said reaching for her hand to help her out of the car. "Wait til you see the inside, oh and the pool, but most of our time will be spent in the bedroom, or the hot tub."

"I forgot my bikini." She shoved his shoulder, giving him a wink as she walked past him towards the front door. She turned around when she was halfway up the walkway. "I really hate it when you stare at my ass like that."

"I can't help it, I love your ass."

"Well if you ever want to see it up close and personal again you better come open this door for me, it's chilly out here."

He hurried towards her trying to play catch up, grabbing her hand as he passed her and pulling her along faster. "You are absolutely going to love it here."

After touring the whole house, and making an extra long pit stop in the master bedroom, they decided to bundle up and head down to the beach.

The weather wasn't bad, just a little windy, but Kate loved the beach. The sand under her bare feet reminded her of her childhood, going to Coney Island with her parents.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Castle asked, tugging on the hand that his was firmly wrapped around.

She had been looking out at the water, not paying much attention to him, "Everything, just how happy I am now. I was so miserable this time last year, and I know things are only going to get more difficult over the next few years. I still have a few lessons to learn, but I can't wait to see where we are next year, or the year after."

"Yeah, I think about that a lot too. You're only 19 and sometimes that scares the shit out of me, then other times I don't even think about it, I just think about that smile you have that is just for me. I love that smile. Or how when you wake up in the morning you throw yourself so close to me that you're basically laying on top of me, and usually naked might I add so it's like the best alarm clock ever. You make me pretty happy too, ya know."

"Do you think about our future ever, or if we have one?"

"Every day."

She looked over at him, pulling him to a stop. "Really?"

"Of course. On our really good days I cant stop thinking about it, but I also think about your age and how we both have a lot of growing up to do. We can do that together though, the growing up part."

"Yeah, we can. I mean I'm still a kid, and you pretty much are too, except you have a kid, and a lot of money, and a big house. All I have is a tiny apartment and midterms and occasionally a modeling job. I think that before we take any huge steps we should probably just be happy together for a while, a long while."

"I agree." He pulled her into a hug, running his hands down her back and butt, and hooking his hands on the inside of her thighs, lifting her to wrap her body around his. "Wanna go in?" he said, nodding towards the water. 

"Rick Castle, if you get me wet I will absolutely, positively hurt you." her back tensed up, eyes growing wide, knowing that he was going to do it regardless.

"Promise?" he said as he ran into the water. She held on tighter, trying to steal his warmth from him once her body hit the cold water.

Later that night after dinner, they both sat cuddled up on the couch, enjoying a glass of wine, well it had become almost a whole bottle at this point and Kate's body was tingling all over, she knew she should probably stop drinking soon or she would have a horrible hangover the next day.

"How about we go to bed after this glass, babe?"

"You tired?"

"Yeah, and a little drunk."

"So, you feeling a little frisky?"

"No, actually I'm not really in the mood at all." She shrugged him off.

He looked over at her, studying her face, "You okay?"

"Of course I'm okay, I just don't want to have sex."

"That's fine, we don't have to have sex."

"Okay, good."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rick sipping on her wine as Kate sat there staring at her half full glass. 

"I'm sorry for snapping, I'm about to start and sometimes when I drink I get scared of being too drunk, or you being too drunk. My dad was an alcoholic when I was younger, and Josh use to get drunk and force himself on me, or not so much force himself, but he was just really aggressive during sex if he was drunk."

"Aggressive how?"

"Just forceful, it wasn't pleasant at all. Actually the last time we had sex, after you and I started seeing each other, he was really forceful, made me realize that I had made the hugest mistake by ever allowing that to happen. I still to this day can not understand why I did it? Why I let him get to me, or why I complied with having sex with him. It almost became a battle between us the last time. I know it probably kills you to hear this stuff, but I hate him, I truly hate him and all of the things he has planted in my head. He is the reason I am so insecure about us, about my body, about sex."

"You are not insecure about sex Kate."

"I was in the beginning, but now I'm comfortable with you and our sex life. We do have a lot of sex, but it's not just sex, it's different."

"Yeah, it is different." He pulled her closer to him, wrapping both hands around her body.

"Let's go to bed, I really am tired, and I want you to take me around town tomorrow."

"Sounds like the perfect afternoon, we can go shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Yeah, we need to buy you a new dress for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Oh, are we going out somewhere special?" she raised her eyebrows at him.

"I guess you could say I have something special planned."

**I have read a lot of reviews that said they think I am going off track from my original story. Truth is, I have, but I am pretty sure some of the reviewers saying that are the same ones that complained about the whole Josh situation. I have changed the direction a tiny bit but in the end it will all be the same. Just changing my approach to it. **

**Please review, it helps motivate me to post quicker. I appreciate all the reviews so much, negative and positive.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

They woke up fully clothed for the first time in a while. Kate was nuzzled into his side, one leg entangled between the two of his. They lay in silence, each aware the other was awake, just giving each other time to fully wake up.

"I don't want to move." She said, rubbing her hand down his chest and over his belly.

"Yeah, me either, but my stomach veto's that idea." He said, and almost on cue his stomach started growling.

"Yeah, mine isn't too pleased with me either."

"I'll go make us some breakfast while you shower, and then after we can go to some boutiques and find you a perfect dress for dinner."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, so get up and shower so we can get going." he playfully smacked her butt as he slid out from underneath her.

Her head hit the mattress, she was still too tired to really move but she kicked the blanket off and rolled out of bed anyway.

After breakfast they made their way to Main street, Castle insisted on taking her into Gail Rothwell first, the store was filled with designer clothing and accessories. Kate was in heaven, designer clothes were something that she was use to wearing at photoshoots, but she didn't own very many expensive pieces on her own. The sales associates were very hands on in helping her find things to try on. Rick sat outside the fitting rooms patiently, weighing in on some of the dresses, but he loved most all of them.

"Babe, you aren't being much help. I need you to choose one for me."

"Choose whichever one you like the most, Kate, or you can pick more than one. This is my treat, I want you to pick whatever you want out."

"Castle, I don't need a new wardrobe, just a single dress, for tonight," She crossed over towards where he sat and took a seat on his lap.

"Well they all look amazing on you."

"Pick one, Rick."

"Why do I have to choose?"

"Because you're the one I want to impress. Which one do you love, or do you love any of these?"

"I love the black one, it fits perfectly, and it's not too revealing, which I like, because I already know what's underneath, no one else has to know. "

She shoved at his chest playfully, "But does it make me look sexy?"

"Sexy? Kate, you're sexy to me when you are wearing sweat pants."

"Okay, well the black one it is then, if that's the one you like." She stood up, heading back into the small changing room and sliding the curtain over for privacy.

"Kate, if you don't love the black one you don't have to get the black one."

"I love you, and you love the black one, so I love the black one."

After paying for the dress, the two of them decided to grab lunch at a nearby café, something small and light, Kate wanted to make sure that she didn't look bloated in her dress for dinner. She had just began to notice a real difference in her body since eating healthier but she was still self conscious about what she looked like, especially when she and Castle were out together. She knew that he often made the tabloids, and although they had kept their relationship pretty private, she was still aware of the possibility of the paparazzi seeing them out. They had never made the tabloids together, even after their very public display of affection outside of Alexis' school, which she thought was odd considering the pictures the paparazzi must have gotten that day.

"RICK CASTLE" a tall, slim, blonde woman called across the café, "Is that really you?"

She was walking towards their table, clothed from head to toe in designer duds, her long, beautiful blonde hair was sitting perfectly in place over her shoulders.

"Lauren… uhhh, how are you?" he nervously choked out.

"I'm good, it's been a while, well since last summer when I woke up and you were just gone. I mean we had a week of great sex, things I've never done with anyone, and then you're just gone. Thanks for answering my text and phone calls, what a true gentleman you are."

"I. I am really sorry about that, I was going through a hard time, ex-wife problems." He said nervously, trying to find a way to veer the conversation away from their weeklong sex-capades.

"Excuses, excuses," She looked towards Kate, who was sipping on her tea, watching their interaction, "So is this your latest fling?" she questioned, looking Kate up and down.

"Uhh, yeah, I mean No, she is my girlfriend, not a fling," he looked nervously towards Kate, who appeared to be growing more agitated by the minute.

"Hi, Kate Beckett," she waved to the woman, not even trying to hide how annoyed she was.

"Oh, and she's territorial. Honey, you don't have to worry about me, I have been over this one for a while." She laughed, looking back at Rick.

"Well, I'm kind of over you already, so you should probably go." Kate threw back at her.

"KATE!" Rick interrupted, throwing a glare in her direction.

His glare was matched by one of the same intensity, "Really? You know what, maybe I'm the one that should go." She stood from her seat, grabbing her purse and headed straight for the door without a word or glance back at Rick.

Rick made eye contact with Lauren again, both of them in shock by what had just happened, he threw money down on the table, and ran after Kate. When he got out of the Café, he couldn't see her anywhere on the street. Knowing that she had no clue where his house was or where anything else was for that matter, he pulled out his phone and called her.

"What do you want Castle?"

"Kate, where are you?"

"Why does it matter? You just scolded me for taking up for you. I'm suppose to be your girlfriend, you're suppose to be on my side."

"Kate, I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do, and things got out of hand so quickly."

"Yeah they did, you basically introduced me as your latest fling. I'm going to call Lanie, I think it's best if I just go back to the city."

"Kate.. please. Don't do this right now. I made plans for us, I made plans for you."

He could hear the sniffles over the phone, he knew she was crying and all he could think about was getting to her. He continued to search the streets for her, looking into every boutique and restaurant.

"Kate, just tell me where you are, can we at least talk, and then if you want to go back to the city, I'll take you to the city."

"Promise?"

"I promise?"

The phone went dead, and he thought that she had hung up on him, when she felt his arm being grabbed from behind. He turned around to find her tear soaked face. Pulling her into a tight embrace, he kissed the top of her head.

"Don't ever run out on me again."

"I'm sorry, I was angry, and I'm sorry."

"No," he pushed her back away from his body, looking her in the eyes, "I am the one that should be sorry. You didn't ask for that. Lauren knew that she was provoking you and I am so sorry that I yelled at you. I wasn't taking up for her, I just didn't want any conflict."

"I know, I know. I reacted like a child, but I couldn't help it. Not only is she beautiful but she was talking openly about having sex with you. I don't want to imagine anyone else having sex with you, ever."

He drew his hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks and drying her tears with his thumbs.

"I hate seeing you upset babe. I'm sorry about that, I can't change my past and who I've slept with, just like you cant change yours, but we are together now, and we have been so good. Let us be good, please."

"I want us to be good, I want us to be happy. I want to have a great weekend with you."

He pulled her body back in for a tight hug, she nuzzled into his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso.

"Does this mean you'll stay?" he asked.

"Of course I'm staying, I'm not leaving you, so that you can run off and do dirty things to that girl."

"She was right, you are a little territorial." He teased, giving her butt a tight squeeze.

She took a step back from him, releasing her hold and giving him a look of confusion, "Am I enough Rick? When we are intimate, are things okay, or is there more that you want from me?"

He grabbed for her hand, pulling it up and kissing her knuckles, "Baby, you are more than enough for me. Our sex life is amazing, and maybe we haven't done those dirty things to each other that she mentioned, but we don't need those things. I am satisfied completely, and I hope you are too."

She nodded her head excitedly, "Oh, I am completely satisfied." She grinned.

He took her hand, pulling her along the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?"

"Home, so I can satisfy you before dinner."

"NO." she halted their movement, "I don't want to before dinner, I actually can we maybe go buy something special, for tonight?"

He gave her a look of intrigue, "What kind of special?"

"Nothing crazy, just some new lingerie, I'll even let you pick it out."

"I know the perfect place." He took her hand again, pulling her into a small boutique down the block.

**I know I am throwing out excuse after excuse for my update delays, but I go to University of Kentucky and so I have been partying going crazy with my school because we are kicking ass in the NCAA tourney!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Kate, our reservations are in 20 minutes, we need to leave." He stood at the base of the stairs, yelling up at her.

They had spent a little too much time picking out lingerie, which both of them found to be their new favorite thing to do together. They went a little overboard, but Castle couldn't help it once they were there, he could imagine Kate in everything, so he basically bought the store out for he, and when she argued that their purchases were getting excessive, he argued back that he was basically buying them for himself anyway.

"Calm down Rick, I'm coming." She turned the corner to come down the stairs, and Rick's eyes were glued to her.

The dress was floor length, but it had a slit up the front that ended right at mid thigh, and her hair, which she hardly ever wore down, was perfectly curled, cascading down her back. He couldn't contain his excitement over how beautiful she looked, his mouth literally hanging open.

"Baby," he smiled up at her, "you look absolutely stunning, maybe we should skip dinner, because I already can't wait to peel that dress off of you."

She took the final step off of the stairwell standing eye to eye with him, her stilettos bringing her face to face with him.

"If only you knew what I chose to wear underneath." She teased, leaning up into him and capturing his bottom lip between her teeth, pulling him closer to kiss him.

"I cant wait to see, but we have got to go," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the front door, "We are going to be late."

The restaurant was busy, but quiet. The dark, candle lit room was filled with only tables set for two. It was by far the most romantic restaurant Kate had ever been too, and she could tell by atmosphere alone that it was pricy as well.

Castle pulled her chair out for her, before taking his own seat across from her.

"Wow, Castle, this place is amazing."

"Well, this is our first night out in the Hamptons ever, it had to be special."

"This is more than special babe, thank you, for everything, the dress, dinner, the lingerie, even though that was a gift for yourself," she winked at him playfully, drawing a giggle from him.

The waitress approached and Rick ordered sparkling water for the both of them, and he placed their dinner orders. Kate had entrusted him with deciding for her what to eat.

"I don't mind if you drink, Rick. Just because I am too young doesn't mean you cant drink."

He reached his hands over the table, grabbing hold of hers and squeezing tight.

"I know you don't care, but I have a bottle of champagne waiting at the house for us, I'd rather wait so that I can enjoy it with you."

"Can we get in the hot tub?" Kate asked, she had been eyeing it since they arrived at the house.

"Of course, it's cold out but not too bad, a perfect hot tub night if you ask me."

After dinner they left the restaurant, heading back to the house. Both hurrying up the stairs to put their swim suits on. Rick had time before she came downstairs to light a few candles and place them around the hot tub. When Kate walked out, robe draped over her body, she couldn't help but smile at his small efforts to keep the night romantic.

"You are too sweet, but you know you're getting laid either way right? I do appreciate the romance though."

"This isn't about trying to get lucky, this is about treating you like a princess for the night. I want this night to be perfect for you," he said, pulling her body into his, and pulling at the strings to untie the robe, pushing the arms down off of her shoulders. She leaned forward into him, running her hands up over his bare chest and around his neck, pulling herself up into a kiss. His hands grabbed up under her bottom, taking hold of her legs and hoisting her up onto the side of the hot tub. Their hands both started to wander as they kissed, Rick began to kiss down her neck, sucking on her pulse point before whispering in her ear, "Lets get in, its cold, and my body doesn't ya know, react well to the cold."

They both climbed over and into the water, Rick placing two champagne glasses on the side. He sat up against the wall of the hot tub, pulling her body to sit in the V of his legs.

"Have you ever done it in here?" Kate asked, not knowing if that was overstepping. She figured she had the right to know, being his girlfriend meant that he should feel comfortable answering any questions she had.

"Yeah, a few times." He said under his breath, sounding a bit ashamed at his admission.

"How many women?"

"One."

"Who was it? Was it that blonde bitch from the Café?" she asked, laughing a little at how uncomfortable this conversation was making him.

"No, it was Meredith, only Meredith, and it's been a while." He rolled his eyes at her

"Castle, don't get mad at me for asking a simple question, I was curious. I am an open book, if you want to ask me anything, ask away, I have nothing to hide. I expect the same courtesy from you."

"You're right, but its still uncomfortable, but I understand. You can ask me anything."

"You too." She nodded, reassuring him that she was completely comfortable with being open with him.

"Well, have you ever, done it in a hot tub, Kate?"

She shook her head playfully, "No."

He nodded, pulling her hair away from her neck, sweeping it around to the other side as he began to kiss her neck slowly, sucking on her pulse point.

"I've always wanted too, but the opportunity was never given to me." She said, reaching around to cup the side of his face, turning her head and leaning up to kiss him.

He opened his mouth allowing her access to deepen the kiss, his hands wrapped around her lower abdomen, playing with the hem of her bikini bottoms.

"Touch me," She moaned into their passionate kiss, and he did, sneaking one hand under the tiny triangular cloth that was covering her. Running a finger through her folds, he could already feel how ready she was for him, making him moan louder into his mouth.

He began to slowly play with her, rubbing circles over her already swollen nub. She moaned loudly into him, her back arching with every stroke of his finger. She reached down, placing her hand over his to lead him to where she really wanted him. He slid one finger in and then two on the second stroke.

"Castle, I want you inside me."

He withdrew his hands pulling at the strings on her bottoms until they were all the way off. She leaned forward as he pulled his swim shorts down and off of his own legs. She leaned back into him, her back flush against his chest, her legs bracketing his as she sat down on his length, taking it in her hand and rubbing it against her heat. As soon as he felt how wet she was, he thrust up into her, taking her by complete surprise. Her moan was loud, and motivating, he snuck his hands back around her waist, pulling her legs further apart as he thrust into her again, harder, forcing an even louder yell from her. Her body began to rise and fall over his, meeting him thrust for thrust, as he ran small, smooth circles over her clit.

Within minutes, they were both falling apart, Kate unable to contain her screams. He buried himself in her, pulling down on her hips one last time as he released inside of her. Kate fell back against his chest, continuing to grind her hips down onto him, riding out her orgasm.

"That was a great first time," she ran her hand up his neck into the back of his head, playing with his hair.

"That was just the best time for me. You were so wet and tight, I could just stay in you all night long."

"I plan on you staying in me all night long." She said lifting herself up off of him, shivering at the loss of him inside her. She turned her body around, wrapping her arms around his neck and straddling his lap. She could already feel his length standing at attention, bouncing against her stomach. She lowered one of her hands down his chest, under the water to wrap around him for a minute, pumping up and down a few times before sneaking underneath to massage his balls.

"Oooooh, Kate, stop." He said, jerking back from her hand, "Those are really sensitive right now, I need a minute."

She nodded seductively, rising from his lap and exiting the hot tub.

She started walking towards the pool, untying the strap around her neck to let the bikini drop down, exposing her breast. She turned, looking over her shoulder towards him.

"I'm getting in the pool to cool down, you coming?"

"Yes, yes I am."

He stood up out of the hot tub, running after her.

After one more round in the hot tub, they took their escapades inside, making love two more times, once on the couch in the living room, and once in the bed before passing out wrapped in each others arms.

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**I hope everyone is enjoying the story. I'll try and update again tomorrow afternoon. **


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

They left the Hamptons before noon the next day, trying to get back to the city as early as possible to surprise Alexis, who had surprisingly left them alone most of the trip. Rick assumed that was Martha's doing which he greatly appreciated. He loved his daughter, but he was excited to be alone with Kate for two days.

"Are you going to drop me off at home?"

"I thought you told Alexis that you were going to spend the day with us?"

"I can, I just didn't know if maybe you wanted some alone time with her. I know she says she wants me there, but maybe she needs some alone time with her daddy."

"I think she'll be more excited to spend time with you then she will me, Kate,"

"Don't be silly Rick.."

"Silly?" he questioned, looking over to the passenger seat where she had been reclined most of the trip. "Have you seen the way that little girl follows you around at the loft Kate? She is borderline stalking you."

"Are you jealous over your own four year old daughters relationship with me? So what if she follows me around? She and I are pals, If you only knew all the secrets we keep from you," She teased. Reaching her hand over into his lap, massaging his thigh.

"HEY! Hands to yourself," he said grabbing her hand and placing it back in her own lap. "What kind of secrets is she keeping from me?"

Kate laughed at his curiousness, "Rick, she's four, it's not like she is sleeping with her much older, tall, handsome, boyfriend."

"Are you implying that I'm much older than you?"

"I mean seven years is quite a bit older."

"Kate, I'm 26 years old, it's not like im 40. Do your parents have a problem with us dating?"

"No." Kate shrugged, "I mean they wont."

"Won't? You mean they don't know about us?"

"I mean my mom knows about us in the past, but I haven't really talked about you much since we've really been together. She only knows because I bawled my eyes out to her after, well, you know."

"So she knows about that.."

"Yeah, she knows, I tell her everything."

"Except that you have a boyfriend, right?" he said with a sharp tone, annoyed that she would be the one hiding their relationship after all the shit she has given him.

"It's not that I'm hiding you Rick, I just want you to myself for a little bit longer, but if you want to meet them I'll take you and Alexis over anytime."

"Really?"

"Of course, I mean I plan on keeping you around for a while, they're going to want to know who has been holding me hostage eventually." She said, reaching over and grabbing his hand, lacing he fingers through his.

"Well, then I'd like to meet them." He brought her hand up to his mouth, placing a kiss on her knuckles.

"Okay, I'll call my mom tonight and see when they're free."

"Are they going to like me?"

Kate let out a giggle that he wasn't sure about, "My mom will, my dad, he has never really liked any of my boyfriends, but you don't have tattoos, and you don't have a motorcycle so it wont be as bad as past boyfriends."

"Did he like Josh?" Castle question, his hand subconsciously squeezing hers tighter as her uttered his name.

"Yeah, they both loved Josh, but they were friends with his parents, and he was pre-med, so they had a picture of he and I married, with our 2.5 kid, and our picket fence."

"There are no picket fences in Manhattan."

"Castle, calm down, they will love you." She leaned over, placing a kiss on his cheek as they entered his parking garage. 

As they entered the loft, Alexis flew towards the door, knocking her dads bag out of his hand as she jumped into his arms.

"DADDDDDDYYYYYY!"

"Oh, hi little munchkin, how was your weekend?"

"It was okay."

"Just okay?"

"Well," she began to whisper, "Gram made me watch stupid movies again."

He tickled her stomach, "Not again…"

"Hey, I heard that Alexis! I was just trying to show her the beauty of classic films."

The older red head made her way in from the kitchen, giving her son and Kate both hugs as she closed the door behind them, helping with the bags.

They made their way to the living room, Rick plopping on the couch, placing Alexis across his lap as Kate took a seat next to them.

They spent the evening cuddled on the couch, watching Disney movies and pigging out on junk food.

Kate decided to slip out early, leaving a little daughter, daddy time before Alexis had to go to bed. Promising to call Rick before she went to bed.

She made her way to her parents apartment, deciding that she'd rather tell them in person about her relationship, and it would give her time to spend with them, before their work week started.

"Katie bug, what do we owe this pleasure," her mother poked up as she saw Kate enter the kitchen.

"Just dropping by to see you guys, it's been a little while."

"A little while? Kate, I haven't seen you in almost two months, and you barely return my text and calls." They both made their way to the kitchen table, sitting across from one another.

Kate pulled an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it, "I've been a little busy?"

"With work?"

"No, with a boy, I mean a man."

"Kate…. Are you still seeing the author?"

"Maybe…"

Her mom laughed, "Maybe, huh? How long have you all been seeing each other again?"

"We started seeing each other in mid January, so about two months now."

"Two months, and you just haven't mentioned him."

"I didn't want you to judge me. I know how you both felt about me breaking up with Josh, so I decided to keep it to myself for a while."

"So how did he handle the Josh I situation?" her mother asked, having not heard from Kate since the day she told her mother about sleeping with Josh.

"Not well, but we are past that now, and we are happy." She smiled, the thought of how he made her feel bringing a blush to her cheeks.

"You sound happy."

"Oh, I am. We actually just got back from his Hamptons house today."

"Ohhh, his Hamptons house, how fancy." Her mom teased.

"Mom, stop it. It's not like that."

"Not like what?"

"He has money, so what? Its not an issue between us."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not an issue for you at all."

Kate glared up at her mom, "Are you implying that I'm just with him for his money? You don't even know him, or anything about our relationship!" she raised her voice to a shout.

"Kate, calm down. I wasn't implying anything. You're right I don't know anything about your relationship, but I know what a brat you've been in the past, especially with Josh."

"Mom, don't bring up my relationship with Josh, it was different and you know it. I was pressured to be with him by you and dad, and sure I loved him, or I thought I did, but you don't know how he really treated me and if you did you would never speak about him again, so drop him please."

"What do you mean how he treated you?"

"It's not important anymore. I have Rick now, who treats me amazing, I mean truly amazing, and I'm pretty sure he loves me."

"Loves you?"

"Yeah, I mean, I love him, and I've told him, but he hasn't quite returned the sentiment yet. Not that I can blame him, he definitely has his guard up after our rocky start."

Jim walked into the kitchen from the bedroom, having just took a shower. He walked over to Kate, pressing a kiss on her forehead and then taking a seat next to her.

"How's my little girl?"

"I'm good dad, how are you?"

"Now that you're here, a thousand times better." His statement earning a glare from her mother, one in which he returned.

"Is something going on I should know about?" Kate asked, sensing the tension in the room.

Her dad giving her mother a nod as their eyes never broke contact.

"We wanted to wait a little longer to tell you but your father and I," she paused, making eye contact with Kate as the tears began to fall from her eyes, "we are separating?"

"Excuse me, what?" Kate said, squeezing her eyes shut, almost as if she would open them and this would be a dream, "separating, what, why?"

Her dad chimed in now, taking over for her crying mother, "We just think that maybe we need some time apart, to see what we really want."

"What you really want? You've been married for over twenty years, you're just going to throw it away."

"Kate," her father reached out for her hand, Kate jerking hers away as they made contact.

"No! I don't believe you two, what is going on."

Her mother held her crying face in her hands, unable to look at Kate.

"Mom?"

She lifted her head, "Kate, I made a mistake."

"Mom… Are you… you didn't, " her eyes met her dad, whose were beginning to fill with tears, "Daddy?"

Her head was shooting from one parent to another, searching for an answer.

"Kate, I don't blame her, we haven't been happy for a while, we stayed together because of you, and now thing would be easier for us to live separately. We will still be your parents."

She stood up from her chair, running her hands down her sides to straighten her clothes out, "WELL, DUH DAD. YOU CANT DIVORCE ME." She began towards the door, her dad getting out of his seat and running after her. He caught her arm as she opened the front door.

"Katie, slow down."

"Dad, I'm not mad at you, she is the one that ruined this family, not you."

He ran his hand over her cheek, drying the tears from her face, "Kate, I am not mad at her, we are both adults, and we are going to move on from this and we will both be fine."

"Do you want this separation?" 

"Of course it isn't ideal, but I feel it's necessary now."

"Of course you do, she cheated, I'd leave her ass too if she cheated on me after 20 plus years of marriage."

She walked out the door, closing it in his face behind her.

Before she knew it she had ended up in front of Castles loft, subconsciously seeking out the comfort only he could give her. She knocked on the door, switching her weight between her feet anxiously.

He flung the door open, "Kate, hey babe."

She ran into his body, throwing her arms around his torso and placing a kiss on his neck.

He pulled her in, rubbing his hand up and down her spine, "Hey, what's wrong."

"My parents, they're separating."

Her admission was met with momentary silence before he pulled back, grabbing her arm and pulling her into his bedroom, seeking privacy.

He sat down on the bed pulling her in to sit next to him, wrapping his arms around her body and holding her.

"I don't even know why I'm crying. I don't remember the last time I saw them kiss, or even touch each other."

"They are still your parents babe, and I know you must be hurt by it, but it will all be okay, and maybe they will be happier this way."

"Happier? I thought when you married someone, it was suppose to be forever, my mom just strayed from her marriage after 20 years and I'm suppose to just accept it?"

"Kate, people make mistakes, you should know that better than anyone."

"Don't even bring up Josh, that is completely different?"

"You're right, it is different but it doesn't mean that it wasn't a mistake."

She paused, thinking about the accountability she held for herself and what she expected from her mother.

"Kate, your parents love you, that's not going to change, maybe they don't love each other anymore, maybe they do, maybe they are just going through a confusing time in their relationship. Every relationship has those, we are going to have those, maybe a year from now, maybe a month from now."

She pulled him into a kiss, a passionate one, throwing her right leg over his hips to straddle him, leaning down over his body she shoved her tongue into his mouth, seeking comfort, seeking passion. He returned her kiss, pulling her hips into his groin.

She pulled back from his mouth, laying her head on his chest, "Rick, you'll never cheat on me, right?"

"Never." He said, running his hands down her back, trying to calm her down.

She fell asleep on top of him, and he slid out from underneath her, placing her head on her pillow and pulling the covers up over her body.

Over the next month, Kate didn't speak to either of her parents, ignoring all of their attempts at contact.

Since Kate had found out about her parents separation she had only distanced herself from Rick, she still stayed at the loft most nights, but it had gotten to a point where Rick was afraid to initiate any sexual activity, fearing she would freak out on him. There was noticeable tension building in their own relationship and even though he had tried to be patient with her, he was beginning to lose hope that there was anything he could do to pull her out of her funk.

He decided that maybe he should plan a night for just the two of them, so he did, he sent her roses, and had a dress sent to her apartment for her to wear, but when he showed up, she wasn't dressed for a date, instead she was on her couch, wearing pajamas.

"Kate, are you going to get ready?" he asked, reaching for her arm to pull her up from the couch.

"Babe, I just don't feel like going out. I'm about to start my period, and I just want to lay on the couch and watch movies with you."

He dropped her hand, and placed both of his on his waist, staring at her, trying to figure out something, anything to get her out of her apartment.

"Kate, I know you've been in a funk lately, but I'm trying babe, I really am."

She met his eyes, and could sense his frustration with her, but she just couldn't understand why he wouldn't give her the time she needed to get past this.

"I know you're trying," she patted the couch cushion beside her, so that he would sit. "I know I have been a bitch lately, and not very pleasant to be around, but I'm emotional."

"Kate, I get it, you're upset about your parents, but you haven't even spoken to them since they told you. You don't even know how things are between them, instead you're moping around like you're the one getting a divorce."

"I am not moping."

"Babe, I sent roses and a dress, and planned a very expensive date tonight and your sitting on your couch in pajamas, you're definitely moping.

"Fine, I'll get ready, and we are going to go out and have an amazing dinner."

"It's not just about tonight Kate, I've done everything I know to do to try and get you out of this funk, and every time I make a suggestion you blow up on me. I can't handle it anymore. We might need to take a break until you figure this out. I can't spend all of my free time worrying about what's going to set you off next. It's not fair to me."

She couldn't even force the tear's, she was numb to everything he was saying, almost as if she didn't hear what he was saying to her.

"Rick, I'm sorry, I don't know why this is so hard for me, but it is. They are my parents."

"I know they are your parents, but I'm your boyfriend, who you use to tell you loved," he shook is head, "I don't even remember the last time we were intimate."

"It was like a week ago…" she paused, "Wasn't it?"

"Kate, it's been weeks, literally weeks, and I understand you haven't been in the mood, but we have to figure something out."

"It hasn't been weeks.."

"Kate, since we've been home from the Hamptons, which was in mid March, we haven't had sex, we didn't even have sex on my birthday, and that was almost two weeks ago."

She thought about it for a second, and he was right, they hadn't had sex since they were in the Hamptons.

"We can have sex tonight." She started to climb into his lap, reaching up to kiss him.

He pushed her away gently, "Kate, I don't want you to just have sex with me. This isn't just about sex, I need to be intimate with you, to be close to you. Do you know what it's like when the person you love, doesn't want you to touch them, to make love to them? It's a little frustrating."

She met his eyes, slowly running her hand up his chest, "You love me?"

He nodded, "Of course I love you."

"really?"

He ran his hands around her waist pulling her back onto his lap, "Yeah really,"

That's all it took, three little words and she was diving into him, kissing him with more passion than he had seen from her in weeks. He slid his hands under her butt, standing from the couch and carrying her to her bedroom.

He laid her on the bed, starting to untie her pajama pants, and in one swift movement he pulled them down along with her panties.

"anxious are we," she teased, reaching for his belt buckle, flicking it open and unbuttoning his pants.

"Like I said, it's been weeks."

He pushed her back on the bed, ridding himself of his clothes and then climbing up the bed, positioning himself between her legs. He ran his hands up her body, pulling all of the hair out of her face, and kissing her passionately as he slid his fingers through her already wet lips. After a few innocent strokes he slid two fingers into her, jerking them up into her, as his palm lay flat against her clit. She moaned into his mouth, urging him to make quicker moments. Within minutes his name was falling from her mouth as she came. He got a condom out of the bedside table, sliding it over his length and then lowering his body down over hers, positioning himself at her entrance, and in one swift movement he was inside her, he could still feel her muscles pulsating around him from her orgasm as he began to move slowly inside of her.

"It feels so good, don't stop," she urged him on, grabbing his ass and pushing him deeper into her as she held her legs wide.

He began to pump into her faster as he saw her eyes roll into the back of her head, it was what turned him on the most, watching the pleasure of their bodies together take over her.

"I love you, Kate," he whispered into her ear, her eyes shooting open to look into his.

"I love you too." She said, as her nails were scraping down his back as she slid them over his muscular body, seeking his closeness, "Harder," she screamed as she felt herself about to let go, and he did as she wanted, he thrust into her one last time, their pelvis meeting in almost a painful way as they both let go at the same time.

His body collapses on top of hers, immediately rolling off of her, trying to catch his breathe.

"Well, that's a first." She said, and he could hear tenseness in her voice, his head shot towards her.

"What?"

"You usually are a little more loving after we have sex, now you just roll off me. Guess you got your rocks off, huh? Isn't that what you needed."

'Kate, you're being silly."

"Silly? You just told me you love me for the first time, then you get what you wanted, and now you cant get away from me fast enough."

She slung her feet from the bed, standing up and grabbing her robe, heading out of the bedroom. He jumped up after her, grabbing his boxers and sliding them on as he followed her into the kitchen.

"Kate, I'm done. You're driving me crazy. I don't even know what to do anymore. We were just fine, we were absolutely fine, I just told you that I love you, and then we had amazing sex, and now you're mad again. I can not win with you, and I'm done trying. You are absolutely bat shit crazy right now, and I don't think it has anything to do with your parent's separating. Whatever it is, you need to figure it out."

"Fuck you, Rick. I can't help it that I've been down lately. You think I want to feel this way? You think I want to be fighting with my boyfriend every five minutes about things that shouldn't even matter."

He walked towards her, pulling her into a hug, one that she tried to fight from him.

"Babe, I'm gonna go home, I need space. I think you need some too. You need to figure out what's going on, and you need to fix it, because I have tried, and failed. I can't do this anymore. I cant fight with you, I cant sit back and let you pick fights with me over things I know are stupid."

She held on to him, unwilling to let him leave, "Rick, please."

He backed away from her, pulling her arms from his waist.

"Rick, are we breaking up?"

He shook his head, "No, we aren't breaking up, but we are going to take a couple of days apart, I think we need them. We can clear our heads about all of this and maybe sometime this weekend we can sit down and talk and figure out a plan to fix everything that is going on. We cant continue to live like this."

She nodded her head in agreement, "You're right, maybe a little time apart will be good for the two of us."

She leaned up, giving him a kiss on the lips, before they both went back to her room to get dressed.

Rick pulled his clothes back on, tucking her in on the couch and giving her a kiss on the forehead before he left.

"This isn't a no contact break, right?" she asked as he turned to walk out the door.

"If you need me you can call, but I think we should try to keep it to a minimum or we will never survive the week without one another."

"Yeah, you're right," she said, "Hey, I love you."

He turned the handle, pulling the door open, "I love you too, I'll talk to you later, k?"

"Okay."

**One person reviewed last chapter, not cool.**

**I still wrote an extra long chapter this time, hope you enjoy.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

When Kate woke up on Friday morning she felt like she'd been hit by a train. She wanted to call Castle, but she didn't think that it would be a good idea after what had happened a few nights night before. Her moods had been so back and forth lately that she didn't blame him for needing space. She had been miserable, and she knew that she had been making him just as miserable, so she had given him the time and space away from her. She decided to run herself a hot bath to relax in, thinking that maybe it would help but it only seemed to make her more uncomfortable. She couldn't tell if she had a fever or not, but she knew that she was coming down with something. She tried to force herself to eat, hoping that it would make her stomach feel better, but it had been hard to keep any of it down.

After hours of throwing up she knew that she had to reach out to someone for help. She was absolutely miserable and she didn't know if the stress over her relationship was the cause or if there was actually something wrong with her.

Lanie made it over in under 30 minutes, with crackers and sprite in tow.

"How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Honestly, just this morning, I woke up and I felt horrible. It's now 2 pm and I haven't stopped throwing up."

"So you felt fine yesterday?"

"Yeah, physically I was fine."

"Physically? What does that mean?"

"Castle left the other night, said he needed a break from me because I was, quote 'being bat shit crazy', which he isn't wrong about."

Lanie brought a cold cloth over to the couch, laying it across the back of her neck and taking a seat on the ground in front of her.

"Oh lord, what were you being crazy about?"

Kate sighed, "More like what wasn't I being crazy about. Lanie, I seriously feel like I've lost my mind. One minute I am fine, the next I could seriously commit murder. We had sex for the first time since we came back from the Hamptons. THE HAMPTONS LANIE! That was a month ago."

"You went a month without having sex with your boyfriend, and he still stuck around, he must love you."

"He does," she smiled, "he told me, before we had sex, and then afterwards, literally thirty seconds after I was biting his head off again."

"So he told you he loved you, then you all had sex, and then you attacked him."

"Yeah, pretty much."

Lanie shook her head, "Kate, I don't know what could be wrong, maybe you should go see Dr. Burke again."

Kate bolted up from where she lay, making her way to the bathroom. Lanie could hear her emptying her stomach from the living room so she made her a glass of sprite and took a few crackers to her.

"Kate, you should really try and eat something."

"Lanie everything I eat or drink comes straight back up."

Lanie bent down to put her hand on the back of Kate's neck, feeling for a temperature.

"Kate, you are burning up, hold on let me grab a thermometer."

She hurried off to find one, and when she came back to Kate curled into a ball in front of the toilet, she took her temperature. "103, Kate I think we should go to the emergency room."

They made their way into the emergency room, and they began her on IV fluids to help with the dehydration. The nurse made her way in to check her blood pressure and ask a few questions.

"Ma'am what is the date of your last period?"

"Sometime last month," she paused, "I'm trying to think…"

"Are they irregular?"

"They didn't use to be but the last few months they have been. Honestly, I don't even really remember when my last period was."

"Kate," Lanie yelled at her, "What do you mean you don't know, it hasn't crossed your mind that you might be pregnant."

"Honestly, No. We use condoms and I'm on birth control."

"Calm down then," the nurse said, "I'm sure you're fine, but we will run some test to make sure."

Kate nodded, towards the nurse and then looked over at Lanie whose eyes had grown even wider. As the nurse left, Kate couldn't help but question what the look was for from Lanie.

"What do you mean Kate? Mood swings, sickness, missed periods."

"Lanie, I'm not pregnant. It's something else, I would know if I was pregnant."

"Are you and Rick always careful?"

"Yes… I mean I can count the amount of times we have forgotten a condom on one hand, and not even a full hand."

"It only takes one time."

"Lanie, I know it only takes one time but, I'm not pregnant."

Just as Kate finished her sentence, Castle rounded the corner into her room.

"Rick, what are you doing here, how did you…" she looked towards Lanie who shrugged her shoulders.

"I knew I had to call him, you're too stubborn to."

He crossed the room, coming to the side of her bed and bending down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Kate, I told you to call if you needed me."

"I was just trying to give you the space you wanted."

"Kate, the space was for both of us, but I told you that you could call if you needed me, and you needed me, so why be so stubborn?"

"So what, I'm a little sick, it's not like I'm dying. I have a stomach bug, people get them all the time." She laid her head back on the pillow, turning her face away from him.

He sat down on the bed next to her and started to play with the hair around her ears, pulling it back and tucking it in.

"You were sick enough to make it into the ER, I think that at that point it's okay to call."

"I wasn't exactly thinking about that while I was throwing my guts up."

"You okay now?" he said leaning over her mouth and bringing her chin up to kiss him.

"Yeah, I missed you." she said, breaking away from their kiss.

Lanie stood up from her seat and pointed to the door, "I'll give you two a minute."

Kate nodded at her.

As Lanie was walking out the nurse was walking back into the room.

"Well I think I know what's going on."

"Finally!" Kate said, throwing her arms down to he sides.

Rick stood from the bed making his way to lean against the wall.

"Is it okay if I talk about it with him in the room or would you like privacy?"

"He's my boyfriend, he is going to find out either way so it's fine if he is here."

"Well, you are pregnant, urine test we did on you came back positive."

"No, No, No," Kate began to cry, looking over towards Rick who slid down the wall immediately, hitting the ground and burying his face into his hands.

"So this wasn't planned?"

"No," she shook her head, "I'm nineteen, how am I suppose to take care of a baby?"

"Hey, everything is going to be okay," the nurse said, patting her on the leg, "I'll give you two a minute."

They both sat in silence not even looking in one another direction. Rick eventually got up and made it back to her bed, taking a seat on the end of it and looking down at her.

"It's gonna be okay Kate, we are going to be fine."

"That's easy for you to say, you have a child already. You know how to do this, and you don't have to carry this baby. My body is going to be ruined, my parents are going to kill me."

"Those things might happen, but you are going to be a great mom, and this baby is going to be so loved by both of it's parents." He took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers.

"Yeah?"

He made his way up the bed, taking hold of her face and pulling her in for a kiss,

"This explains a lot about these mood swings you've been having."

"I don't know how this happened, we have been so careful."

"I wouldn't call us 'so careful' Kate, there have been a few times that we have been unprotected."

"Yeah, a few times, but I am also on birth control."

"Do you take it everyday?"

"Yeah, except when we went to the Hamptons, I did forget it at home, but we used condoms."

"No, actually we didn't, not in the hot tub, either time, or on the couch."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that." She smirked, a smile growing at the memory of that night. She let out a loud laugh, and shoved her foot at him.

He nodded his head, a smile breaking across it. The mood in the room got lighter as the shock began to ware off. Internally Kate knew that everything was going to be okay, and now she had a reason for how she had been acting. As he realized that she was happier in this moment than she had been in weeks his mood completely changed as well. This baby was going to be a part of both of them, and as he looked into her eyes he knew that everything would work its self out.

"Why are you so happy? You're suppose to be freaking out with me."

His smile only grew at her accusations of him being happy. "Because the girl I love is going to have my baby."

"Castle, we both talked about this and decided that we needed to take our relationship slow, and now we have been dating for a little over three months and I'm pregnant." She laughed.

"I wonder how fat your gonna get?" he teased, again lightening the mood.

"Oh don't even make me think about that yet," she rolled her eyes, "I can already imagine myself waddling through the loft."

They both laughed at the thought of that.

"How do you think Alexis is going to feel about it?" Kate asked.

"I think she will be excited, but I think we should wait to tell her."

"Why would we wait, she should be the first to know."

"I mean we don't even know how far along you are, plus 9 months is a long time for a 4 year old to wait on a baby."

Kate laughed at that, "Yeah, maybe we should wait until I start to show, so that she can physically see the baby growing inside of me."

"Wow."

"What?"

He reached up placing his hand on her lower abdomen and rubbing circles, "Our baby is in there."

She ran her hand down over his, mimicking his movement, "Yeah, that's weird to think about."

The nurse walked back in the room, interrupting the intimate moment they were sharing.

"You two look a little better."

"Yeah, I think we are going to be okay." Kate teased, squeezing Castles hand.

He nodded back at her, "We are going to be great."

"Okay kids, here's the deal, Kate, make an appointment with you doctor within the next few days. And you," she pointed at Rick, "Your only job is to make sure she is eating and drinking enough, the beginning of a pregnancy can be very hard on your body, make sure she eats."

"Yes, of course." He said.

"Well I am gong to go get your discharge papers, and you can get dressed. You two are free to go as soon as the paperwork is done. Make sure to get plenty of rest Kate, and don't stress out, stress is the worst thing for your body while pregnant."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Her morning sickness had stuck to the mornings, and it was miserable, but every afternoon it would magically disappear and she would be fine. She had been staying at the loft with Rick so that he could take care of her and he had been great. He held her when she was sick, pulled her hair back when she threw up, and basically force-fed her breakfast even when she refused any food. Her doctor had confirmed her pregnancy, and putting her at about six weeks along, which right around the Hamptons trip, confirming their theory that they had a hot tub baby growing inside of her. Rick had teased her multiple times over the past week about how he had gotten her pregnant in the hot tub, but she thought that she had already been pregnant before their trip.

As they walked out of the doctor's office, Rick reached over grabbing her hand and pulling her to a stop.

"I told you it was a hot tub baby."

She slapped his chest, pushing him away as he puller her into his arms, wrapping both of his arms around her waist. "Okay, you win, we made a hot tub baby."

"We aren't far from your apartment, I think we should walk there and maybe have a little playtime before we pick Lex up."

"I'm not really in the mood for play time right now, but we can go shopping, look at baby stuff."

"Really? Already? I thought I had a few months until this would start, you're only 6 week along, we don't have any clue what we are having, it's not fun until you know what you're having."

"I don't think I want to know." She said, wrapping her arm around his waist as they walked along the New York sidewalk.

"WHAT? We have to find out, I don't have it in me to wait until its born."

"Really? Would the suspense literally kill you?"

"It would LITERALLY kill me. We have to find out as soon as possible."

"It would make it easier to decorate, and buy clothes. Gosh it's already giving me a headache."

"So when are we going to tell your parents?"

"We can go to my moms work, tell her first."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, if you want. If not, we can wait a little longer."

"No, No, I'd love to meet her." He sighed, and she could see the fear in his eyes.

"Rick, you think you're scared? Imagine how I feel right now. I am an only child, my mothers baby girl and I am about to tell her that I'm pregnant out of wedlock, and that the guy who knocked me up is her favorite author."

"Her favorite, eh?"

"Yeah, her FAVORITE." She exaggerated, giving him a bump of the shoulder.

They hailed a cab, making their way to her mothers office, it was in a tall office building in midtown, Rick hadn't asked many questions but he knew that she was a lawyer, just didn't know how big of a deal she was. He assumed that Kate had grown up well off, but not wealthy.

They knocked on the door frame as they approached, Johanna was on the phone and waved her smiling daughter into the room.

She approached Kate wrapping an arm around her giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, before hanging up the phone.

"Listen, Tom I have to go my daughter just walked in." she hung up the phone making awkward eye contact with Castle but choosing not to acknowledge him before speaking to her daughter.

"Katie, I am so glad you're here, you haven't been answering, and I've been worried."

"Well, I'm fine, Mom. Better now."

"Better?"

"Yeah, not as angry. More accepting."

"Kate, what happened, was a mistake."

"I actually don't want to talk about it. That's not what I'm here for."

"Oh, well what are you here for?"

"I came to introduce my boyfriend, this is Rick Castle. Rick, this is my mother, Johanna Beckett."

"You can call me Jo." She extended her hand to him, a smile from ear to ear. She was clearly a little star struck and in awe of her daughters boyfriend.

"Nice to meet you, Jo."

"You two have a seat."

They both sat down across from her at her desk.

"So how has everything been? Good?" She eyed Kate, clearly directing the question towards her alone.

"Things have been crazy, we are doing good, better, better than ever actually."

"Well that's great to hear."

"Yeah, I actually have some news."

"What kind of news?"

Kate reached over grabbing Ricks hand and pulling it into her lap. "I'm pregnant."

Johanna's smile immediately left her face, and the tears began to form in her eyes. She stayed silent for a few minutes, surveying the two kids sitting in front of her.

"Mom, I know that it's not ideal, but we are happy, and we've decided to do this together."

Her mom nodded, "I just need a moment, Kate."

She stood from her chair and walked out of the room quickly.

"Well that wasn't easy to watch at all." Rick stated, drawing a glare from Kate.

"I told you this woudn't be easy. She'll get over it though."

They sat quietly in her office for about five minutes before she came back into the room.

"Well I am assuming that you haven't told your father yet?" she said, taking a seat at her desk.

"No, it was just confirmed this morning. I am six weeks. I wanted to tell you first, I thought you deserved to know."

"Kate, we have talked about protecting yourself for years, since you became sexually active. I just, I don't understand."

"I mean it was an accident and we have been careful, just not careful enough, but the way I see it, this baby is suppose to be here, he or she is coming no matter what, so I'm going to choose to be excited about it."

"Well then I'm excited for you. It's just that you are still my little girl, and now my little girl is going to have a baby of her own. That's a little scary. I am going to be a grandma."

"Rick, how do you feel about this?" She asked, seeking the first communication between herself and the man who got her daughter pregnant.

"I was in shock, like you, at first. Now, I don't really see another option other than being extremely excited. I love your daughter, and we have only been together a few months, but we are okay, we are going to be okay." He smiled over at Kate.

"Well you two have a pretty positive attitude about it, so I guess I cant be the one to sit around and be upset. Your father might kill Rick."

"Don't remind me," Rick interjected, drawing a laugh from both Kate and her mother.

"It will be okay babe, I'll be there and if anything gets really crazy I'll protect you."

"Good luck with that," Johanna said sarcastically.

"How are you and dad?" Kate asked.

"We are….. still separated, but we are still talking, and going to counseling."

"Counseling? Is it helping?"

"Yeah, it really is."

XX

After her visit with her mom, Kate decided that she would put her dad off a little longer, telling one parent today had been enough. She knew that telling her dad would be much harder. They had always had a close bond when she was little, but as she got older he distanced himself a little. She figured it was him protecting himself from her growing up. He liked Josh but always cringed when he would see them kiss or even hold hands. She was pretty sure that in his mind she was still a virgin and this news would completely confirm that she was in fact not a virgin.

As they lay in bed that night, Kate pulled up against his chest, he ran his hand down over her stomach, pulling her in close and then settling his palm flat across her lower abdomen.

"I really can't believe there is a baby in there. I don't know if it will be real to me until I can see the evidence."

"I'm sure it wont be too long before I start to show. I am a pretty small person, there isn't much space for the baby to go except out."

He laughed, running his hand back and forth over her stomach. He placed a kiss on her neck, which drew a low moan from her. She reached back to cup his face and drag it down to her mouth. Kate felt Ricks hand start to roam from her abdomen down under her underwear, sliding a finger through her heat.

"Wow, you are really wet. Really wet." He teased, kissing her again, deeper.

"Not only am I really horny, but im kind of in a freaky mood."

"Whoaaa, no way. We aren't doing any freaky shit with my baby in there."

She reached behind her rubbing his already swollen member, "Really, so you're denying your pregnant girlfriend hot, fast, passionate sex."

"No, I'm just saying nothing too crazy."

She slid her hand down his abs and into the top of his boxers, sliding her hand up and down his length.

He pulled her underwear down and off her legs before pulling his own off. Lifting her leg up to slide his in between, opening her up to him. He slid his length through her folds over and over, spreading her wetness all over himself before sliding into her from behind.

"uhhhhhhhhhh" she moaned loudly as he began to push into her slowly before pulling out and slamming back into her.

Once he began to move inside of her she leaned back into his chest, reaching up to kiss him, he returned her passion, trailing his mouth down her neck and over her chest, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it.

"harder." She begged.

His movements slowed immediately, pumping into her softer, and less erratic,

"Rick, you aren't going to hurt the baby." She whispered into his hear as he rose to kiss her.

"I know, but I still don't want to be rough with my baby in there."

"Rick, I need you to be rougher if you want me to get any pleasure out of this. The baby has no clue what is going on."

"I know."

"Well, harder then, and faster, I really need you to be rough for just a few minutes."

After hearing her reassurance he began to thrust harder as he felt his orgasm building his pace quickened. His pelvic bone slapping against her ass with every thrust.

"You almost there baby?" he asked, the sweat starting to build between their bodies.

"Yeah, I'm almost there," she ran her finger over where his lay between her legs, guiding him faster."

She was the first to go, her muscles starting pulsating around him and he was gone. He released inside of her, pumping in and out until he came down. Sliding out of her and turning her over to face him. He kissed her passionately, pulling her hair away from where it was stuck on her face from the sweat.

"I love you," he said, spacing each word out with a kiss,

"I love you too."

**I love hearing the responses from each chapter. It's interesting to hear everyone's very different opinions.**

**I'll update again sometime tomorrow probably.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 - 11 Weeks

"Kate, wake up." He poked at her shoulder.

"Five more minutes, please, hasn't anyone ever told you not to wake a pregnant lady." She said, sneaking one eye open and rolling over on to her side to face him.

"You're showing."

She sat up in the bed, looking down at her stomach, and running a hand over her lower abdomen. "Really? Can you tell?"

"Oh yeah, you are definitely baby bumpin." He teased as he sat up, placing a kiss on her shoulder

She stood up from the bed, making her way into the bathroom to get a better look in the mirror. He followed behind, excited to see her reaction to her growing stomach. She pulled her shirt up over her head tossing it into the hamper and turned sideways to look at her body from the side.

"OH MY GOD." A smile broke across her face as she ran her hand down over her stomach.

He walked up behind her, sneaking his arms around her waist to run his hands over her belly. "Crazy, huh?" he placed a kiss on her shoulder, and another on her neck.

"I have to tell my dad. His birthday is next week, he is going to see me, and he is going to know immediately."

"Well, its probably time that we tell him anyway, we haven't told anyone else yet, plus you're almost out of your first trimester and that's when you usually start to tell people."

"How should I tell him? Should we take him to dinner, in a very public place? You know, so he doesn't try and kill you right then." She let out a deep laugh.

"Oh you're evil. Not funny, Kate."

She turned around in his arms, running her hand up his bare chest over his shoulders.

"He is going to be shocked, but he is going to be okay."

"I know," he kissed her, "It just, it's my first time meeting him, and I have to drop this kind of news on the man. I feel bad for him. I can't imagine Alexis bringing her boyfriend to meet me and telling me that she was pregnant all in the same day."

"Rick, he is going to be happy for me when he sees how happy you make me."

"How happy do I make you?" he ran his hands down her sides, hooking his hands into her underwear and pulling them down. She threw her head back and started to laugh at his eagerness.

"Not as happy as I make you apparently." She looked down between them where his erection was poking her in the stomach through his boxers.

"Shower?" he asked, as he began his attack on her neck, sucking on her pulse point.

"mmmhhhhhmmmm," she moaned pushing at his boxers, "If we can even make it into the shower first."

XX

As they walked into the restaurant, Kate tore Ricks hand from her waist, putting distance between the two of them.

"You okay?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yeah, just nervous, I don't want his first impression of you to be you groping me in a public place?" she rolled her eyes.

"Groping? I was not groping you." He glared towards her as she spun around and placed her hand on his chest, stopping his movement. 

"I just know how he is, very protective of me when it comes to guys I date."

"Well, we aren't just dating, we are having a baby together, he is going to know we have sex."

"I know," she shrugged, "and that terrifies me."

He ran his hands down her shoulders, taking both of her hands in his and pulling them up to place a kiss on each one. "Calm down, lets go find him and have an amazing dinner, and then we will rip the band aid off before desert gets to the table."

She nodded excitedly, "We can do this, right?"

"Kate, there's not turning back now. This baby is coming in 6 months or so and you can't hide from him forever.

"I know, I know." She took his hand and began to lead him through the restaurant; she spotted her dad in a booth on the side and made her way over.

Jim stood from the table as they approached, giving his daughter a hug first, and then backing away to size Rick up. Kate swatted at his chest, "Dad, stop it." she said drawing a laugh from him.

"This is my boyfriend, Rick."

He extended his hand to shake Ricks, "Hello, Rick"

"Hello, Sir." Rick gave him a nervous smile as he shook his hand.

Dinner went off without a hitch, Jim and Rick hit it off from the start much to Kate's surprise. She had never seen her dad so accepting of any boy she brought around, but she had only been with Josh for the past few years so maybe age had a lot to do with it.

As they ordered desert Kate snuck her hand over into Ricks lap to grab his hand, giving it a nervous squeeze. Rick didn't know if she was seeking comfort or strength but he released her hand and snuck his around her shoulder, scooting in closer to her.

Jim was telling them a story about when Kate was a little girl and he could immediately sense the shift in attitude from both of them, pausing in the middle of the story to eye the both of them.

"Everything okay?" he directed the question at Kate, and when she didn't answer immediately he knew something was up.

"This wasn't just a friendly dinner invite was it?" he asked, and Kate shook her head.

"Daddy," she started but before she could get anymore out, soft tears starting trailing down her cheeks.

"Katherine." His eyes started nervously running between the two other occupants of the booth.

She wiped at her face, drying the tears before looking to Rick who gave her a simple nod.

"We're pregnant."

He didn't respond immediately, tugging at his tie, trying to loosen it. She could physically see how uncomfortable he was but he still hadn't responded.

"Dad?"

"I heard you, its just, is it getting a little hot in here?"

"Hot?"

"Yeah I feel hot."

"Dad….. did you hear me?"

"Of course I heard you, I was just hoping that maybe I heard wrong."

He looked to Rick who was looking over at Kate, rubbing up and down her arm nervously.

"So you got my only daughter pregnant before she graduated college, before she was married?"

"I, uh…"

"Dad, he didn't just magically get me pregnant, I was a willing participant in the whole thing."

Jim looked towards his daughter, and she could see the anger building.

"You're nineteen, Kate. Rick how old are you again?"

"26" Rick responded quickly.

"Old enough to know how to use a condom I suppose?"

"DAD!" Kate jumped in, coming to Ricks defense, "We messed up, we know that, but there is no turning back now. I know you're shocked, and I am sure you're pretty upset, but we… We are very happy about this baby." She looked towards Rick, a smile taking over her face as she made eye contact with him.

"You're happy about this?" he questioned.

She nodded, "We are, right babe?"

He agreed, nodding his head excitedly.

"Kate, what are you going to do about school, and work. I mean you're only nineteen. You can barely take care of yourself, much less a baby."

"Dad, it's not like I'm alone. We might not be married but we are committed to each other and this baby."

"What happens if things don't work out between you two?"

"Dad, we are going to be fine, I promise. We love each other, and no matter what we are going to love this baby."

"How are you going to afford a baby Kate, or your apartment?"

"Well, we haven't really discussed it yet, but I'm sure once its closer to the baby coming I'll probably give up my apartment, and the baby and I will live with Rick and his daughter."

"His daughter? So you already have another child, with another woman."

"DAD, STOP IT!" Kate snapped at him.

"Well?" Jim asked Rick adamant for a response.

"Yes, I was married to her mother, but things didn't work out. I have full custody of Alexis now."

"I see."

"Dad stop being so judgmental. I might be young but I am an adult, and I know that me finishing school would have been ideal before I had a child but sometimes things happen. This is just the path my life has taken."

"So you're just giving up on your dreams? Stay home and play housewife and mommy?"

"Dad, law school was not my dream, that was yours and moms. And i'm not playing housewife and mommy. I am going to be an actual parent to a real baby, and I have an amazingly supportive boyfriend, who can take care of me and our baby. I wont have to stress about paying bills, and buying diapers, Rick is more than capable of taking care of us."

"So you're just going to live off him."

"Yeah, she is, for a while anyways." Rick jumped in to help Kate out. "I have plenty of money, if she doesn't want to work ever that's fine with me. She can do whatever she wants after the baby comes. She will still have the opportunity to chase her dreams. I am great at playing mister mom. I've been doing it for four years already."

"Well you two seem to have it all figured out." He said as he placed his napkin on the table, sliding out of the booth.

"Dad, where are you going?"

He turned to look back at them sitting in the booth, "I cant give you the response you'd like from me. I'm gonna need a few days to process this."

She nodded at him as he turned to walk away from the table.

XX

"Rick," she yelled from the bubble bath that he had run for her. He was trying to help her relax after the stressful dinner they had just endured.

He peeked around the door frame, he had been watching tv in bed, waiting on her to get out and come cuddle.

"What babe?"

"I'm hungry."

"Again?"

She nodded.

"What do you want?"

"Something salty."

"I'm going to need you to be more specific."

"I want popcorn."

"Popcorn I can do."

She got out of the bath, pulling on one of his over sized t shirts and sliding into his side of the bed. He came back with a bowl full of popcorn and a glass of chocolate milk.

"How did you know I'd want chocolate milk."

"Because you've been drinking it with every meal. Which is disgusting, but your cravings are your cravings. Why are you on my side of the bed?"

"I like to face the outside of the bed, but I want to lay on my left side. Is that okay? If not, I can move."

He rolled his eyes, "Like I am going to tell you that I cant sleep on the other side even if I couldn't."

"Well now I know it bothers you," she said as she slid back over to her side.

"Kate you can have whichever side you want."

"No, I'm fine, just don't get mad at me for not letting you cuddle me because I need to lay on my left side."

He lay the popcorn down on her lap, sitting the milk on her bedside table. He slid in next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"I'll force you to cuddle with me."

She turned her head towards him, wearing a straight face, "NO"

"Wow, okay," he took his arm from around her making his way back to his side.

She took the bowl of popcorn sitting it on the bedside table and made her way to him, throwing herself halfway over him and relaxing against his chest.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it, it just takes over me."

He ran his hands down her back, tracing her spine with his fingers. "I get it, I'll gladly be your punching bag for the next few months."

"I don't want you to be my punching bag, I want you to be my soft cuddly teddy bear."

"I can be both."

She draped her arm up over his shoulder, pulling her body up over his to kiss him.

"Im kinda horny," She whispered, bringing the rest of her body over his to straddle him.

"You're always horny, Kate." He arched his neck up, catching her mouth in a kiss, and pulling her hips into his.

"Are you complaining?" she teased, biting his bottom lip before deepening their kiss.

"Not complaining," he said, sitting up so he could flip her over to lay her on her back.

She pressed her hand to his chest, pushing him back down on the bed, "I want to be on top." She slid down off the bed, stripping her underwear off, and then climbing back in between his legs. She pulled the waist of his boxers down, freeing him from the constraints of clothing, and took him in her hand. She worked him with her hand before taking him in her mouth, releasing him with a pop of her mouth and running her tongue from his balls up to the head.

They heard a small knock on the door, and someone trying to turn the handle, they both shot their heads in the direction of the door.

"Is it locked," Rick whispered, pushing Kate over to her side of the bed.

"Yeah, I locked it," She slid off the bed and ran to the dresser to find a pair of his clean boxers. "You should probably head to the shower," she winked at him, "I'll take care of the munchkin."

He ran for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him and she headed for the bedroom door. She pulled the door open to a little red headed girl sat on the floor in front of it, blanket and teddy bear in tow.

"Kate." She stood up, reaching for Kate to pick her up.

Kate picked the little girl up and threw her over her hip. Alexis laid her head down on Kate's shoulder, nuzzling into Kate's neck.. They settled in on the living room couch.

"You okay Lex?"

"I want my daddy."

"He's in the shower, but he will be out in a few minutes and then I am sure he would love to cuddle with you."

Before Rick even made it out of the shower Alexis was out. Kate didn't want to risk waking her so she just sat there rubbing the little girls back.

Rick walked out of the bedroom and noticed the two cuddled up on the couch. At first he thought Kate too was asleep but then realized that she was still soothing the little girl.

"She out?"

"Yeah, didn't take long."

"What was wrong?"

"She didn't say, she just wanted you."

"I'm sorry," he said, taking a seat at the end of the couch.

"For what?"

"For making you take care of my duties."

"Hey, they are about to be just as much my duties as yours, might as well get some practice."

He laughed out loud at that, and Kate shushed him.

"If you wake this little girl up though I will never forgive you." She teased.

"Really? So no more midnight blow jobs?"

"Castle, stop." She blushed, and her whole body became warm at the reminder of what they were in the middle of before Alexis interrupted.

"Hey, I'll take her up and put her back in bed, you meet me back in our bed and we can finish our playtime."

She nodded her head, and Rick took the little girl from where she lay in the crevice of Kate's arm. He carried her up the stairs and tucked her in, which took less than 5 minutes, but by the time he made it back to his room Kate was already sprawled across the bed on her stomach.

He lifted her arm from his pillow and slid in underneath her, pulling her to rest at his side.

"Of course you're already asleep." He placed a kiss on her temple and pulled the blankets up over them.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26- 13 Weeks

With Alexis' pre- school year over she had been spending a lot more time at home with her Dad and Kate. Some days she would still go to daycare just to have time to play with other kids, but for the most part Kate had insisted on keeping the little girl if Rick had to work.

Rick had scheduled meetings all day and it being the start of summer Kate had insisted on taking Alexis out to have some fun in the sun. They packed a picnic basket and took off for Central Park. Kate had spent many afternoons in the park with her parents as a child and she decided that she would start the tradition with Alexis and her own child.

Alexis had been quiet all morning, which was odd for the rambunctious four year old. She was usually talking Kate's ear off, but today she sat quietly on the blanket next to Kate eating her sandwich.

"Lex, you okay?" Kate asked, running her hands down through the back of the little girls hair.

"Does my daddy love me?"

"Are you kidding me? He loves you more than anything in the whole world."

"More than he loves you?"

Kate nodded, "Way more than he loves me, but it's a different kind of love."

"Why is it different?" The little girl asked, placing her sandwich back on the paper towel laid out before her and crawling over closer to Kate.

"Because you're his little girl, his family. I'm just his girlfriend."

"But, you are our family too, right?"

"We aren't real family, but I love you, and your daddy."

"So will the baby be my family?"

Kates eyes grew wide, "What baby?"

Alexis giggled and rubbed her hand over Kates belly, "Isn't there a baby in there? Lauren said her mommys belly got big before her little brother came."

Kate was almost speechless; she and Castle had talked about telling Alexis soon, but hadn't decided on a good time. Now the little girl was asking a question that she clearly already knew the answer to and Rick was nowhere around to help.

Kate placed her hand over where Alexis' sat on her stomach, "Yeah, the baby will be your family."

"So my daddy will be the baby's daddy too?"

Kate laughed at that, realizing how confused Alexis must be about everything.

"Yeah, you and the baby will have to share your daddy, is that okay?"

Alexis went silent for a moment, and Kate could tell that she was gathering her thoughts.

"Will my daddy still love me the same?"

"Well of course. He will love you even more because you will be the best big sister ever. That will make him so proud."

"I'm gonna be a big sister." A smile sprouted on the little girls face.

"Not just any big sister, the best big sister, right?"

"Oh yeah! I'm gonna teach the baby everything."

"Like what?"

"Like how to fly a kite, and how to color, how to say her ABC's."

"Her? We don't know if it's gonna be a boy or girl yet."

"When will we find out?"

"Not for another month or so."

"Oh, that's a long time."

"Not that long, we will find out when we get back from the Hamptons, around your birthday."

"Who is going to tell you? The doctor?"

"Yeah the doctor will be able to see it's private parts, then she will know if it's a boy or girl."

"Can I come?"

"I don't know Lex, I'll talk to your dad and see how he feels about it, and if he says yes, then I would love for you to come."

The little girl seemed to deal with the whole thing a lot better than Kate had expected. Kate looked down at her belly, and she could see how Alexis had caught on. If the small girl could tell, she was sure everyone else could as well, which made her a little nervous. She had been anxious about the press finding out, fearing they might tear into her if they found out about her pregnancy before really finding out about their relationship.

After spending most of the afternoon in the park with Alexis, Kate decided to take the little girl home and lay her down for a nap. She might have been the one that needed the nap more but Alexis cuddled up with her on the couch and they were both fast asleep by the time Castle came in from his meetings.

Kate was woken up when the Chinese delivery man rang the buzzer. She heard Rick thank the man and shut the door before sitting up, sliding her arm out from under Alexis' neck.

"Chinese?"

He turned back towards her giving her a little smile and nodding towards the kitchen for her to follow.

"I ordered your favorite, don't worry."

"Oh, I wasn't worried, I know you know better than to tease a pregnant woman with food."

She ran her hand down his arm, pulling his hand around her waist as he sat the food on the counter. He pulled her closer, wrapping his other arm around her waist and interlocking them.

"That bump is really growing," he said looking down between them.

"Yeah, about that….. Lex asked if I was having a baby today."

His eyes grew nervously, "Oh did she? What did you tell her."

"I told her that I was, and then she had a million questions about if she and the baby had the same daddy and if you would still love her," her eyes met his, "Which I assured her you would still love her, and probably love her more for being an awesome big sister, which made her even more excited."

He let out a deep breath, "Wow, well I'm glad it went well. I have been pretty nervous about telling her."

"Yeah, me too, but I think that we are pretty much in the clear now."

He leaned in and gave her a kiss, and she opened her mouth allowing him more access.

"I really love it when you kiss me like that." She giggled as they broke apart.

"Like what?"

"I cant explain it, it just gives me butterflies."

He leaned in again capturing her mouth in an even more passionate kiss, their tongues twirling around each other, and Kates hands pulling at the front of his shirt, bringing their bodies into closer contact.

"Ewww, is that how you made the baby?"

Both of their heads shot to the little girl who had climbed up onto a barstool and sat down.

"Kind of." Rick let out a laugh, running his hand down over Kates bottom and giving it a sqeeze.

"Is that what happened when you went to the Hamptons without me? You made a baby?"

Rick looked towards Kate, giving her the eye.

"Hey, I didn't go into any details sir, don't look at me like that." She teased.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that we did a little too much kissing in the Hamptons."

Kate shoved at his arm, "I think it was the perfect amount of kissing."

"Oh it was perfect, but we weren't expecting to leave with a baby Lex."

"mmmhmmmm," the little girl shook her head, "If you didn't want the baby then why did you make it."

"Oh Lex," Kate interrupted, "It's not that we don't want the baby, we can not wait for this baby, it was just a surprise at first."

"Just like you were." Rick interjected.

"I was a surprise too?" Alexis mouth dropped, "Were you and mommy excited about me?"

"Oh my goodness are you kidding me," Castled circled the bar and took the little girl in his arms, spinning her around and placing her on his hip, "I was so excited to meet you. I don't ever remember a time where I was as excited to meet someone."

"Was I cute?"

"Oh, the cutest, and you had these teeny tiny fingers and toes," he pinched at her feet.

"Daddy stop it." he giggled, shaking her feet away from his touch. "Put me down, no more tickles."

He sat her on the ground and bent down to his knees in front of her.

"You were so cute, you still are soo cute, but now you have hair."

"I didn't have hair when I was little?"

"Nope, barely any."

Kate watched their exchange from the other side of the counter, watching Alexis' eyes light up at her dads excitement.

"You two hungry? This baby and I are starving and we are going to have to eat without you."

"oooh, no, dad, the baby, how do we feed it?"

Both Adults laughed at the question.

"By feeding its mommy." Kate told the little girl, "The baby gets nutrition when I eat."

"So shouldn't you be eating a lot more than you do?"

"I do eat more than normal, but sometimes it's things I shouldn't be eating too much of, like ice cream, and cookies."

"The baby doesn't like ice cream and cookies?" Alexis questioned.

"No the problem is, that the baby and me both like them too much."

After dinner, and bath time, Kate left the story time to Castle, she loved helping out with Alexis but after today she thought it might be best to just give them a little time alone.

Kate lay on her back in the middle of the bed with her night shirt pulled up under her breast, ice cream bowl proper up on her belly, watching a rerun of 'Friends' when Castle walked in the room.

"Our baby is not your own personal TV tray ya know." He teased, sitting at the end of the bed as he pulled his jeans off.

"Don't start with me tonight." She looked towards him, scooping another bite from her bowl and slowly licking it off the spoon.

"You're a tease."

She pointed down to her belly, "Not a tease."

"fair, fair." He laughed, crawling up next to her and removing the bowl from her belly, placing it on the bedside table, his hand taking its place.

He placed a kiss over her belly button and started to talk to the baby. He had been doing this every night before bed.

"How is my baby doing?"

"Castle, the baby is fine, but its mommy could really use some love."

"Oh really? What kind of love?"

"Not that kind, that's for sure. I was thinking more like a back rub."

"Well turn on your side. All you have to do is ask, Kate."

"I did, its not like I am in pain, just a little sore, and a lot tired."

"A lot tired? You took a nap just a few hours ago."

"Well harvesting a baby takes a lot of energy."

"Oh does it?"

She nodded, pulling him down to lay next to her. She wrapped her arm over his body, tucking herself into his side and placing a kiss on his chest.

"I thought you wanted a back rub."

"I do."

"Well turn over then."

She rolled her body over onto her other side, grabbing the pillow from the top of the bed and tucking it under her belly.

He started at her shoulders, working the knots out.

"That feels so good, thank you for being so amazing to me."

He hadn't noticed any uneven breathing but he could hear that she had been crying in her tone.

"Whoa, whats wrong?" he asked as he pulled her shoulder down rolling her back onto her back.

Her eyes were red, she had definitely been crying.

She anxiously ran her hands over her stomach.

"Kate…."

"I'm just scared Castle."

"Scared? We still have plenty of time before the baby comes, you will be more than ready by the time he or she arrives."

"I just don't know if I can do this."

"It's a little too late for that babe. We are gonna do this, and you are gonna be such a great mom." 

"I don't know how to be a mom, I'm 19, I'm just a kid."

"Yeah, so what? You'll be a young mom, but I was a young dad the first time, and look how good Lex turned out."

He ran his hands under her eyes, drying the tears that were running down her cheeks, leaning in and placing a kiss on her nose.

"She is perfect."

"A little too perfect, right?"

Kate laughed, "I can't deny that. She definitely makes my days a little easier."

"Easier? " he questioned.

"I've just been struggling with this a lot lately. I can physically see this baby growing inside of me now, which is absolutely terrifying. My body is going through the weirdest changes. Castle I swear milk was leaking from my breast the other night in the bath."

"Wait," his eyes grew, and he looked down at her chest, "Why didn't you call me in there for that?"

"Castle, really? Its embarrassing." 

"Embarrassing? You're crazy. There is nothing embarrassing about what your body is going through. It's growing a human being, a teeny tiny human being. I mean really how is growing a baby inside your stomach even suppose to be normal? It's a miracle."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it." She looked down at her stomach where his hand lay protectively over their baby.

"Its okay to be nervous and scared. That feeling is only going to intensify once the baby is here. I promise you though, if you let me, I will help you every step of the way. You aren't going to be alone, you're not doing this by yourself."

The tears began to well up in her eyes again, "You really are the best, I can't imagine doing this with anyone else."

"Well you wont have to, because its gonna be me and you and Lex and this new baby and we are going to be the happiest little family in all of Manhattan."

"We are going to live together when the baby comes, right?" she asked, cocking an eye over at him.

"There is no way I am letting that baby leave my sight once it makes its way into this world. Like, I said a perfect little family."

"Okay…" she sighed, turning back to the tv.

"Kate…" he cupped her face and turned it back towards him, "Don't make me kiss it out of you."

"What are we going to do about the press. They are going to find out eventually. I don't know that I am prepared for what they'll say about me."

"Say about you? They don't know you.."

"Exactly. "She whipped her back towards the tv, trying to hide the fact that her emotions were getting the best of her tonight.

"Kate, I'll tell them whenever and however you want."

"I'd rather them never find out. I'm not really looking forward to all the criticism we will get for having a baby together when we barely know one another."

"We know one another just fine."

"Yeah, but we have only been together for what… 5 months."

"Soo… they don't know that."

"Well they know we weren't together on New Years. You were out making out with Gina." She rolled her eyes, clearing the tears that were still sitting on her cheeks.

"Kate, I know you're stressed out over this, but there is no reason to be. No matter what they say about us, we know the truth. We are happy together, and we love one another. These past 6 months or so have been crazy between us, I mean look at how our relationship started, and look at how happy we are now. I don't remember the last time I was this happy."

"Yeah, me either."

"I think we should just rip the band aid off, let the world know."

"Rick, I don't know."

"I have an event this weekend, and you are more than welcome to walk that red carpet with me and show off this," he ran his hand over her bump.

"Everyone would freak, I mean imagine what Gina would do if I showed up looking like this."

"Yeah, she is gonna freak."

"Oh, I've already mentally prepared myself for her wrath, Castle."

"Well who cares about her opinion anyway."

"You really want me to come?"

"Of course I want you there, I want you everywhere with me, forever."

A smile broke across her face, "Forever?"

"FOREVER."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 – 14 Weeks

"Castle, none of these dresses look good on me. I just look like a blob."

"Kate, come out of the dressing room. I want to see it on you."

She opened the curtain and stepped out. The floor length Navy blue dress was to die for. It haltered around her neck, and hugged her stomach in a tastefully tight way. Kate was still getting use to her growing form, she knew that the growth was all worth it and to be honest the only place she had grown at all was her belly. She still felt uncomfortable in anything other than one of Castle's loose fitting shirts and gym shorts.

Rick stood from the lounge chair and circled around her taking in every angle of the dress.

"Baby, you look… beautiful."

She smiled, and a blush formed across her cheeks.

"You really think so? You wouldn't lie right, you know I'll be mortified if all the magazines call me a beached whale."

"Kate you act like you're belly is huge, you are barely even showing, I mean seriously, I cant even tell your pregnant from the back."

"Well I feel huge."

"Well that's probably because you a human stuffed in your torso."

"A wittle baby." She teased.

He wrapped his arms around her waist as she looked herself up and down in the full length mirror.

"You really think this is the one?"

"Oh I know it is, and it's going to go so well with my blue eyes."

"Your blue eyes, since when am I dressing to set your eyes off?"

"Well you are my best accessory." He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"God you're so hot when you say cheesy things." She reached back, grabbing his belt and pulling him closer to her backside.

"Kate, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Castle, we are in public, and now that I'm getting bigger, we can't really do it just anywhere."

"I know, I know, I was only teasing."

She turned around in his arms, hooking her own back behind his neck. Their bodies didn't exactly fit together in the same way anymore. The evidence of the life they created was pushing into Castles stomach as Kate stood on her tiptoes to catch his lips in a sweet kiss. He unlocked his hands where they lay on the small of her back and ran them both around her torso and placed them on her swollen stomach.

"You are literally getting bigger and bigger every day and it is the sexiest thing ever."

She put her hands over his and pulled them from her stomach.

"It makes me uncomfortable when you touch my belly in public. I don't want attention drawn to it."

"Well get use to it because tonight my hands will be all over this bump." He teased, leaning in and stealing another kiss from her.

"Cant you tell I'm thrilled." She shot back sarcastically, "Honestly Rick, after tonight I think I will be a lot more comfortable with all of it. I just feel like we have been hiding it for so long already and once we get it out in the open, all the pressure will be gone."

"Well just a warning, some people are going to be extremely excited for us, but there are still going to be those people who say mean things. I just want you to ignore them, okay. Can you promise me that?"

"I'll try, I can promise to try."

XX

Kate sat in the back of the town car as close to Rick as possible, and he could sense that her nerves were getting the best of her. Her palms were sweaty and he could almost hear her mind running.

"Kate, we don't have to do this."

She turned her head towards him, forcing a smile. She was trying to be supportive of how he wanted to handle things. After all, he was the one with all the media experience. She was a small time model, and had never made the tabloids.

"Rick, im okay, I promise."

"You'd tell me if you didn't want to do this, right?"

She met his eyes again, a genuine smile making its way across her face.

"I might be a little nervous, but I'm not backing out."

He smiled and leaned in, placing a tender kiss on her lips.

"Don't worry I'm not sending you out there alone, we are doing this together and I wont leave your side tonight, I promise."

"I'm beginning to feel like I'm not the only one that's scared shitless."

"I'm not scared, more anxious."

"Well we're here…" Kate looked past Castle and out the window, there were hundreds of photographers and entertainment reporters lined up alone the red carpet. The butterflies took over her stomach, she felt like she was about to throw up at the sight of so many people. So many people that she was about to invite into her little world.

"You ready?" he asked, as he placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Castle knocked on the window, signaling that they were ready to exit.

Castle made his was out first, turning back to grab her hand and as she stood she put on a huge smile. Even if she was nervous, she was not going to show the world that side. She was going to be strong and confident, she had nothing to be ashamed of.

As they made their way down the red carpet, no one took notice to the swollen belly that Kate was sporting. They almost made it all the way down the photoline before anyone took notice. Kate saw a photographer whisper to another one by his side and then point to her belly. She gave them both a smile and a nod, gripping Castles hand tighter as she leaned into him.

As they made their way to the interview line Kate began to have second guesses.

"Maybe I should just let you do the interviews, I don't have to be a part of that right, I mean they don't even know me, they wont want to talk to me.

"Kate…. You're coming with me, we have already made it this far, if you don't want to answer a question they ask, just deflect."

"Okay, Okay, I can do that."

They made their way to the first reporter, Castle leading the way but dragging Kate along by the hand. As they made their way to the tall blonde woman, her eyes grew at the sight of Kates belly, a smile stretching across her face.

"Ricky, I didn't know you were having another baby."

He smiled back towards Kate, gripping her hand tight. 

"Yes I am. This is my girlfriend Kate."

The woman extended her hand to shake Kates.

"Nice to meet you Kate, do you mind if we ask a few questions? If at any time you don't want to answer just ask us to move on and we will, we can edit the interview."

Kate nodded towards the interviewer and then towards Castle.

"So Kate, how did you and Rick meet?"

"We met at a charity luncheon that we both attended."

"Was it love at first sight?"

Kate laughed at that, smirking towards Caste, and nodding towards the interviewer, a blush forming on her cheeks.

"I think it was for me, and I hope it was something special for her as well." Castle interrupted, saving her.

The interviewer directed her questions back to Castle, noticing Kates discomfort.

"Do you mind me asking when the baby is due, and how have you been able to hide this?"

"Well we still have quite a while left in the pregnancy, I wont give a due date, but we are still quite a ways away. We don't really go to many event, we have our own little life and that keeps the media away from us pretty well."

"Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

"We do not know yet, like I told you, we still have quite a bit of time before the baby comes."

"Okay, Okay, I wont hassle you with anymore baby questions."

"You're fine, we expected baby questions, everyone gets excited over babies, right?"

The lady nodded, then proceeded to ask him about his latest book, and when to expect the next one.

As they made it through the rest of the interviews, Kate became a little more comfortable with speaking to the reporters. Their questions hadn't been as harsh as she expected, and everyone seemed genuinely excited for the two of them.

As Castle led her away from the last reporter, Kate immediately made eye contact with a livid Gina. The thin, blonde publisher was fuming and Kate knew that the hardest part of the whole evening was about to occur.

She stalked towards them, grabbing Ricks arm and pulling them both to the side.

"What is going on here."

"Gina, calm down."

"CALM DOWN, ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY, RICK?"

Rick sushed her, and that only seemed the infuriate her more.

"Do not sush me, Richard Castle. You show up tonight with this bimbo on your arm, pregnant, and you don't even tell me, how do I not know that your whore of a girlfriend is pregnant!"

The tears started to well up in Kates eyes, she was mortified. Everyone around them was staring at her, looking her up and down. Her chest started to tighten and her vision started to blur. She started to panic, looking around for a way out, somewhere to go, somewhere to hide. She grabbed Rick's hand and squeezed it, trying to signal that something was wrong, but he was focused on Gina. She could tell he was yelling, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. She felt like she was in a bubble, a shrinking bubble, and then she passed out.

Rick felt her weight falling to the ground, and immediately turned his attention to her. Dropping to his knees to prop her head up onto his lap, and checking her pulse.

"Someone call 911"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – continued..

Kate woke up to a ruckus outside her hospital room, hearing multiple raised voices going back and forth at each other. She looked to the screen beside her, and felt the belt wrapped around her stomach. The baby's heartbeat was steady and healthy.

She pressed the call button and within 30 seconds a nurse was sliding through her door, lightly closing it behind her.

"Where's my boyfriend? My baby is fine, right?"

The nurse looked up at her, "Would you like to see him? Your dad refused to let him in, but now that you're awake you can give us permission, and I'll call a doctor in to see you."

Her blood began to boil and tears started to well up in her eyes again, "My dad refused to let him in. You're kidding, right? Actually, I'd like to see my father first."

The nurse nodded, "I can do that, but only If you'll promise to stay calm. There is a reason you're here in the first place and your baby is our number one concern right now.

"Is everything okay, is my baby okay?"

"Your baby is fine, but your doctor is concerned about what happened today."

"I want to see my dad, please."

"I'll go get him."

The nurse exited the room and within seconds her dad came flying in.

"Katie, I'm so glad you're okay."

He rushed to her side, reaching for her hand, which she jerked away immediately.

"Don't touch me…." She hissed at him, "I can't believe you wouldn't let Rick in here, he is my boyfriend, and the father of my child. Imagine if it was mom in here and you weren't allowed in to see her, to check on her."

"She is my wife."

"HE IS MY …. EVERYTHING!," She choked out. "He and this baby are my family, the quicker you realize that, the better off everyone will be. I know you love me, and I know you're angry but you have no right to keep him from me."

"He is not your family…. I am your family, your mother is your family."

Kate turned her head towards the wall, unable to look at her father anymore.

"Leave."

"Katie."

"I wont ask you again."

A few seconds of silence passed and then she heard the door close. The tears began to fall at rapidly, she didn't want to fight with her dad. She knew how much her father loved her, but she had to take her stand. He needed to understand that this was not just some random guy that knocked her up. This was the man she loved, and the father of her unborn child.

Rick opened the door, sticking his head in first to make sure that the coast was completely clear. Then rushing to her, grabbing her face and kissing her senseless.

"Baby, how are you, how is the baby?"

"We are both fine, I think. The doctor still hasn't come in, but the nurse said the baby is fine."

"I am so sorry, I should have never made you do this tonight, I'm so, so sorry." His face fell down to look at his knees, he couldn't quite make eye contact with her. The guilt was overwhelming him.

She pushed his chin back up so that she could look him in the eye. "I don't blame you Rick, this is not your fault."

"If I would have just listened to you. You were nervous, and uneasy about this whole thing."

"Rick, I chose to do this, I was nervous, but I never imagined things would happen like they did. I didn't anticipate Gina and her outburst, and there is no way you could have either."

"I should have told her before tonight. I shouldn't have hid it from her, I just didn't want her to attack me, I was a coward. Instead she attacked you, in public, in front of everyone, and I am so sorry."

"Rick, it's over, it's okay."

"Why are you so calm right now, you should hate me, I thought you did, because your dad wouldn't let me in. He blames me, hell I'd blame me too."

She took his hand pulling it back up to her stomach, and placing his palm flat against her belly.

"This baby is my only concern right now, and as long as he or she is safe, then guess what… I am one happy mommy."

A smile spread across his face, and he leaned over her, placing a kiss on her slightly swollen stomach.

The door opened and both of their eyes shot to the door. Kate's doctor walked through the door, and she didn't look happy. In fact, she looked a little angry.

"I'm glad you're awake." She said as she walked over to her side, checking the monitors and then taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed as Rick.

Kate watched him impatiently, waiting for him to talk, to give her some information.

"Is everything okay?"

"For now, but I'm a little concerned with your health Kate. Your blood pressure is extremely high, and I'm also a little concerned about your stress levels after what happened today."

"I know, things got out of hand today, but this was not anticipated. I didn't know that any of this…"

"It's my fault." Rick interrupted.

"No its not Rick."

"Yes, yes it is. I should have never made you go to this event with me. I knew she would be there, and I knew she would be unhappy with me showing up with you, pregnant, without telling her first."

"Rick, it's none of her business." She reached out running her hand down his cheek.

"You're right, it's not, but I can understand why she would be shocked and upset and I should have never exposed you to that."

"You're right, Rick. You shouldn't have exposed her to that. She is pregnant, and stress is the number one cause of problems during pregnancy. Your baby is healthy and don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited about that, but things could have ended much differently. Just because you're out of the first trimester doesn't mean you're in the clear."

"We know, we want to protect this baby, and like I said this was not intentional. Rick would never intentionally have put me under any stress. He has been perfect throughout this pregnancy."

"I don't doubt that, I saw how passionate he was about you while arguing with your father about seeing you."

Kate smiled towards Rick whose face carried no happiness, he was stressed and tired and she could tell that the worry had taken over him today.

"Like I said, your baby is fine, and so are you, but I'm still ordering you to bed rest. Your blood pressure is too high for someone that is only in their third month of pregnancy."

"Okay, I can do that. How long?"

"I'll start with a week. I'll see you in my office in a week and then we can determine where to go from there. If the problem persists I might have to admit you into the hospital so we can get it under control. Until then, you can go home, and Rick, make sure she stays off her feet."

"I will carry her to the bathroom if I have to." He responded.

"No, you wont, I can walk to the bathroom, dork." She laughed, swatting at his chest.

XX

"Rick, seriously, you don't have to hold on to me while I walk to the bedroom, I'm not crippled."

"I just want to make sure you don't fall."

"Fall? Why would I fall?"

"I don't know, but I never imagined you'd pass out on the red carpet either."

"First of all, we weren't on the carpet anymore, thank you very much."

He released his hold on her, letting her lead the way to the bedroom, following closely behind.

She stripped out of the sweat pants and shirt Rick had purchased from the store down the street from the hospital and got into bed naked.

"No clothes? Really? How do you expect me to survive, with you, like that." He pointed at her.

"I'm more comfortable this way, so maybe you should just sleep out there." She pointed back towards the door.

"oohhhh really," he walked towards the bed, throwing himself down beside her and pulling her into his body, "You want me all the way out there? If that's what you want, then I'll gladly go, but who's going to rub your back as you go to sleep? Or bring you chocolate milk in the middle of the night?"

"You can buy me a bell to ring." She teased, cupping his face and kissing him hard.

"I think I'll take my chances in here, I can't be away from you and the little bug in there." He said, running his hands down her naked body to the bump in her middle.

"Bug"

"Yeah, bug, I don't know, don't ask."

"Well now I have to ask."

"Well I don't have and explanation, it just came out."

"It's cute, babe. Our little bug." She ran her hand down over her belly, meeting his hands, both admiring the little life growing inside of her.

"Well you and that bug are my number one priority. I honestly didn't know what to do when your dad wouldn't let me in that room today Kate. I was on the verge of a panic attack, I just wanted to get to you and he refused to let me near you."

"I'm sorry about that, don't worry though, I let him know how disappointed I was."

"Oh did you?"

"Yeah he tried to tell make excuses for himself, and I told him that you were MY family now and that he couldn't keep you from me."

"How did he take that?"

"Not too well, but I made him leave, and I think that he knows how much he hurt me, and hopefully he will come to his senses about everything."

"I don't want to fight with him Kate, I want to get along, I mean we are going to be around each other for a long time, we have to get along."

"I know, and he will come around. It will be better once we're married, ya know, or at least engaged."

"Whoaaaaa…" he backed away from her, retreating to his side of the bed.

She reached for his arm. "I mean he couldn't keep you from me if we were married."

He began to rub his brow, keeping silent, but in thought. "Kate, I don't…"

"Rick, it's fine. I was just saying."

"I… Just… I don't think we are ready for that step."

"Your right, I…. I'm just being hormonal, and not really thinking straight." She retracted, trying to evade what was clearly something he was uncomfortable with.

"It's not that I don't love you, or want that with you someday. Just not yet."

"I understand," She rolled over to her other side, "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?" She asked, trying to get him away from her as quickly as possible so that he couldn't see how upset she was getting. She knew it was just her hormones, but it still stung a little that he wasn't even considering the possibility of marriage for them yet. They were about to have a baby together, and they were happy.

He placed a kiss on her shoulder before getting out of the bed and heading for the door.

As soon as he was out of the room, she got up and fled to the bathroom. She needed space, and to be alone, and she knew that he wouldn't allow either of those things if he saw her upset.

She ran her bathwater and lit the candle Castle had put on the vanity for her. She sank into the bath and immediately felt relief. A hot bath had always been her go to when she was stressed or upset and after the events of the day she felt it necessary to take a time out for herself.

She was surprised that Castle didn't come knocking on the door. He must have seen the dim light from under the door and decided to leave her be, which she appreciated.

When the water started to get cold she got out, wrapping herself in a towel and heading back into the bedroom, she noticed that his pillow was gone from his side of the bed. She didn't know what that meant. Was he mad at her for asking, or was he protecting himself from having to discuss the matter further. She threw on a pair of cotton panties and one of his shirts and headed out to the living room.

He was lying on the couch, superhero blanket stretched over his body watching cartoons.

She walked around the end of the couch, taking a seat in the chair next to him.

"Babe, why are you out here?"

"I thought maybe you needed some space. I don't want to upset you anymore, it's not good for the baby."

"I'm not upset. I understand, and we don't have to discuss it anymore, not until your ready."

He sat up on the couch, bowing his head down into hands. She could hear him taking deep breaths.

"You're scaring me Rick." She said, moving over to sit next to him, and rubbing his back, while rubbing her stomach with her free hand.

"Kate, I don't want you to feel like I don't want this, that I don't love you, because I do. I love you so much, and I love this baby, and we are going to be a family."

"We already are Rick. You, Lex, bug, and me, we are a family. A ring on my finger does not make that any more so. I'm not going to lie, of course it's been on my mind since we found out about the baby. I never wanted to be single and pregnant, but I'm not alone, and you don't ever make me feel alone. That's all I can ask for at this point."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey," she reached out grabbing his face and turning it towards her. "Do not be sorry, we are fine, we are going to be absolutely great. If we never get married, I will be completely okay with that, as long as I have you to hold me at night."

"Kate, clearly you aren't okay with that. I saw the disappointment in your eyes when I freaked. I saw how much it hurt you."

"Okay, so what. Of course I want you to want to marry me, but I took a time out, and I thought about things. I have every right to have my feelings a little hurt, but you have every right to doubt me, and this relationship. That is completely my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have fucked Josh in the beginning; then you wouldn't have a reason to doubt me."

"Kate, I don't doubt you."

"Yes you do. I see it in your eyes all the time. The insecurity you get when other men look at me."

"Kate…"

"No, it's fine. I can't change what I did. I know I can't, and I accept that, but Richard Castle I promise you, I will never stray from this relationship, I will do whatever I have to do to make you feel secure again. So come back to bed, and hold me, please." She smiled, threading her fingers through his and pulling him up as she stood.

He stood from the couch, pulling her back towards him and wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you Katherine Beckett."

"I love you more."

"No, not possible."

"How so?"

"Because you're giving me….. this." He placed his hand on the side of her swollen stomach, pressing in just enough to feel that it was still there, safe and real.

"No, you gave that to me, you cant take it back." She smiled up at him, lifting up on her tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Can we at least share?" he laughed, taking her hand and pulling her back towards the bedroom.

Xx 

**I couldn't leave you all hanging any longer. Hope everyone is still enjoying the story. I also gave you a longer chapter this time to make up for the last one being so short.**

**Reviews are always nice, and motivating. :)**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The next morning Kate woke to a cold bed, reaching over to search for her missing bed warmer, who was conveniently nowhere to be found.

"mmm…Bacon." She said, capturing the scent that was coming from the kitchen.

She slid out of bed, wrapping Rick's robe around her shoulders to help warm her body and went on the hunt for food.

"Oh my gosh I am starving babe, it smells amazing."

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Gina sitting on top of a barstool in the kitchen.

"Rick…." She threw her hands up, backing away from the evil blonde woman who had publicly embarrassed her and caused her to pass out in front of hundreds of people.

"Kate," Gina stood from the stool, throwing her arm up in front of Rick to stop him from rushing to Kate's side. "I just came to apologize. What I did, how I reacted… I am ashamed, and I am so sorry. I was reacting out of jealousy and it was totally unacceptable. I have decided that I will no longer be handling Ricks deals, someone else from black pawn will be taking over those duties."

"LEAVE" Kate yelled at her, looking to Rick for something.

"Yes, of course."

Gina turned to grab her purse from the counter, not making eye contact with Rick or Kate as she walked towards the door, pulling it open and leaving without an argument or another word.

"What the hell was that."

"I didn't know she was coming, calm down. Have a seat Kate, you're not suppose to be up."

She was breathing heavily, trying to calm herself down.

"I think I need to go back to my apartment. I can't deal with this. If it's not one thing it's another."

"Kate just calm down, she is gone."

"Rick I don't care, it's always something. I can't seem to keep my emotions under control when I'm around you. Maybe it's my hormones, maybe I'm crazy, I don't know, but I have to get out of here."

"Kate you know I cant let you do that."

"Let me? Watch me…"

"Kate, calm down. I am not trying to fight or argue with you. You think I wanted her here. I slammed the door in her face at first. Then she knocked again, she apologized and stepped down as my publisher."

He reached for her and she slapped his hands away. "Stop telling me to calm down."

She backed away, creating more distance, "Rick, I'm serious, I need to go. I don't want things to escalate. I'm trying to remain as calm as possible right now, but I have to get out of here or I'm gonna go crazy."

"What is going on?"

"That woman…" She gasped, covering her mouth with her hand and falling to her knees.

Rick fell to his as well, making sure that she was okay.

"Kate, now you're scaring me."

"She could have cost me my baby, do you not care at all."

"It's my baby too Kate, of course I care."

"Then why would you let her into this house."

"She wanted to apologize Kate."

"I don't care what she wants, she doesn't deserve anything from me, or you. Would sorry have been enough if something would have happened to this baby."

"No, of course not. Our baby is fine though, but it wont be if you keep doing this to yourself. You have to calm down."

He pulled her into his lap, holding her tight against his chest.

"Maybe you should go stay with your parents for a few days, take a break from all of this. I don't want you to be stressed out anymore."

"Which parent Rick. My dad who hates you or my mom, who didn't even show up to the hospital to see me."

"Kate…"

"Don't Kate me. I don't have anywhere else to go. Take me to my apartment."

"Kate I'm not taking you to your apartment. Lets go to the Hamptons house. It's beautiful there this time of year. The beach is warm and you can relax with no stress from the city."

"I don't want to go to the beach, I want to go home Castle, please." She was fighting through her tears, choking after each word.

"Just please stop crying and calm down. Deep breaths babe."

As she took in a deep breath and released it she could feel her body beginning to calm itself. They sat in silence for a few minutes while Castle ran his hand up and down her back, trying to help her relax.

"I'm sorry I freaked out."

"It's understandable, like you said, we don't owe her anything, I just thought you might like an apology. I didn't really care about her wanting to apologize as much as I cared about you deserving one."

She tightened her hold around his waist, pressing her ear into his chest as he held her tight.

"I just want to forget about all of this Castle. I want to be happy and healthy. The only anxiousness I should be feeling is whether I'm having a boy or girl and how I'll decorate the room."

"What do you want?" he asked.

"What?"

"You want a boy or a girl?"

She sat up, drying the tears from her cheeks. "I haven't really thought much about it."

"Liar." He smiled at her, standing up and reaching his hand down to help her up.

"Am not."

"You can't actually think that I believe that you haven't thought about the sex of the baby."

"I mean I've thought about it, but I don't really have a preference."

"Liar."

He turned to walk back to the kitchen to make her a plate, and she followed hot on his heels.

"Stop calling me a liar."

He turned around and put his arms out to stop her.

"Katherine Beckett, if you don't sit on that couch right now, you and I are going to have big problems." He pointed to the couch, his face was stern but she could tell he was just being protective.

"Fine, but I want extra bacon. I'm craving anything salty."

"Fine."

She threw herself down on the couch dramatically, and he shot his head in her direction, rolling his eyes. He finished loading up her plate, making sure to add extra, extra bacon.

He placed the plate on her stomach, making sure it was nicely balanced before letting it go, and then taking a seat at the end of the couch.

"Thought you said it wasn't my own personal tv tray." She teased.

"Well, I knew you'd put it there anyway and I'm trying to be as accommodating as possible." He teased back.

"I love you."

"I know."

"Do you think sex is completely out of the question?"

He didn't even look up from his plate, he just continued to pick at his food quietly. Choosing to ignore her, because it was very apparent that she was just trying to get him worked up, knowing good and well that they couldn't have sex until she saw the doctor next week.

"You're no fun." She kicked her foot gently into his side.

"No fun? You're trying to get me worked up, knowing good and well that we can't have sex."

"It's just a week Castle."

"I know. I'm not the one that was bringing it up, I'm not worried about it."

"You want a blow job?"

"Kate, eat your bacon and shut up."

She let out a loud chuckle, shoving a piece of bacon in her mouth.

"Do you still think I'm sexy Castle?"

Castle choked on his eggs, taking his water and washing them down. He then took her plate from her, sitting it on the table.

"Hey that's my bacon."

"Oh shut up."

He lifted her up and slid in next to her, pulling her body up over his to cuddle with her.

"I think you are the sexiest woman I've ever met."

"Even though I have a baby stuffed in my belly."

"Even more because of that baby in your belly. Watching your body change, and grow, it's an amazing thing."

"It's cool, right? I am already so excited to meet this little bug and I don't even know if it's a boy or girl yet. I don't have a name picked out, or a nursery theme."

"I hope it's a boy." Castle interrupted.

"Really? Why?"

"I mean I'll be happy either way, but I have a girl already."

"I want a girl."

"I thought you said you hadn't thought about it."

"Honestly, I hadn't. Now I have, and I want it to be a girl."

"Well too bad, it's a boy."

"You don't know that."

"I have a feeling."

"Wanna bet?"

"Kate, are we betting on our baby?"

"Yes we are. It's a girl."

"Fine, what do I win whenever we find out it's a boy?"

"What do you want?"

"I want to name him. If it's a girl you get to name her."

Kate was quiet for a minute, "Fine, but we have to have final approval of the name from Lex. If she hates it, then it goes."

"Fine. Speaking of Lex, I think I should probably tell mother that she can bring her home now."

"Yeah, If I have to be couch ridden today at least I'll have Lex to keep me company."

"What about me?"

"I actually prefer you stay away, because I'm hormonal, and more importantly horny, and we cant have sex."

"Yeah, your right."

He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, running his hands down over her butt and giving it a squeeze.

"Castle, stop it."

"I cant." He placed a kiss on her mouth, and when he tried to pull away she wrapped her hand around his neck, pulling him back in and deepening the kiss.

"Hey, slow down. No sex."

"For me. That doesn't mean I can't do dirty things to you."

Before he could deny her she was already running her hands down into his boxers.

"Whoaaa," He let out a moan as her hand took ahold of his already hardened length. She started to pump up and down slowly for a minute before pulling her hand out and dropping to her knees on the floor.

"Sit up and drop your pants." She demanded, trying to get comfortable.

"Kate, you don't have…"

"Shut up Castle, you don't tell your girlfriend no when she is trying to blow you."

"It's just… you're pregnant, and I don't think you should be on floor, on your knees."

"Well hand me a pillow then."

He did so, and then stood to take his pants off.

He flopped back down on the couch and Kate made her way between his legs. Taking hold of him again, pumping her hand up and down his shaft slowly before taking the head of his penis into her mouth. She slowly sank her mouth down over his shaft until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She made a gagging noise, which made Castle eyes roll into the back of his head. His hand made its way into her hair, and he helped guide her as she sucked and bobbed over him.

"Kate, im about to…"

She released him from her mouth, "I want to taste you."

His eyes shot down to her as she took him back into her mouth, continuing her movements. Their eyes were locked as she continued to suck and bob over him. She knew he was close when he took his hand and placed it on the top of her head, guiding her faster. She tightened her grip on his shaft and started to suck harder, giving him a tight space to arch into.

"more, more…." He panted as she sucked harder, using her hand to help him along.

And then he was done for, spilling into her mouth as he let out a deep grunt. She continued to suck on his head, tasting all of him.

When she was done, he pulled her up over him, capturing her mouth in a kiss.

"Can we do that more often?" He asked as he kissed her again, nuzzling into her neck.

"Can I make a weird confession."

"You have to now."

"I haven't had any cravings, except chocolate milk, right?"

"Right."

"Is it weird that I've been craving your cum."

"Excuse me."

"I'm serious. It's salty and…. Indescribable."

"I have never in my life…"

"I'm pregnant, leave me alone. Some people eat potting soil. At least I'm craving something that gets you off."

"You're right, why am I acting like this is an issue. This sounds like the American dream."

"So, can I have more?"

"I might need a few minutes, but yeah, you can have as much as you'd like." He smiled, pulling her mouth into a kiss.

**Review. :)**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 - 15 Weeks

They sat silently in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come back in with her results. Kate had been anxious all morning about whether or not the doctor would give her the okay to go about her normal life again. She had barely touched her breakfast, which under normal circumstances Castle wouldn't have let fly. He knew that she had been restless the night before. Anxious to find out how she and the baby were doing after a week of bed rest.

When the door opened, both Kate and Rick's eyes shot towards the doctor.

"Everything looks great, so you can relax. It looks like you made sure to get rest this past week and your blood pressure is back to normal, which is what we had hoped for. Please Kate, stay out of any stressful situations, and I'll see you back in a month. At which time we will be able to check to see if we can determine the sex of your baby."

Rick started to rub his hands together excitedly, looking towards Kate with a huge grin on his face.

"Rick, it's a girl. Don't look too excited."

"Oh, the two of you want a different sex?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I think it's a girl, I want it to be a girl. He want's a boy, because he already has a girl."

"Oh!" the doctor said excitedly. "That means the next appointment will be exciting."

The doctor stood from her chair, standing to rest her hand on Kate's shoulder.

"So, you two, I will see you in a month, until then, Kate.. No strenuous activity. Stay off your feet as much as possible, and have fun, don't let the stress take over your pregnancy. Being pregnant is supposed to be a fun time in your life."

As soon as the door was closed Kate jumped up and started to get dressed quickly. Rick watched as she struggled to throw her clothes on, wondering why she was in such a hurry, he reached out and took hold of her arm to still her.

"What's the hurry?"

"Well I was thinking," she turned to him, grabbing for his other hand and placing them both around her waist. "Maybe we could go home and you know," She winked, "before we have to pick Lex up from your mother."

"Wow, those pregnancy hormones are a real thing." He pulled her hips into his.

"Yeah, and it's been a whole week.. for me."

"You can't hold that against me. I was willing to wait it out. You on the…"

Kate interrupted, "Don't act like you didn't love every minute of it."

"Well of course I loved it. Up until this week you had seemed completely uninterested in oral."

"I wasn't uninterested in it, you never asked."

"Should I have to ask?"

"Have to? Excuse me…"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that it's not something that I'm going to ask of my pregnant girlfriend. If she seems uninterested then I'm not going to push for it."

"Well I am definitely not uninterested in it." She teased, lifting up on her tiptoes to push herself up into him, capturing his lips into a passionate kiss.

"Oh, I know that now, Lets get home." He said as they broke apart, grabbing her hand and yanking her to the door.

"Anxious, are we?" she teased.

"By the way you just shoved your tongue down my throat I'd say you're the anxious one."

XX

As soon as they flew into the loft doors Kate was pulling her shirt up over her head, and running towards the bedroom. Rick was hot on her tail, grabbing at her as she ran from him. When they got to the bedroom, they both started pulling their clothes off. It was a race to see who could get naked the fastest. Rick was the first one there, making his way to help Kate with her pants.

"Sorry, it takes a little longer to strip now." She sighed as she plopped down on the bed. Seeming a little defeated, Rick took hold of her hands.

"You're fine, babe. I love undressing you anyway." He dropped to his knees to help pull her pants off her legs, placing a kiss on her swollen belly while he was down there.

"You're lips are needed elsewhere right now." She said, shimmying her hips in front of him.

He looked up, a devilish grin spreading across his face. Shoving her shoulders back onto the bed, her upper body falling against the mattress.

He kissed his way up one leg, placing it over his shoulder before parting her lips, and running two fingers through her heat. He teased her a bit before leaning in, tongue diving in, he started to suck and lick, trying to taste all of her. He gently thrust a finger inside, moving in and out slowly, when he thrust in a second finger she began to moan loudly, begging Castle for more.

"Rick, I want you inside of me."

"Kate, just let me do this for you." he placed a kiss on the inside of her thigh, and continued to thrust his fingers in and out of her.

She started to sit up and his head rose again, "Is something wrong?"

"I just don't like it," She paused and his eyes grew large.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, It's not you, it's me.. It's just not as intimate as I want it to be. I want to feel close to you."

He slid both fingers out of her, sucking the juices off his fingers.

"Okay, I can do that." He stood up, shoving her farther up the bed and climbing in after her, settling in between her legs. He pulled a pillow from the top of the bed and pulled her hips up, sliding the pillow under her bottom.

"This will be more comfortable hopefully, but if it's not, just stop me, and we will figure something out, Okay?"

"I love you babe." She said, grabbing his hand and pulling it down over her swollen breast.

"You sure you don't mind if I touch?"

"They don't hurt too bad today. Just be careful."

He nodded, taking one of his hands and separating her legs more before leaning over her body. He started to massage her breast carefully before taking her nipple into his mouth.

"Ahhhh, baby." She moaned, tossing her head back and arching her back up.

He started to suck harder, drawing louder moans from her before switching to the other breast.

She slid her own hand between their bodies and ran her fingers through her own heat, running circles over her clit.

He could tell that her body was relaxing and that she was becoming more comfortable. He released her nipple from his mouth with a pop and began to run kisses between her breast and down her slightly round belly. As he worked his way lower she began to tense up again.

"Really? You don't want me to?" he questioned before going any further.

She shook her head, grabbing his arms and pulling him back up her body, capturing his mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

He slid his fingers down her belly, running them through her folds and then he took hold of his own length and began rubbing his tip at her entrance, spreading her juices over himself before thrusting inside of her. The first thrust was slow and drew a deep moan from his girlfriend. He had been with many women, but not one of them had made him feel the way she did when they made love. It was like their bodies were made for each other and every time felt like the best time.

He began to slide in and out of her at a slow, but steady pace. Spreading her legs further apart to gain more access. He leaned back down over her body, propping himself up on his elbows, trying not to smash their baby between them. He began to suck on her neck, running kisses over her jaw and lapping his tongue right below her ear where she liked it. She could feel her orgasm starting to build, causing her to squeeze her inner muscles tighter, gaining the attention of her boyfriend. He began to thrust harder and faster, urged on by Kate's hands who had found themselves grabbing tight onto his backside, where she could easily push him further into her every time he thrust. She pulled his body down tighter over hers, sucking on his neck as his thrust became irratic.

"Rick, are you almost there?"

"Yeah, babe, but after you." he slowed his pace, putting his own orgasm off until he got her there first.

"No, I want us to do it together."

He ran one of his hands through her hair on the side of her head, drawing it away from her face before leaning in to whisper into her ear.

"You're so beautiful." He said as he ran his tongue up her throat.

He thrust harder into her, moving at a faster pace, slamming into her, and as soon as he felt himself almost let go, he reached down between their bodies and began to move slow circles over her clit.

He felt her whole body tense under his and then she was screaming his name in his ear, causing him to immediately release into her. He slowly continued to pump in and out of her as her body sucked his dry.

He placed small kisses down her neck and over her chest as he withdrew from her body. She moaned at the loss and chills spread across her body.

"Baby," She reached for him, pulling him back down onto her body. "Just a few minutes."

He began to kiss her slowly, rubbing his hands up her sides.

"We really have to go get Lex, but tonight we can spend as much time as you want like this."

She nodded, releasing him from her hold.

"You run yourself a bath, and relax. I'll go get Alexis, and pick up dinner and then we can eat and watch a movie."

"Don't be silly, I'll make us dinner. We've been eating out too much anyway."

"Kate, you really shouldn't.."

"What? Cook my family dinner?" she cut him off, releasing her hold on him.

"Okay, okay, fine. I get it, I'll back off." He said as he got up and walked to the bathroom to get dressed.

"Thank you." She yelled out, jumping off the bed and running to the bathroom after him.

**XX**

Kate was standing in the kitchen, prepping the salad for dinner when she heard the front door swing open. Then there was a little red head running in her direction, throwing herself into Kate's legs and wrapping her arms around them.

"Hey you little monkey," Kate bent down to pick Alexis up and placed the little girl over her hip.

"Kate… you really shouldn't be holding her, she is a little heavy."

Kate's head snapped over at him, "If I want to hold the princess, I'm gonna hold the princess, right Lex?" Kate tickled her stomach.

Alexis' eyes met her fathers and she wiggled down off Kate's hip.

"Daddy told me I had to be careful because of the baby. I'm not suppose to let you pick me up anymore, because I'm getting too big."

She started to play with the little girls pigtails, "Is that what he said, huh?" Her eyes looked up towards Castle who was aimlessly moving about the kitchen, trying to avoid her.

"Well, there is a baby in there," she pointed to Kate's stomach.

"Wanna touch it?" Kate asked.

"Can I?"

Kate reached out, grabbing Alexis hand and pulling her shirt up over her belly so that Alexis' hand could lay over her stretched skin.

"That's where the baby is?"

"Yep!" Kate nodded excitedly.

The truth is, Kate had been struggling with this pregnancy. Some days everything was fine and she was totally accepting of the changed occurring to her body and the changed that were happening in her life. If you had asked her 6 months ago if she was ready for a baby, she would have assured you that a child did not belong in her life. Now she had one growing safe inside her womb, and another one that had stolen her heart along with her daddy.

When Alexis was excited about the baby, or asking questions about the baby is when Kate felt most confident. Being able to be around Alexis so much had eased her mind about being a parent. She no longer feared being a mom so young, or missing out on so many things because she was becoming a parent so young. She could feel herself settling into this life with Alexis and Rick. He had assured her that they would be a family no matter what, and this was the first time that she believed him. Alexis would be bound to this baby no matter what, and she was bound to Rick for life.

"I love you Kate,"

A smile broke across Kates face as she looked into Alexis' big blue eyes. She hoped her baby had those same blue eyes.

"I love you more Lex, don't you ever forget it." she tapped her finger on the tip of the little girls nose.

She shook her head from side to side, "I wont."

**Reviews keep me motivated to write. No reviews make me forget to write.**

**Oh, and to the guest reviewers attacking other reviewers, grow up.**

**The ones attacking me personally should get a life. **

**For people asking about my tumblr, my name on there is also "Breakingbeckett"**

**And I have a twitter but I use it for personal use only, I don't tweet anything about Castle really.**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 – 16 Weeks

Kate woke up early so that she could go to her apartment to grab some things for their Hamptons trip. It was Fourth of July weekend and it was Castle and Alexis' tradition that they spent the holiday weekend there every year. When she got to her building she got her mail before heading to her apartment. She had only stayed at her apartment a few times in the last couple of months, but stopped by a few times week to check her mail and make sure everything was okay at her apartment.

She sat on the couch trashing junk mail and opening everything else. She came across an envelope addressed to her, with no return address. She ripped open the envelope, taking out the photographs inside. She felt the heat rise throughout her body when she saw that the pictures were very personal pictures of her being intimate with Rick. They were pictures that were had been taken on her phone, that she had never shown anyone. She picked the envelope back up, searching it for something else. There was no note, no message of any kind, just an envelope with personal pictures of her. Pictures that someone had stolen from her phone. Her mind began to race, had anyone had access to her phone? Opportunity to go through all of her pictures? They had been taken in the beginning of their relationship, and she had forgotten about them. You could only see Kate's face in one of the pictures, the rest were of her body, mostly the lower half, where she and Castle were joined.

As the shock wore off, the panic took over. She pulled her phone out of her purse and called Rick.

"Where are you, I woke up and you were gone."

The tears started to fall before she had a chance to respond.

"Kate, what's wrong, where are you?"

"Rick…" she paused, trying to control her breathing, "Those pictures you took of us on my phone."

"Yes…." She could hear the fear in his voice.

"Someone sent them to me, in the mail. They have the pictures."

"Who has the pictures?"

"I don't know. There is no letter, no return address. It was just the pictures."

"Can you see our faces, can you see who it is?"

"You can see my face, not yours. What if these get out, what if my parents see these."

"Kate, calm down."

"What do you mean, Calm down? Castle, someone has pictures of me, and you, having sex."

"They have to know you right, to have them?"

"I mean, I guess they do. Someone had to have gone back a ways on my phone to find these pictures."

"Unless they hacked your phone altogether. Do you have them on your icloud? Your computer?"

"Everything is saved on my icloud Castle, but no one has access to it but me.." she paused, "Josh."

"What about him? Does he have access to it?"

"I mean, I'm sure he knew my password, it has to be him. Why would he print these off and send them to me though? I haven't seen or spoken to him in 7 months or more."

"Would he do that kind of thing?"

"Honestly I don't know, maybe. I'm gonna call him, I'm gonna ask."

"Kate, you shouldn't, we should let someone else handle this."

"You want me to hand these pictures over to someone, voluntarily?"

"Well, not really, but we might have to."

"No. Absolutely not."

"Just get your things, come home, we will deal with this together."

She hung up the phone and immediately dialed Josh's number, she knew that she was going against what Rick wanted but she couldn't help it. After a few rings, Josh sent her to voicemail. She hung up, and called again, and he sent her to voicemail again.

She was on the verge of leaving a hateful message, but she didn't want Josh to have any evidence of their conversation. If it wasn't him, she didn't want him to have proof that such pictures existed.

She shoved the pictures into the bottom of her bag, and locked up her apartment.

If he was going to ignore her calls, she was going to go see him.

She got out of the cab in front of his building and immediately saw him walking out the door. He made eye contact with her and turned the other direction, taking off down the sidewalk. She ran after him, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a stop.

"Kate, what do you want." He turned around to look at her, his jaw nearly hitting the ground when he saw the condition she was in. "You're pregnant?"

She hadn't thought about that, about him not knowing already. She ran her hand over her swollen abdomen, "Yeah, four and a half months." A smile spread across her face.

His eyes began to roam her body, taking in every new curve.

"You didn't waste any time." He rolled his eyes.

"Josh, look."

"Why are you here."

"Did you send me a bunch of pictures?"

"What?" he drew back, "I haven't sent you anything."

"Josh, please, just tell me if it was you, I won't be mad."

"What are you talking about?"

"The pictures, Josh, of me and my boyfriend." She poked him in the chest.

"Hey, look, I didn't send you any pictures of you and your boyfriend. I didn't know you had one, or that you were pregnant."

She could hear the shock in his voice, and she didn't think that he was lying.

"If it wasn't you, then how …." She looked up, and right over his shoulder she could see a man, pointing a camera in their direction, "I, I have to go, the paparazzi."

"Paparazzi, why would you worry about them.." he grabbed her arm as she started to back away from him, holding her with a firm grip, "Kate, what is going on."

"Let go of me." She yanked her arm back towards her body, causing her to lose her balance and topple over on her bottom.

Josh immediately, bent over to help pull her back up. Pulling her in close to his body.

"Are you okay? Kate, why are paparazzi following you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." she came to her feet, steadying herself. She took a step away, creating much needed distance between them. It felt odd to be so close to him and feel nothing.

"So paparazzi, a baby, what else is new, who is the boyfriend?"

"A writer."

"Are you happy."

She looked down at her growing belly, "I am happy, and excited about this baby."

He stood there quietly, not knowing what to say.

"Well, I should probably go, I'm sorry I bothered you."

She turned to hail a cab, noticing that the paparazzi was still there, taking pictures of her.

XX

When she made it back into the loft, Castle jumped from the couch, making his way to her.

"It wasn't Josh."

"How do you know."

"Because I went to see him."

"Wait, you did what? I asked you not to do that."

"Yeah, you did ask, but I don't have to do what you say. I needed to see his face when I asked him. He wasn't lying, he hasn't seen the pictures, he doesn't know anything about them or even our relationship."

"Kate, I can't believe you actually went to see him."

"I didn't go to 'see' him, Rick. It wasn't like that and you know it."

"I don't care, I don't want you around him."

"Stop being ridiculous. There are naked pictures out there that someone has access to and you're mad about me asking my ex if he is the one that has them?"

"I'm not mad."

"You seem mad." She widened her eyes, staring a hole through him.

"Not mad, I just don't want you around him."

"Well, get over it."

"Okay, let me take off to go see Gina, after you ask me not too."

"That's different."

"No. It's not different"

"Yeah, it is. Josh hasn't done anything to us. Gina, attacked me in public, and sent me to the hospital."

"So you fucking him, when we first started seeing each other is nothing."

"We weren't together, we had just met. Why are you bringing this up right now, like it's relevant. You're just trying to fight with me."

Rick let out a huff, before turning to walk away from her.

"Don't walk away from me Rick or I will walk out that door and you wont have to worry about seeing me ever again."

He whipped around and went back towards her until he was standing right in front of her.

"Do not threaten me. You aren't taking that child anywhere. I will fight you for custody. Who do you think the judge will side with. A wealthy 26 year old who can provide an amazing life for a child, or a 19 year old girl who has no money, no job, who lives off her boyfriend and cant provide for a baby by herself."

She poked her finger into his chest before standing on her tiptoes to get closer to his face.

"I never said I would keep your child from you, I said you wouldn't see me again. I am so happy to know how you really feel about me though, guess all that talk of you taking care of me was just an obligation to you. Well, you don't have to take care of me Rick."

She turned, picking her purse up from the chair and walking towards the door.

"KATE" he yelled after her, "What about this weekend."

"What about it Castle," she turned around staring back at him. "You want me to go to the Hamptons with you and stay in your big mansion and swim in your pool. Completely forget about everything you just said about me?"

"Kate, I'm sorry." He reached his hand up to cup her face, but she pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"Kate, don't do this, don't ruin this trip, for Alexis."

"Rick, I'm not going, I'm gonna pack my things, I think it's time for me to go home."

"NOOOOOO!" the little girl screamed from the top of the stairs. Kate and Rick both looking up to her, before she took off running towards her bedroom.

She must have been listening to them fight. Kate wondered how much she had heard as she took off up the stairs after her. Rick was right behind her, following her to the door where she knocked twice.

"Lex, can I come in."

"NO."

Kate opened the door anyway, looking back at Castle to signal for him to follow.

She lay flat across her stomach on her bed, face shoved in her face, body trembling from crying so hard.

Castle knelt down beside her bed, Kate took a seat right next to her on the bed. She began to rub circles on the little girls back, hoping it would gain her attention.

"Lex, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to hear any of that. 

"You don't love me anymore, or my daddy, do you?"

"Of course I do, I love you and your daddy very much." She made eye contact with Rick, and he took hold of her free hand giving it a squeeze.

"You were leaving us, just like my mommy."

"I said some things Lex, things I didn't mean, I was just mad. Daddy and I shouldn't have been fighting where you could hear."

"So you aren't leaving?" The little girl poked her head up from her pillow.

"I am going to move back to my apartment, but I'll still make time for you. Maybe your daddy will let you come stay the night with me." Rick sighed, jerking his hand away from hers when she said she still planned on going back to her apartment.

"So you and daddy aren't going to be together anymore."

"Lex," Rick interrupted, "That's grown up stuff, and you're too little to worry about that."

"Your dad is right, Lex."

"What about the baby, will I ever get to see the baby?"

"Lex the baby wont be here for a while. We will work something out by the time the baby gets here."

"So you're not coming to see the fireworks."

"No, I think I'm gonna stay in the city."

"Daddy, why did you have to fight with her, now she is leaving. It's all your fault. I don't want to go to the Hamptons."

"Alexis Harper, don't talk to me like that."

She pouted her face and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Lex, baby, you're going to have so much fun in the Hamptons."

"Not without you. You have to come Kate, you just have to."

Kate looked down at Rick, and without saying a word she turned back to Alexis, "Okay, I'll go, for you."

"You will?"

Kate nodded, "I'm gonna go finish packing, and then we will head out."

Kate moved from the bed, making her way to the door. As she made it down the hallway, Rick placed his hand around her arm, stilling her.

"Kate, look, all of those things I said, I didn't mean them."

"Sure you did, and that's okay, you don't have to apologize, I'm not going for you. I'll sleep in the guest room."

"Don't be silly, you can have our room, I'll sleep in the guest room."

"It's not our bed Castle, it's your bed, remember, you bought it."

"Kate, please don't do this."

"Do what Rick?" She asked as they made their way down the stairs. Both trying to keep their voices down so Alexis didn't hear them.

"Fight with me. We can fix this, we are both freaking out over the pictures."

"This is clearly bigger than those pictures. I'm still moving back to my apartment full time. I think that maybe we rushed into this relationship because of the baby."

"Don't say that, neither of us are here just because of the baby. We love each other."

"Well I know I love you, but I'm not really sure I believe that you love me. I'm not sure I believe anything you've told me. Because we have talked about the money situation and you seemed completely against me working right now, but I have money in my savings and I can pay my bills while I look for a job."

"Kate, you're not working. You're already 4 months along. And what are you going to do when the baby comes. You aren't going to be able to work."

"People do it all the time Rick."

"Just let me pay your rent."

"You just called me a poor, free loader, and you want me to be okay with you paying my bills now? Do you know how embarrassing that is. To know the person I love thinks so little of me. Thinks that I'm going to fail as a parent, because I don't have as much money as him."

"Kate, I didn't mean that. I was mad, and I was just being defensive. I thought you were trying to leave me, and keep me from my child."

"After we get back from the Hamptons I think it's best if we don't see each other for a while. I need space. You can drop Alexis by whenever she wants, I'll watch her for you if you need me to. I want her to feel close to the baby, so she doesn't think she is losing me or her sibling."

"Are we done? Is this how it's all going to end?" he questioned.

She let out a deep breath, and nodded. "I don't know right now."

He was at a loss for words. How had a few naked pictures turned into them breaking up and Kate moving out of the loft. Kate saw the tears forming in his eyes and she couldn't watch him cry. She headed for the bedroom to finish packing, trying to force herself away from him when all she wanted to do was bury herself in his arms. He was the person she usually ran to when things went wrong and now he was the problem instead of the solution.

He followed her into the bedroom and sat on the bed while she finished packing.

Their relationship had been a whirlwind, and it was all playing back in his mind. He couldn't lose her, not like this, not when they needed each other most. They were suppose to be a family, he had promised to be her family, and he had let her down. Attacked her over something stupid, and then things had escalated.

"Kate, I can't do this. I can't be without you." he stood from the bed, making his way to her.

He dropped to his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his check to her stomach.

She ran her hand over the top of his head and down through the back of his hair.

"Rick, I know you love this baby, and I promise not to keep you from your child."

"Kate, I love you so much, please don't leave me, please. I will beg you, I will do anything you want, I can not lose you." he was crying now, and her heart was racing.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"You're really done?" he backed away from her.

"I'm not saying that we cant work on things, I'm not giving up on us, but what you said, you cant take that back. It's embedded in my brain, and now I know it's a problem for you, I cant allow you to take care of me. If you had a problem with supporting me, why did you make it seem like you wanted to do it, that it was okay."

"It's not a problem for me. I don't know why I said that. I guess I knew it was the only way to hurt you, not that I want to hurt you. I was stupid." He slammed the palm of his hand into his forehead.

"I don't know what to believe Rick, I don't know." She shook her head back and forth, backing away from him.

"Can we just have this weekend together, and see how it goes. If you still want to move out on Monday, I will help you get your stuff back home."

"Okay," She agreed, trying to end the conversation. She was over everything and just wanted to get away from it all, especially him.

XX


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32 – 16 Weeks continued…

Kate sat in the backseat with Alexis on their drive to the Hamptons, avoiding all conversation with Rick. She didn't want to make things awkward or disappoint Alexis, but she didn't know how to feel. She wanted to forget about today, all of it. She hadn't been able to focus on much of anything other than the fact that someone out there had photo's of her being intimate with the person she loved. She didn't understand why or how it had happened, and there was no logical explanation other than someone hacking into her account to get those photos. She was thankful that Rick's face wasn't in any of them. That meant there was a chance they would never see the light of day.

When they arrived at the Hamptons house, Kate carried her bags up to one of the guest bedrooms. She chose the one closest to the master so she could be near him, just in case. She knew that she was going to struggle sleeping alone when she could be cuddled up with Rick, but she needed her space, time to think about everything that he had said to her today. She knew that he probably didn't mean most of it, but he also knew that she was insecure about taking money from him or allowing him to take care of her completely. No matter what he was going to be a part of her life, they were having a baby together, and there was no getting around that.

She had initially planned on hiding away this weekend, staying in her room, but she knew that Alexis would be disappointed if did that. So she took out her bikini and put it on, throwing one of Ricks old t shirts on over it as a cover up. She slid through the house un-noticed and made her way down to the beach. She laid out her blanket and sat down. The warm sand under her feet felt amazing. Before too long Rick and Alexis made their way down to the beach as well, Alexis stripping her cover up off and pulling out her shovels and buckets to make a sand castle.

Rick took a seat next to her on the blanket, keeping enough, but still making the effort to be there.

"You still mad at me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"More sad, less mad." She sighed, pressing her sunglasses higher on her nose so that he couldn't see her red rimmed eyes.

"Look, I know what I said hurt you, but I love you, and I love our family. We aren't perfect, neither of us, and my insecurities about Josh came out. I don't think you're freeloading off me, and I don't feel burdened by you or any of the things I've done for you."

"I shouldn't have gone to see Josh, but I was mad, and I just knew he was behind it. Now, I'm almost certain he wasn't, which makes me sick to think about. Someone else out there has those pictures."

"They are private pictures, and I understand why you would be upset about them. I was insensitive and a little selfish."

She wasn't angry at him anymore, and he could tell that she had been worrying about the pictures. They had both said things they didn't mean, but as they sat watching Alexis play in the sand things started to feel a little more normal to both of them. They were a family, and Kate knew that, she knew that Rick loved her, and wanted to take care of her. She also knew that they had both disrespected each other during their fight, and she didn't want to have that kind of relationship with him. That had been her and Josh's relationship and she had been miserable in it.

"I want us to be better, Rick."

"Better how?"

"Better than this morning, better than most of the fights we have."

She shifted her body closer to his, wrapping her arms around his arm and cuddling in close to him.

"We can work on things, but it's going to take time. We went from barely knowing each other to having a baby together. We are young, you're really young, and we both have a lot of growing up to do."

"I know, and I'm willing to put in the work for us."

"I think we should set some rules. The first being that neither of us is allowed to walk out on a fight, we aren't allowed to leave. You don't know how that felt, when you told me you were leaving. My heart dropped out of my chest, I didn't know what to do, I just want to grab you and never let you go. I cant lose you, ever."

"I'm sorry babe. I shouldn't have taken it there anyways. You know I would never leave you, right. I cant imagine being with anyone else ever again. You're it for me and I hope you feel the same about me some day."

"Someday? I do feel that way about you Kate. I am fully committed to you, and this life we are building."

She put her left hand up in front of them, wiggling her ring finger.

"Not fully committed." She looked up at him, pulling her sunglasses on top of her head.

"If you need a ring to make it real, I'll get you any ring you want."

"hahahaha" she laughed, a smile spreading across her face. "I don't need a ring, I was teasing. I don't want you to put a ring on my finger until the time is right."

"When will that time be?"

"I feel like we will know when it's right. Probably not after we have a huge fight where a lot of threatening to do things we both know we aren't going to do happens."

He let out a loud laugh, "Yeah, we need to stop doing that."

She leaned over towards him, cupping her hand around his neck and pulling him in close before capturing his lips in between her teeth. He opened his mouth for her, allowing her to dive in, and she did, their tongues were exploring, and hands started to roam quickly. It was as if they had never done this before. He pulled her shirt up over her head, exposing her growing midsection and her swollen breast.

"Whoa, those baby's are out to play today."

She backed away from him quickly, seeming very annoyed.

"and he ruins the moment."

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it."

She looked down over her body. The bikini barely covered anything. Her breast were so swollen that they barely fit inside her top.

"I should put my shirt back on."

"Don't worry about it. It's just me and Alexis, neither of us are going to complain about your boobs being out."

"Yeah, but what if someone takes pictures, I'd be mortified."

"No one is going to take pictures."

"Really, because today when I went to Josh's there was a paparazzi following me."

"Wait, why would they be following you?"

"I don't know, I just feel a little overexposed. I mean there are already naked pictures of me out there somewhere."

Alexis ran over interrupting their conversation. She was hungry so Kate put her shoes back on and folded her blanket up. Heading back to the house to make the little girl a snack before dinner.

As she stood in the kitchen making Alexis a sandwich while the little girl played in the living room, Castle snuck up behind her and placed a kiss on her shoulder, and another on her neck.

"I love you."

It was simple, and sweet and he didn't stick around long enough for her to reply. She knew what he was doing, and she appreciated the effort. As much as she wanted to stay mad at him, it was impossible. The more she thought about their fight the more insane she felt. Was she the one at fault, she should have stayed away from Josh and trusted that Rick would take care of everything. The fight would have never happened if they hadn't both been worked up over the pictures.

He joined Alexis in the living room, watching tv while the little girl played with her Barbie's.

Kate cut the sandwich in half, placing a few chips on the side of the plate and took it to Alexis, plopping down next to Rick and cuddling into his side.

Alexis got tired after a while and came up to cuddle in next to Kate, laying her head over Kate's lap and passing out.

During their movie, Rick heard his text tone go off a few times, and then his phone rang. He let it go, not moving to check on it until about the fourth time it rang.

When he made his way into the kitchen to check his phone, he yelled for Kate.

She slowly slid out from under Alexis' head, replacing her body with a pillow and made her way to the kitchen.

She walked in to Rick sitting on one of the bar stools with his head in his hands.

"Rick, babe, what's wrong."

"The pictures are out."

Her heart felt like it was beating a million miles an hour, and she started to feel warm and tingly all over her body. He stood from his stool to help her sit.

"It's gonna be okay, we are going to face it head on."

"Those pictures were supposed to be for us, not anyone else. They are private pictures, an intimate moment between us, that the whole world is going to see."

He pulled her hair back over her shoulders, trying to do anything to calm her down. 

"Listen, Kate. I talked to my publicist. The pictures already hit the internet, so maybe we should think about making a statement. Something simple."

"Yeah, whatever you want. You're the one that this stands to hurt the most publicly. I mean my parents are going to kill me. I feel like my dad already hated you and now he is going to hate you more."

"We cant worry about how other people feel about our relationship right now. Not while we are still finding our way, together."

"I'm not worried about how they feel about my relationship with you. Now everyone is going to know what I look like naked, that's embarrassing."

She was trying to be strong, holding back the tears, but they were slowly releasing from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, I am not ashamed of those pictures. They are intimate, and revealing, but those are two committed adults, who love each other very much sharing something that is suppose to be between them, and only them. Some asshole took it upon himself to share it with the world, and we cant control that now, but we can control how we react to it. This doesn't change us, right?"

"So what do we do?"

"Well we need to make a statement as soon as possible, and hopefully it will die quickly, It could be worse."

"Really? I don't see how."

"It could be a video, and it almost was, if you hadn't have done that thing you do, I would have definitely started filming, but I couldn't concentrate so I had to toss the phone." He laughed.

"This isn't funny Rick. My dad is going to know about this."

"I know it's not funny, but we are going to have to make light of it. This seems like a big deal right now, but it will go away. People will forget about it."

"You're right." She paused, taking a deep breath. "What do we do next?"

"We write a statement out and send it to my publicist." He sat at the bar next to her with a pen and paper as they wrote a statement up that he would send off.

They both agreed to keep it simple, and to the point. Expressing that the invasion of privacy was completely heartbreaking to the couple and that they hope that anyone with information on how the pictures were obtained come forward.

Kate snuck her hand over to run up and down his thigh, "Rick, I'm sorry, this is my fault. I should have deleted the pictures."

He spun his chair to the side to face her, picking her hand up from his leg and kissing her knuckles.

"This is just as much my fault. We are in this together."

"I don't deserve you, I am a complete train wreck most of the time. I'm sorry that you have to put up with me and all the stupid things I do."

"We all make mistakes, you're still growing up and so am I, and we already have one kid at home, another on the way. If we have made it this far, I think we have a good chance."

She leaned in, capturing his lips between hers.

"I think we need a reality show at the rate we're going."

He chuckled at that, standing and wrapping his arms around her waist, lifting her from the chair. She tightened her legs around his waist as he walked back into the living room.

"I love you, Richard Castle."

"Yeah? As much as I love you?"

"Way more."

"Not possible."

He sat down on the couch, she shimmied her body off of his and cuddled into his side.

"I think we should stay here for a while, you know.. hide out."

"Kate, it's going to be fine, I promise."

"Really? Because my phone just went off like four times in there and I was scared to check it."

"Don't ignore it, just face it head on, own up, and move on. Believe me, I have made many mistakes in my life. It's much easier to move on if you own up."

"I'll call my parents later and warn them if they haven't seen it."

"I'm going to have to name our son James to make up for this aren't i?"

"It's a girl, Rick."

"Oh, we will be finding out soon, don't you worry."

**The Internet is a crazy thing. **

**Hide your opinions, Hide your creativity, because a guest reviewer is out there ready to attack you because you aren't writing your story the way they want it.**

**I respect your opinion, but like I said, this is the first time I've written anything, ever, it's not going to be perfect, and it might be all over the place at times. This is something I am doing for fun, so don't suck the fun out of it. **

**If you want to criticize my work, do it respectfully. Don't just say you suck and call me names. Give me advice, help a sister out, and yank that stick out of your ass while you're at it. **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33- 17 Weeks

Kate had been able to talk Rick in to staying the rest of the week in the Hamptons so they could avoid the paparazzi for a bit longer. After the leak of their pictures neither of them paid much attention to their phones, and both tried to stay off the internet as much as possible. The week had been quite relaxing and keeping themselves in the Hamptons had turned out to best. The media had forgotten about the story by weeks end and moved on to the news of Lindsay Lohans trip to rehab.

Over a phone call with her mother Kate had learned that her parents had moved back in together, which she was annoyed with, but she also knew that she had no room to judge their relationship. It was also better for her relationship with Rick seeing how her mother loved Rick and would surely be able to rub off on her dad a bit.

They made it back to the loft by Friday evening and Kate decided she would make dinner and they could have a family night with Martha, spaghetti at Alexis' request.

Kate stood in the Kitchen, apron tied around her back tightly her ever growing stomach making it hard for her to reach into any of the cabinets.

"Castle I need a stool to climb on to reach anything. Your baby is in my way."

"My baby?" he questioned, walking around the counter, hip bumping her aside to grab the garlic powder from the cabinet.

"Yeah, your baby." She swatted his butt.

"We find out if my baby is a boy or girl next week, right?"

"Yeah, on Thursday we go to the doctor, and hopefully we will find out that there is a sweet baby girl in here." She patted her hand against her stomach.

"Hey don't pat to hard."

"Yeah because me patting my stomach is going to hurt the baby."

"It might not hurt the baby but it might be scared."

"Isn't that the same excuse you used when I asked you to be a little rougher the other night in bed."

"That's different, I just can't bring myself to do that with my child in there."

Kate lowered her voice to a whisper so that Alexis and Martha couldn't hear what she was saying as she grabbed him and pushed his back against the counter, pressing her stomach to his.

"Well that didn't work out as planned, my stomach is in the way of seducing you too." She frowned, and he pulled her mouth up to his for a kiss.

"Hey," he whispered, "so what if we have to make some changes in the bedroom, it's normal, eventually the baby will be so big it will be hard for us to have sex at all. Right now we just have to make some adjustments."

"Yeah, well at least I can still be on top for now, it doesn't hurt right? I'm not too heavy."

"Kate you've gained like 10 lbs and it's all in your stomach. It does not hurt me for you to be on top, in fact, I love it, the view is great, that big ole belly and those big…" she placed her hand over his mouth.

"Don't you dare talk about my big swollen boobs that hurt all the time."

"Well, I could always massage them for you, if you'd take your bra off while we have sex."

"I'm sorry, but there isn't anything more uncomfortable then my sore and swollen boobs bouncing around while I'm trying to have sex. Sex is suppose to feel good, not like there are a thousand needles poking you in the chest."

"It's that bad?" he reached up, cupping one of her boobs softly.

"Even that is uncomfortable." She pulled his hand away. Turning to stir the spaghetti sauce.

"I can't wait for this baby to be here just so I can touch them and squeeze them, and suck on them again." He whispered in her ear from behind as he ran on of his hands below her belly into the v of her legs.

"Castle, cool it. Your daughter could walk in at any moment."

"Doesn't that make it all worth it? The risk."

"Not with your four year old you dork." She shoved her butt back into his groin, forcing him away from her.

"You're right, but tonight I'm going to give mama all kinds of lovin."

"Not if you don't go set the table you wont.

Over dinner Kate noticed that Alexis was little quieter than normal. The usually rambunctious, talkative little girl kept quiet for most of dinner, picking at her food as though she didn't like it.

"Lex, you don't like the spaghetti? I thought that's what you wanted."

She shifted in her chair, placing her fork down on her plate, "I don't feel good."

"Whats wrong?" Kate reached her hand over, placing her hand on the little girls forehead to see if she was hot.

"My belly hurts."

"Wow, you feel really warm, Castle, where's the thermometer?"

"I think it's up in her bathroom, I'll go get it really quick."

"Don't worry about it babe, I'll take her up and run her a bath and I'll check it then. That okay Lex?"

The little girl nodded, before shimmying off her chair and over towards Kate. Kate took her hand and walked the little girl upstairs.

When they got to the bathroom Kate started her bath and then pulled out the thermometer. She had a fever, but it was only at 100.1 so she got her undressed and put her in the bath. 

"Hopefully a relaxing bath will make you feel a little bit better, it always helps me when I feel sick."

"Or when you and daddy fight." The little girl said, pulling her bucket of toys down from the side and dumping them into the water.

"Yeah, sometimes when we argue I like to take a bath so I can relax and calm down."

"Why do you and my daddy fight? I thought you loved him."

"I do love him, very much Lex, but sometimes we get into arguments because we haven't quite figured out how to co-exist." She paused, "Why am I talking to a four year old like she knows what the means," She paused again, "Why am I talking to myself right now."

"I love you Kate, I just don't want you to go away like my mommy did."

"Well, I don't think that's ever gonna happen. I think me and bug are staying put."

"Forever?"

"I hope so, if you and your daddy will have us."

The little girl giggled, "Duh, Kate."

She washed Alexis' hair and body before taking her out and drying her off. Kate enjoyed bath time with Alexis. It reminded her of her childhood and that special time each day that she got to spend with her mother. Alexis had become rather attached to Kate over the last few months, and Kate had started to feel like a mother figure to her. She had known Alexis for 7 months now and her real mother had not come to visit once. It broke Kate's heart every time Meredith would say she would call, and then wouldn't, or how she said she would spend Easter with Alexis but didn't show up.

After dressing the little girl in her onesie covered in cupcakes and tucking her in, Kate lay in bed next to her, brushing her fingers through her hair, trying to sooth her to sleep. After a while the Tylenol kicked in and Alexis was able to relax enough to fall asleep. Kate turned on the baby monitor that Rick still kept in her room because she was upstairs and he was downstairs.

Kate made her way into their bedroom where Rick was laying in bed, laptop across his lap, he was writing, and she didn't want to interrupt so she slid into the bathroom and ran herself a bubble bath. Right after she slid into the hot water she heard a knock on the door and then heard it open.

"You need company?"

She didn't respond; just shifted her body forward signaling for him to climb in behind her. So he stripped down and got in. Kate leaning against his torso, perched in between his legs.

They sat quietly for a while as Rick's hands ran around her belly over and over again.

"Do you ever get tired of touching my stomach?"

"No, I love it, I love how close it makes me feel to you, and the baby."

"You know what makes me feel close to you two?"

"What?"

"When we make love and the baby is pressed between us. It makes my heart beat fast, just knowing that we created this together, I really can't wait to meet bug."

"Really, because I'm always scared that you're uncomfortable."

"You think I wouldn't tell you if I was uncomfortable? I know it sounds crazy but I'm going to miss that when my belly gets too big for that position."

Just the talk of sex had turned her on and she reached down grabbing his right hand that was running over her belly and forcing it between her legs.

"Oh, I guess this is the part where I act as your sex slave."

"Shut up and just touch me."

"Kate if I start touching you things are going to get out of hand and this bathtub isn't spacious enough for comfortable pregnant sex."

"Pregnant sex is so boring." She complained, pressing her hands to the outside of the tub and lifting herself up.

Her ass was right in his face so he playfully grabbed it and bit it, causing her to turn around and slap his hands away.

"You're ass is getting a little bit bigger too?"

"Good big or bad big?" she asked a little self-consciously.

"The best kind of big," he smirked, staring at her ass as she looked at it in the mirror.

"It is getting kinda big, huh."

He stood from the bath, pulling the drain up to let the water out and wrapping a towel around his waist.

"You gonna let me squeeze on that tonight since your boobs are out of commission."

"Oh so now you're a butt man."

"I'm a Kate Beckett man, her boobs, her ass, her smile, that collar bone, oh my gosh. I think I'm in love."

She grabbed the towel wrapped around him and ripped it off, staring down at his fully erect penis.

"Yeah, me too." She winked at him and then took off running into the bedroom.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34 – 18 Weeks

Kate made her way into the doctor's office, Castle had told her that he would be home from his meetings by 1 and that he would take her to her appointment, but he hadn't shown up, so she was left to go alone. Today they were supposed to find out the sex of their baby, together. She didn't know if she should go ahead and find out or if she should just wait until the next appointment, she wanted Castle to be here for this, like he promised he would be.

The nurse called her name, still no word from Castle, she figured that he would at least call her, or return her calls to him. Which was made her more nervous. She couldn't remember a time when he had not returned her calls or text almost immediately. It had been over an hour since he was supposed to be home, and she had tried to call him multiple times, but no answer.

The doctor made her way into the room, noticing immediately that Kate had been crying.

"Kate, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Rick he said he would be here and I dont know what happened, but he didn't show up. He must have had to stay for another meeting."

The doctor sat on her rolling chair next to the table, taking Kate's hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"We can always reschedule, it doesn't have to be today."

"No, I want to know."

"You sure?" the doctor asked, raising a brow at Kate.

She nodded, laying down on her back and raising her shirt above her stomach.

The doctor pulled her yoga pants down below her bump.

"Okay this gel is going to be a little cold but only for a second."

She squeezed the tube of gel on to her lower stomach and pressed the transducer into her stomach.

Kate's eyes shot to the screen where her baby had just appeared. It was amazing to see the baby, who seemed to be asleep. Calm and still, with the most beautiful heartbeat she had ever heard.

"Let me find a good position, see if I can determine the sex."

Kate watched the screen as her child's heartbeat play loudly from the monitor.

"Ahhh, there we go, perfect view."

A smile spread over Kate's face as her heart began to pound. The suspense was driving her crazy.

The doctor handed her a napkin to wipe the gel from her stomach.

"Sooo.. What is it? You're killing me."

"It's a boy." A smile spread across the doctor's face as she pulled the pictures from the printer and handed them to Kate.

"A baby boy?" She stared down at the picture in her hand. She wasn't sure if the feeling in her chest was that of happiness or sadness, Castle should have been there, he would have been rubbing it in her face that he was right.

"You happy with a baby boy?" the doctor asked jokingly.

"Extremely, I know I said I wanted a girl, but it really doesn't matter to me."

"That's how most parent's are, as long as he's healthy, right."

She smiled harder at the thought of her healthy baby boy, she couldn't wait to meet him.

"He is going to be perfect."

"Well, I'll see you back in a few weeks for your check up, I'm sure your excited to tell everyone, and hopefully Rick has something extra nice planned for you for missing this."

The smile dropped from Kate's face at the mention of Rick. She had almost forgot that he has missed it, after months and months of wanting to find out the sex and he didn't show.

Xx

When Kate walked into the loft, she sat her purse down and pulled her phone from it. There was a text from Castle.

_Hey babe, Sorry I cant answer, still in a meeting, I'll make dinner when I get home, mother said she would keep Lex so we could have some time alone. Love you._

Her blood began to boil, he didn't even mention missing her appointment, or not showing up to take her. She wanted to scream at him, at anyone. She thought about calling him, telling him off, but she didn't want to fight with him, she didn't want to say something she might regret. So instead she decided to go to her parents, and after a sobbing phone call to her mother, she packed an overnight bag, leaving the sonogram picture on the kitchen counter, and bolted without a text or call to him.

Xx

Johanna came home from work and noticed the apartment was quiet, she immediately went to Kate's old room, and there she was, tucked safely into her twin size bed. She didn't want to wake her so she decided she would start dinner.

Kate woke up to the smell of her mothers cooking, after changing into a pair of leggings and one of Ricks v-neck undershirts she made her way into the kitchen and plopped down at the kitchen table.

"Hey Katie, you get a good nap."

"yeah…"

"Has he called?"

"I haven't checked, I turned my phone off when I left the loft."

"Kate, you cant ignore him, I'm sure it was an accident."

"I know, I know, I just needed time. How do you forget something this important? I know it wasn't on purpose, he would never have missed it on purpose."

"Well then you should go get your phone and call him."

She made her way to her room, pulled her phone out and powered it on. There were 3 text messages and 7 voicemails. She read the text first.

_I'm on my way home, need anything?_

_Kate, where are you?_

_Baby, I'm so sorry, please answer. I forgot, I can't believe I forgot. Just call me, please, let me know that you're okay._

She didn't even go near the voicemails, she didn't want to hear him upset, so she sat on her bed, debating whether or not she should call, and then the phone started to vibrate in her hand. A picture of the two of them together in central park popped up on the screen, and before she could change her mind she slid her finger over the screen and pulled it up to her ear.

"Kate, Kate, are you there?" he was pleading, and she could hear the fear in his voice.

"Yes?"

"Kate…."

She heard him start crying, his breathing quickening as the noise came out.

"I am so sorry baby, please, I don't know how I forgot. Please tell me where you are, I need to see you."

"I'm at my parents house."

"Come home, please, so we can talk."

"Rick…. I just."

"Kate, please, if you don't come here, I'm coming there."

She sighed into the phone. He was telling the truth, he would show up and she was afraid to fight with him in front of her parents.

"I'll have my mom bring me."

And then she hung up.

She walked back into the kitchen where her mom was cooking and leaned back into the counter.

"Can you take me back to the loft, if not I'll catch a cab."

"No, of course I can take you. On one condition."

"What mom?"

"Don't make this into something it doesn't have to be. I know you love that man and I know he loves you and this baby. Don't punish him for an accident."

"I'm trying really hard not to be upset with him mom, but its our baby, and he told me he would be there."

"Accidents happen Kate, and I think that he already feels guilty enough. Lets go so you can share the news with him and then you can call your father and I and tell us."

"I can tell you now, mom."

"I think Rick should know first."

Xx

When she made it into the loft he wasn't anywhere in sight. She made her way into the bedroom, the lights were dim and the bed was covered in rose petals. There he sat, at the end of the bed, his head down, staring at the floor, she could tell that he was mad at himself.

"Rick, what is this?"

"It doesn't matter, it's ruined, because I'm an idiot." He stood from the bed, making his way to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight into his chest. "Baby, I can't believe I forgot. I was so busy and just focused on one thing, I don't know how I forgot, and I don't know how to make it up to you, how to make this better."

"It's okay Rick, I know it wasn't on purpose. The only reason I left was because I needed time to cool down. I was hurt and upset and I knew that I would start a fight with you."

"I deserve it."

"No, baby, you don't. I know it was an accident. I know you wanted to be there to find out. I was just upset that we didn't get to have that moment together."

"Will you tell me what it is, I tried to look at the sonogram, but it just looked like a baby to me?" he asked cautiously. Trying not to push to much to quickly.

She nodded as a smile claimed her face, "Yeah, it's a boy."

He started to cry immediately as he found himself at a loss for words. Kate ran her thumbs up under his eyes to dry the tears away, placing a kiss over each cheek and then capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss.

When they broke apart he pulled her in tighter for a hug, "I love you and our baby boy."

"I know you do, we love you too."

He pulled away from her and walked over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling something out. He walked back over to her, dropping down to one knee in front of her.

"Kate, this is what I was doing today, I was planning to propose tonight, I was making all of these arrangements. I was so busy trying to make it perfect that I forgot about something more important, and I'm sorry. I love you, with every piece of my being, and I don't want this baby to come into the world to parents who are uncommitted to one another. So this ring…. It symbolized the commitment that I want to make to you, to our baby, to our life together. Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you make me the luckiest man in the world and be my wife?"


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 

"Yes, Yes, Yes." A grin spread across her face as she bent forward trying to reach for his face to kiss him, when she realized it wasn't happening she reached forward to grab his arm and pull him up.

"I want to kiss you but I can't bend down anymore."

He stood up, placing both of his hands on her hips and pulling her body into his, one hand leaving her hip to cup the side of her head as he pulled her into a kiss.

As they separated he grabbed her left hand, pulling it up to his mouth and placing a kiss on her knuckles before taking her ring finger and sliding the platinum band over her finger.

"It's huge."

She couldn't take her eyes off the solitary diamond ring that he had just put on her finger. The diamond was huge and beautiful, nothing she would have picked for herself, or could have imagined he would pick for her. It was extravagant, but tastefully so, and simply stunning.

"I wanted something perfect. I went in shopping for earrings or a necklace, something special to give you, and I saw this, and bought it instead. I've been planning this day for a month now and I got so caught up in it that I forgot today was the ultrasound." He sighed, pulling her into a hug.

"It doesn't matter anymore, I'm sorry I ran, I'm sorry I cant stop doing that. I promise to do better." She took a deep breath, eyeing the ring on her finger again as tears started to fall silently, "We're getting married!" she squealed.

She grabbed his face, pressing her lips to his.

"Kate, you don't have to run anymore. I promise I will always be here for you, for bug, no matter what. I should have been there today, that was my fault, and you had every reason to be angry."

"You just asked me to marry you, I am the happiest girl in the world right now. I don't even want to think about the rest of it."

"I'm forgiven?" 

"Well," she shoved him backwards playfully and he stumbled back, raising a brow at her. "You could always make it up to me."

"Oh, I mean I could you know," he winked.

"I want it rough, and I don't want you to make one comment about the baby during sex for the rest of my pregnancy."

"Kate…"

"Deal or No sex."

"DEAL!"

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on her lips before grabbing her left hand and leading her to the bed where he stripped her naked before ridding himself of his own clothes.

Kate sat on the bed, pulling herself back and towards the middle, creating more space for him to crawl in. He made his way up over her body and she spread her legs wider for him to crawl between. He tried to lean over her body to kiss her as she

wrapped her legs around his thighs, pulling him closer to her body, but her growing stomach made it difficult.

"I don't want to squish the.."

"Rick, stop. If I'm uncomfortable, I'll tell you."

He reached for a pillow at the top of the bed, grabbing it and shoving it under her hips. As soon as she was situated he slid his length through her center, spreading her wet heat over his shaft before thrusting himself in between her folds.

"Ahhhhh" She screamed as he slid in.

"You okay?"

"YES, MOVE, NOW." She yelled, pulling his body down over hers.

He began to slowly pump into her over and over again, hands placed on her hips to hold her down to keep her body from moving too much. It was his way of keeping the baby safe, he didn't like to have wild sex while she was pregnant, but he also knew it was in his best interest to keep her happy and sexually satisfied. The last thing he wanted was her to be uninterested in sex for the next four months

"Harder." She whispered into his ear, pulling his head down into her neck where he ran his tongue from her collarbone up to her ear.

"Kate…"

"HARDER" She screamed, and he couldn't deny her wants, he began to pound into her, drawing louder moans. She tightened her legs around his waist, pulling him closer into her as she tightened her walls around him.

"Oh my God, Kate. If you want me to last, stop."

"We have all night, but I want it now, harder babe, I'm almost…"

He slammed into her a few more times before she bit down on his shoulder, trying to cover her own screams. As soon as he felt her body let go, he was right behind her. He found his own release and then rested his body above hers, propped up on his elbows.

He immediately slid out of her, rolling to his side, and pulling her body into his side.

"I need to call my parents." She said, running her hand down over his chest.

"Whoa, already, I mean your dad, he might come kill me."

"Rick, he didn't kill you when he found out you got me pregnant."

He kissed her forehead, "I wont ruin your excitement, go." He let go of her and she jumped out of bed and ran to the living room to get her phone out of her purse.

Xx

When Kate came back into the room, Rick was under the covers, and she crawled in next to him.

"What did they say?"

"I think my mom is already planning the wedding, and my dad was happy for us. Of course I could hear the fear in his voice, but it will just take time for him to get use to it. I mean I'm his little girl, his only daughter."

"I understand completely, I just want him to like me."

"He will, I promise. By the time he walks me down the aisle you two will be just fine."

"When will that be?"

"I don't know. I'm not in a rush to get married, I mean I would marry you tomorrow but I really don't want to have a big round belly at my wedding, so maybe sometime next year, maybe next summer?"

"Next summer sounds perfect."

"I have always wanted a beach wedding, so maybe the Hamptons. It doesn't have to be big, it can be small and intimate. As long as our families are there and our closest friends."

"We're getting married." He placed a kiss against her temple as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

"Castle, we're having a baby, in four months." She shrieked. "Ahhh, bug will be here so soon. I don't have anything picked out for him. I feel like we should start looking for furniture."

"I was actually beginning to think you didn't want him to leave your womb, you really haven't mentioned getting ready for him at all."

"Honestly, I didn't want to do it too early because I felt like it would just make me anxious and impatient, but now I feel like I have so much to do before he gets here. We have to paint and find furniture, we don't have one article of clothing, a stroller, car seat, oh my gosh I'm already overwhelmed."

"Slow down, how about this. Lets start with furniture and bedding and then we can build the room around that."

"I think we should take Lex shopping with us tomorrow, I think she will love helping decorate her baby brothers room."

"I can't believe I was right, I'm having a son." A smile spread across his face as he drew her body in closer.

"A bouncing baby boy. I'm happy it's a boy."

"Oh don't change your mind now, you wanted a girl."

She shoved at his chest, "I wanted our baby to be healthy and I'm happy it's a boy, I'm sure he will look just like his daddy, big blue eyes, the best smile in the universe."

"No that belongs to you, I could live off your smile."

"Well, whatever, he will be perfect, and he will be ours."

Rick ran his hand down over her swollen bump, resting it over the lower half. He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose and almost as soon as he did he felt the baby kick his hand. He jerked away immediately, "The baby just kicked."

"I felt."

"Is that the first time?"

"Yeah, I mean I have felt him fluttering around in there, but never kicking, never like that."

"You think he knows."

"Knows what?"

"That we are getting married?"

"No, Rick I don't think he knows we are getting married. However, I do think he knows that you make his mommy's heart beat fast when you're near, and that makes us both very happy."

"I love you, ya know."

Her left hand rose from under the blanket as she rolled over on her back, sticking her hand up in front of both their faces to admire her ring, "I think I'm starting to get the hint." She teased before turning back to him and kissing him.

She threw her leg over his waist, positioning herself above him.

"You good?" she asked him and he nodded, "I'd tell you if I were uncomfortable." He winked.

She twisted her hips, and began to slide back forth over his growing erection before lifting up and placing him at her entrance. She slid down over him and set a slow steady pace. His hands found their way to her hips to help her movements.

"Kate, slow this time."

At his request she slowed her pace, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his lips.

**Sorry I haven't updated, it's been a busy week. I'm finishing up school, lots of papers and finals. Also, I decided I'm moving to Vegas in a few weeks. Who knew a weeklong spring break trip would turn into this. **

**I'm a happy, happy girl.**

**Reviews would be nice.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 

Rick was woken up to his fiancé peppering soft kisses over his chest, he cracked his eyes open to grab ahold of her arms, rolling over onto his back, pulling her up over him as he went.

"Hey careful there, I'm not as light as I use to be." She teased, placing a wet kiss on his lips.

"I know that rock on your finger is doing a number on my chest."

They looked down at where her hands were perched over his chest, a smile breaking across both of their faces in unison.

"I don't know when it's gonna set in," she paused, smiling down at her ring and then back up at him.

"That we're engaged?"

"Everything." She rolled back on her back, placing her hand over her stomach, "The baby, you, Lex, it's like everything is happening so fast. I never imagined a year ago when I graduated high school that I would be anywhere near marriage at this point in my life. Now I'm about to have a baby, I have a fiancé, and a stepdaughter. It might not be what I imagined for myself at this point in my life, but you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

He took a moment to think about their quick courtship, everything between the two of them had been so rushed. Before they had even gotten serious about each other he knew that she was special to him. He had given her a second chance that he wouldn't have given anyone else. Then the pregnancy, which was shocking enough on it's own, but they had only been dating for a few months, and now they were half way through it and soon they would have a little boy to add to their family. He was ready for the arrival of his son, and prepared for the changes that had occurred so quickly, but sometimes he wondered if this was all too much for Kate, for someone so young.

"I feel guilty sometimes," he said, taking a deep breath and rolling to over to prop his head up on his palm, elbow bent into the mattress.

"For?"

"Knocking you up, you're 19, you shouldn't have to grow up this fast, it's unfair."

"Unfair? Rick, this isn't your fault."

"I know, it was an accident, but we should have been more careful."

She sat up in the bed, pressing her back against the headboard and staring away from him.

"Can we not talk about this."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, I know what you mean, but I don't ever want either of us to think of this baby as an accident. This was meant to happen to us, and yeah at times it's been challenging for me to accept. I am going to have to grow up faster than any of my friends, but I wouldn't change it. So what if I don't get to live out my early twenties in a club somewhere. I'll get to crawl in bed with my husband every night, and eat breakfast with our kids every morning. This is where I'm suppose to be."

"What about your dreams? You wanted to model before this all happened, you were in law school. I feel like I just ripped you out of your life."

"Babe, I'm nineteen, this is just the beginning of my life, and i'm not giving up on my dreams, I'm just taking a different path to get to them. Maybe I'll get back into shape and have an even better modeling career than I could have imagined, or maybe I'll go back to school and finish my law degree and be your sexy lawyer wife."

"Oooohhh, that does sound sexy."

"What?" she laughed, "me in business attire."

"I was actually thinking about all the hot sex we could have on your desk."

"Castle….." she slapped his arm.

"Sorry." He smirked over at her, rubbing the spot that she had just hit.

"Regardless I'm happy, and we're happy, right?"

"I know I'm happy." He sat up, leaning over to give her a peck on the lips, "but I'm also very hungry."

"Okay, I'll get up and make us some breakfast."

"No, you stay, I'll make it. I have some sucking up to do anyway, after yesterday."

"If you really want to suck up you could take me shopping, we could buy something for the baby." She yelled at him as he exited their bedroom.

XX

After breakfast, and a long shower together they decided to go shopping for baby furniture. Now that they knew the sex it was easier for Kate to feel excited about preparing for the baby. Rick hadn't stopped talking about a certain store that he wanted to take her to all morning. He had found it online while secretly browsing baby sites. He insisted that the furniture there was perfect for them. Kate had given Rick a hard time about taking her to such as fancy place, but as soon as she walked in it all made sense. Everything in the store was beautiful. She left Castle's side as soon as she walked into the store to look on her own.

The sales woman immediately approached Kate, asking if she needed any help and Kate kindly declined, she wanted to browse alone.

It took a while before Kate noticed she hadn't seen Rick in a while so she went to look around for him. She saw him by the cribs, the same saleswoman standing next to him. She watched from a distance as the woman giggled and flirted with him, pointing out different cribs.

After a while she got annoyed and approached the two.

"Kate, hey babe, have you looked at any of the cribs, see anything you like?"

"I haven't, you see anything you like?" she said widening her eyes at him.

He didn't catch her attitude or her agitation. "Well you said you wanted the room to be grey right? So I feel like we should either go with white furniture, or black." He pointed in the direction of one of the black cribs along the wall. "The black is my favorite."

"Either is fine."

"You don't want to look at them? Or do you have something else in mind."

"No, I just, I'm a little overwhelmed by all of it right now. I think I want to come another time maybe and look."

He caught on that something was off but couldn't sense anything specific being wrong. She had been so excited when they got there, what had changed? Was she really that overwhelmed by baby furniture and if so, why?

As they exited the store, Rick took ahold of her hand, pulling her to the side and stopping.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just pregnancy hormones."

"You sure? You were so excited when we got here."

"Well that's before that bitch started blatantly flirting with you." She rolled her eyes, grabbing for his hand to start walking.

He pulled away from her as she tried to grab him. "Kate, she wasn't flirting, she was just trying to help."

"Oh, hahaha," she shoved his chest, "Rick, you're so funny and charming. Are you here with your wife?" She mocked the saleswoman.

"She didn't do that, or say that. She knew we were there together, shopping for our baby."

"Yeah well she seemed a little too flirtatious to me, which is disrespectful. You work in a store that women frequent with their significant other and you're flirting with my boyfriend right in front of me."

"Fiancé," he said as he grabbed her hand and headed back to the store, entering and walking past the saleswoman back towards the cribs.

"Rick, stop, I want to go home."

"No, we came to pick out furniture and you didn't even look at the furniture. So we are going to do this again, together, and you're going to stop being insecure about some random woman whose name I don't even know.

She rolled her eyes at him as a smile broke across her face. He was right, they were there to celebrate, to buy their baby something and she was being selfish and insecure. She knew Rick wasn't interested in the woman even if she was flirting with him.

"Black" she whispered

"What?"

"I like the black furniture." She said a little bit louder.

He grabbed her waist, pulling her to him and giving her a sloppy kiss.

"Was that so hard?" he teased.

"I hate you."

"I'm pretty sure you love me." He said, receiving another eye roll from her.

"I do, very much."

"So the black it is?"

She walked over to it, running her hand across the frame of the bed, imagining her son lying in the middle of the mattress.

"I love it."

She looked down at the price tag attached to the side of it.

"Oh, no, no, no. There is no way we are paying that much for a crib."

"Kate, don't worry about the price tag."

"Don't worry about the price tag? You're crazy if you think I am buying this."

"You aren't, I am." He said, walking over and pulling her hand into his.

"Uhhhhh, no…. you're not. We're not. I don't even like it that much."

"You just said you loved it." he shot back.

"I lied, it's not that spec…"

"Kate, we're getting the crib, and the rest of the matching furniture, so stop."

She shut her mouth, and looked down at their intertwined fingers, her shiny new diamond ring there as a reminder that this was half his decision, and if he wanted to spend a boat load of money on it then who was she to tell him he couldn't. especially since she loved it.

"Okay, but can you pay for it while I stand outside so I don't have to see how much it cost? I might have a heart attack."

That drew a laugh from him, and he leaned in to give her a kiss.

"Here's some money," he placed a twenty in her hand, "Go get us some ice cream next door, I'll pay and then meet you there."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for ice cream Kate."

"Not just the ice cream, for everything. You're so patient with me and you call me on my bullshit. I love you Richard Castle, I cant wait to be your wife." She gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

"I love you too, baby. Now, go, before I have her start throwing in all kinds of unnecessary expensive shit just to piss you off."

"You wouldn't." She squinted her eyes and glared at him. 

"Oh, you know I would." He teased back, tearing his hand away and shoving her towards the door.

Xx

They walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand, both licking away at their ice cream cones. Kate had been craving mint chocolate chip all week and when she finally got the chance to get it she ordered chocolate almond, but made sure to get mint chocolate chip fro Rick so she could have some.

"The furniture will be delivered next week, so I was thinking we should hire someone to come in and paint the room before it gets brought in, so they can just set it up and we wont have to stress about it. Which room were you wanting to put him in? The one across from Alexis' or the one at the end of the hall?"

"I don't know, I think I'd feel better if he were across from Lex's room. Speaking of Alexis, her birthday is next week, what are we doing for it, and what are we getting her, or have you already got her gift?"

"I haven't bought it, I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Lex wants a puppy, which I've been promising her she could get for her fifth birthday since she was 3. Now the only issue is that we are about to have a new baby in the house and I don't want to overwhelm you so if you're against it then we can find something else to make up for the puppy."

"If you promised her a puppy you have to get her a puppy."

"I don't have to, not if you don't want a dog in the house with a new baby, I'm sure she will understand."

"Rick, dogs are around babies all the time, and if we get him now we will have time to house train it before the baby gets here."

"So you aren't against the puppy idea."

"No, plus I think Lex could use a pup. I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't know how she is going to deal with a baby in the house either. I mean she is excited now, but what happens when the baby is actually here and is demanding a lot of our time. What if she starts to resent the baby, or doesn't like him."

She paused on the sidewalk, looking around franticly and throwing her ice cream in a nearby trashcan.

"You done already?"

"I just feel a little nauseous." She ran her hand around the back of her neck, stretching her neck to one side and then the other.

"Kate, Alexis is going to be fine."

"I know, I know, it just gives me a little bit of anxiety, I don't want her to feel neglected or hate me and the baby."

He pulled her into his body with his free arm. Her head resting on his shoulder and her arms lie around his waist.

"I really wish you would stop worrying so much. Children get siblings everyday. Yes, she is going to have to adjust, we all are, but she will be absolutely fine."

"Promise."

"Yes, I promise. Now lets go home and I'll tell mother to bring her home. I can sense that someone might need a little bit of one on one time with Lex tonight."

She squeezed his body tight against her own, "Maybe we should wait a while before you call your mom, I could use some one on one time with her daddy first, but I might need Lex to sleep with us tonight. I do need some cuddle time with her."

"You're gonna be a great mom, to both of our kids."

Kate drew her body away from his, "You think Lex looks at me like a parent?"

"Have you seen the way she is around you. She prefers you over me at all times, even bedtime, and I'm terrific at bedtime stories. Since you've been in her life it's been much easier for her to accept her mother not being around. You've stepped up in ways that no one else has even attempted. That's why I love you, and that's why I know that you are going to be an amazing mother."

She took his free hand as they started down the sidewalk towards the loft.

"Hey baby." She said, suspiciously eyeing him from the side.

"Yes, you can have it." he said as he pushed his ice cream cone in her direction.

"You really are the best."

**Thanks for reading, I'll try to update again soon. **


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Kate heard the giggles from the hallway before the front door swung open, she stood from the couch, making her to the door to great them as they came in.

"Kate!" the little girl shouted as she ran towards her.

Kate bent down placing her hands under the girls arms and lifting her to her hip gently.

"You really shouldn't be holding her, she's getting too big."

Kate held her hand up towards Rick and without saying a word he shut his mouth and watched as his two girls walked towards the kitchen.

"Daddy doesn't like for you to hold me, Kate." Alexis whispered into Kates ear.

"Yeah, well he isn't the boss of me, and I love holding you and squeezing you," Kate said, giving the girl a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.

"YEAH, DADDY DOESN'T LIKE IT!" Rick said sarcastically, following behind the two.

"Oh shove it, I missed my baby girl. You have fun with gram?"

Kate sat the little girl on the counter next to the microwave, walking towards the oven to check on dinner.

"I had fun, but I really wanted to be with you and my daddy," The little girl said, hanging her head a little bit, "I miss you guys when you make me go to grams."

"Oh Lex, you know you can call any time and we will come get you."

"I know," She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Well why didn't you call then?" Rick chimed in from across the kitchen.

"Gram said you all were doing something important and that you needed to be alone."

A smile broke across Kate's face as she walked towards the little girl sitting cross-legged on the counter.

"Well your gram was telling the truth, we were doing something important." Kate lifted her hand up to the little girls lap.

"See that ring, it's from your daddy."

Alexis ran her hand over Kate's hand, stopping at the ring and tracing a finger over the diamonds.

"It's very pretty."

"I know, I love it too. You wanna know why it's so special and important?"

Kate looked towards Rick, and he gave her a reassuring nod.

"Yeah."

"It means your daddy and I are gonna get married."

The little girls bright blue eyes shot up to meet Kate's watery eyes.

"Why are you crying Kate? You don't want to marry my daddy?" The little girl said, the worry starting to show on her face.

Kate and Rick both laughed at the same time, Rick making his way closer to the both of them.

"Kate is crying because she is happy," he said as he took her other hand and squeezed it tight, "Right, babe."

Kate wiped the tears from her face and nodded, "Right. I am very happy Lex."

"Does this mean you're gonna be my mom?"

"Well, not your mom, but I'll be your step-mom."

"What does that mean?"

"That means," Kate took a deep breath, "It means that I will always be here for you when you need me, and that I will protect you and take care of you, just like I'm going to do for bug."

"You'll be bugs mom?" The little girl pressed her hand against Kate's stomach. She had recently become very attached to Kate's bump, touching it, or laying her hand over it whenever she got a chance.

"Yeah, I'm bugs mom, and your daddy is also bugs daddy."

"So we have the same dad?"

"Yeah you have the same dad." Kate let out a chuckle. Explaining things to a four, almost five year old was a little hard sometimes.

The little girls eyes began to fill with water, but she put on a brave face, trying not to let her lip tremble as she took in a deep breath. 

"Why are you sad Lex? Is it okay that you have the same dad?"

"We get to share a dad, but we don't get to share you too?"

"Hey silly," She tickled her stomach, placing a kiss on her cheek, "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm still gonna love on you and kiss on you just like I do now. Bug isn't going to change that. I love you and your daddy and your baby brother." Kate ran her hand over her stomach. 

"My brother?"

"That's the other surprise, bug is a boy."

"I'm gonna have a baby brother, like Lauren?"

"Yup." Rick said, sweeping in and grabbing the girl from the counter.

"What's his name?"

Rick carried her over to the table, placing her in her chair and taking a seat beside her.

"We haven't talked about that yet actually." He answered, looking over at Kate as she pulled dinner from the oven, making her way to the table.

"I think his name should be Elmo."

"Elmo?" Kate shrieked, taking a seat next to Alexis and placing her napkin over her lap. "I think we can do better than Elmo, Lex."

"What do you want to name him?" The little girl asked.

"I really haven't thought about too much." Kate answered.

"Well, I have a list already." Rick jumped in, pulling out his wallet and removing what looked like a credit card receipt with a list of names on the back.

"Let me see that." Kate ripped it from his hands and started reading the list. "Oh, I like these babe, I really like Chandler, and Carter. Ooooh Callum. Wait, why are all these "C" names."

"No specific reason, I just like the C names. They are just suggestions, maybe even middle names."

"Why haven't you shown me this?"

"We haven't talked about names really, until right now, and I'm showing you."

"Okay," She shoved the piece of paper back in his direction, "well if you add any more let me know."

"You don't have any picked out? None?"

"I figured we would look through books together, maybe look online."

"We can do that." He reached over grabbing her hand and pulling it up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

"I know," She started to pick at the food on her plate, "Actually, I think I need to go to the bathroom." She stood, walking towards the bathroom.

When she made her way into their bathroom, she stood in front of the mirror, taking a few deep breaths and rubbing her hand over her swollen stomach. She was getting bigger every day, and she loved it. Feeling her son moving around, tucked safely away for the next few months. Part of her just wanted to meet him now, to hold him, and kiss him. The other half of her was terrified, that she was going to mess this up somehow. That she wouldn't be enough, or that she wouldn't know what to do. She was so thankful for Castle, if she didn't have him she would be completely lost.

After using the restroom she made her way back out to the table, kissing him on the cheek before taking her seat.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Just because."

"Well, thank you."

Her eyes met his and a blush immediately formed over her cheeks.

"No, babe, thank you." She said, and he knew that there was more meaning to her words than just a simple thank you. He would have to ask her about that later, but this wasn't the time or place or she would have said it then.

After dinner, and tucking Alexis into bed, Castle made his way back down to their room. He walked in to Kate sprawled across the middle of the bed, book open and resting on her bump.

"Hey, so what was that about earlier?" he asked.

She closed the book and dropped it onto the mattress next to her.

"I just love you, and I'm thankful for you and everything you do for me, for us."

"Not that I'm complaining, but where is all this coming from?"

He began to take his clothes off, pulling a pair of pajama pants from a drawer.

"Leave those off." She said seductively, "You aren't gonna need them, and it's not coming from anywhere, I just don't feel like I tell you enough how wonderful you are."

"You're pretty wonderful too, babe."

"Thank you." She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head, patting the mattress next to her. "Come sit, the baby is being crazy right now."

"Thata boy, every night before bed."

Rick crawled in from the bottom of the bed, making his way up to her stomach and placing a kiss over her belly button, his hand resting on the top of her bump.

"Oh he really is busy in there."

"Yeah, he has been this way all day. This afternoon he was kicking so hard it really almost took my breath away, I had to lie down for a little bit so he would calm down."

"Did it work?"

"A little, but now he is back at it."

"Is it painful?"

"No, not painful, uncomfortable maybe, but not painful. It's just a really bizarre feeling."

"I can only imagine, I mean there is a human being in there, that is just wild to me. I helped make a baby that is now growing inside of you."

"You did help make him, didn't you?" She teased, playing with his hair.

"I did." He nodded excitedly, crawling up over her to press his mouth against hers.

She moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in closer, opening her mouth to him, allowing him deeper access.

He pulled back off of her, rolling to his back.

"Kate, I don't want you to get mad at me, but I cant do it like this anymore. It's uncomfortable for me, all I think about is the baby, and us putting to much pressure on your stomach."

She laughed, and rolled to her side, looking away from him. Reaching back and grabbing his body, pulling him towards her.

"Okay, well it's probably time for us to change things up then. I read online that spooning is the easiest way to have sex while you're pregnant, and it will still allow us to be close, without any pressure on the baby."

"You read online. So you've been looking up sex positions when you ask to borrow my laptop" he laughed, moving in closer to her and wrapping his arm over her stomach.

He started to kiss up her back, over her shoulder, up her neck and behind her ear, where she liked it most.

"Well sex has been weird for me lately, I mean it's not your fault or mine, it's just happening really fast, the baby is growing and we can't really be as adventurous as we were before."

"Kate, why haven't you said anything before now. If you weren't enjoying yourself then what's the point."

"I know you have needs too, and just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can neglect those needs."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he lifted his head, taking a break from the kissing and touching. "Since when are my needs more important than yours. I was under the impression that our sex life was fine, that we were okay, and I thought you were satisfied. I didn't know you were just letting me get my rocks off."

"Rick, stop. It's not like that at all. Our sex life is fine, forget I said anything, I didn't mean it like that anyway."

"What did you mean?"

"I, I just want it to feel like it did before, you know passionate, and special. Now I just feel big and uncomfortable. It's not your fault, if it's anyones it's my own, I should have told you before but I just wanted to try and stick it out, I thought it was just a phase."

"Okay, so what do we need to do to fix it, what can I do to help."

"Well, you could start by laying back down and doing that thing with your tongue, on my neck, that was definitely working."

He leaned back down tracing his tongue up her neck and behind her ear, "Like this."

It sent chills over her body and she pressed hips back into his groin, "Yeah, just like that."

Rick pulled at his own boxers first, kicking them off the end of the bed and then stripping Kate of her underwear as well.

"Don't touch the bra, my boobs hurt really bad."

"How romantic." He teased, receiving an elbow to his stomach.

He laughed it off, continuing to kiss her neck, wrapping his arm around the lower half of her body, his hand making its way between her legs, fingers pressing into her center.

"Oh, the neck thing is working." He said as he ran his fingers through her folds, spreading them and sliding two fingers inside.

"uuuuuuhhhhhhhh." She moaned, a little uncomfortably.

"You okay?"

She nodded, moving her legs to make herself more comfortable and allowing him better access. He slid his fingers in and out of her, running his thumb in circles over her swollen nub.

"Rick" She reached back, grabbing his shaft and pumping her hand over him.

He removed his fingers from her middle, and took himself in his hand, running her juices over his shaft.

'Lean forward a little, babe." He asked and she did, as he pulled her hips back towards himself. She raised her knees up a little, pulling them towards her stomach and he slid in behind her, running his hand over her bare ass before finding her wet lips again and pressing his erection into her. As soon as they connected her moans were loud.

"Rick, go, it feels….. sooo good."

He began to slowly slide in and out of her, wrapping his hand back over her, so his fingers could work on her from the front.

"You sure, everything's okay?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you if it's uncomfortable."

"You said that before and you didn't. Kate, you don't have to be embarrassed or lie just so I don't get embarrassed. We are getting married, and having a baby together, we have to be able to talk to each other about these things."

"I'm talking now, and if you don't shut up and get to moving I'm going to go do it myself."

He got the hint and started moving again, making sure to listen to every moan to know that she was enjoying herself. After a few minutes he got more comfortable, less tense, and as his need built he started to slam into her from the back.

Kate turned her neck back so her mouth could meet his, and their kisses were sloppy but neither of them minded.

"Baby, I'm almost there, you almost there Kate?"

"No, I need," she paused "here, let me get on top, but I need you to sit up to help support me."

"Okay." He pulled himself out of her, sitting up right in the bed as she crawled over him, straddling his lap. She pulled a pillow from the side and put it behind his back, shoving him back into it.

"Just lay back a little and relax." She lifted her body up, placing him at her entrance and sinking back down.

As she sank down over him, her orgasm hit, causing her walls to flutter and pulsate around him. "AHHHHHHH" she screamed as her eyes slammed shut.

"Did you just.."

Her hand came up to cover his mouth, "shhhh."

After her body calmed, she removed her hand and began to move her hips over his.

"You're not done, then?"

"Not even close." She threw her arms over his shoulders and went for his mouth, she loved kissing him during sex, hearing and feeling him moan into her mouth.

"Hey babe, when you're almost there again let me know."

"No, Rick it's your turn, you get there."

"We can do it together."

"Well then hurry up, because I'm almost there again."

He began to thrust his hips up in to hers, and within a minute they were both there, screaming each others name.

**I know, I know, I've been bad about updating, but I'm moving in a little over a week and I have so much to get done. I had free time this morning so I finished this chapter up and I'll try to have another up tomorrow.**

**Thanks for the patience. Hope everyone is still enjoying the story. **


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38 – 20 Weeks

Kate walked in to the kitchen to Rick dancing around with Alexis while simultaneously flipping pancakes.

"Good morning you two, and Happy Birthday booger face." She said as she walked around the counter, catching the little girls attention first, who ran over to her, reaching her arms out to Kate.

Kate picked the little girl up and sat her on the counter.

"I cant hold you today Lex, my back hurts a little, but you can sit up here to give me a hug and kiss."

The little girl puckered her lips up and Kate moved in and stole a kiss from her.

"Morning Kate."

"Good morning baby, what are you and your dad up to?"

"Making breakfast. I wanted birthday pancakes, but he is also making eggs for you."

"I'll actually take both if you're making them, babe." She swatted at his butt and he leaned over giving her a deep kiss. As he broke contact, he hovered in front of her face for a second, eyes still shut. "God I love you." he said as he turned back to the stove.

"Oh really?" She said, turning and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Yeah, really." He turned in her arms giving her another kiss. "Especially in the morning, when you have the whole pregnancy glow going on and you're rested and happy."

"Pregnancy glow? I'm wearing an old tshirt of yours and granny panties."

"What are granny panties?" Alexis asked from the counter next to them.

"Nothing."

"Kate's underwear."

They answered simultaneously, receiving a confused look from the little girl.

"You two are weird." She said as she hopped off the counter, prancing towards the living room.

"You have her gift right Rick?" Kate whispered as she walked to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"Of course I have it. Her party is today, Kate. Mother is picking him up on her way over later for her party and we will hide him in our room until we give him to her."

"Don't get an attitude with me, I wasn't insinuating you forgot. I was just asking so that you would fill me in. You've kind of left me in the dark about all of it."

"Hey," he grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards him, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be snappy." He kissed her and she pulled away.

"You know better than to mess with a pregnant woman's emotions."

"I said I was sorry, and I am."

"I'm talking about that kiss. Don't kiss me like that unless you plan on doing something about it." She raised an eyebrow at him. He knew better than to tease her at this point in her pregnancy.

"I will do something about it, just not right this minute."

"I mean Lex is watching cartoons, I think you should make her a plate and then maybe meet me in our room."

"What?" his eyes shot over to her. "You serious? Right now?"

She walked closer to him, grabbing the waistband of his pants and pulling him into her and in a low, sultry voice, "I… am…. really…..really… horny."

He shoved his hands down over her butt, squeezing both sides of her cheeks tightly and shoving her hips into his own as he kissed her.

She pulled away quickly as things started to get out of hand, "Rick, I'm gonna go, before it happens right here." She stalked off towards the bedroom.

He threw a few pancakes on a plate and took them over to Alexis and sat them on the coffee table before running into his bedroom.

"Okay we have to be quick." He said as he came flying towards the bed. Kate was already undressed and laying under the covers.

He tore his pants off and jumped in under the covers, pulling Kate up over him.

"Slow down, I'm horny but gosh."

"Shut up and kiss me." He said as he drug her mouth to his.

She let out a laugh as she bit his bottom lip.

"Doggy style? It will be the quickest way for both of us." She said.

"Oh yeah Kate, because that's romantic."

Kate moved off of his lap and started to move to her knees.

"I don't need romantic, I need it now, and fast. Your daughter is in the next room."

Almost as soon as she finished her sentence a little knock came from their door.

"DADDY I SPILLED MY PANCAKES ON THE FLOOR!"

"Are you serious right now." He whispered to Kate.

"Hey, don't worry, we can sneak away later. Go." She shoved at his side, forcing him off the bed.

Rick threw his pants on while Kate pulled the blanket up over herself. Leaning in to give her a kiss before rushing towards the door. He opened the door and there Alexis stood, syrup down the front of her pajamas and all over her face.

"Did you go swimming on your plate, gosh kid." He said dragging his hand over the top of her hair and down her braids.

She stared down at her feet, trying not to make eye contact with her dad. "I wasn't paying attention, and I knocked it off the table onto myself."

"No worries, accidents happen pumpkin."

She looked up at him and have him a toothy smile and then took his hand and they walked back into the living room to clean up her mess.

Kate jumped out of the bed, running over and shutting the door behind the two of them and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. They had missed their chance for a quickie so she would have to wait until after the party.

She showered, dried and curled her hair in record time for her. Since she had been pregnant it took her forever to get ready so she hardly did it, but today had been a breeze. She felt lighter today, happier than she had in a while. Maybe everything was settling in, she was getting use to her life now. She had been so scared over the last few months, worrying constantly about her future. She knew that Castle would always be there to help but it still terrified her to think about being responsible for another persons life. Today, things felt different though, she didn't feel scared about having this baby and being a parent, or scared about her relationship falling apart once the baby came.

She was finishing up her make up when Rick appeared in the doorway leaning against the frame.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks, baby." She said, laying her mascara down and walking towards him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close. "You need a shower."

"Oh gee, thanks." He said, leaning in and peppering her face with kisses.

"Just being honest." She teased, grabbing his jaw and pulling it down so she could press her lips against his.

"I need you to take Lex down to the corner store to get ice cream for the party. Mother is in the garage waiting to bring the dog up and I don't want Lex to see."

"Okay, you got it. What kind of ice cream?"

"Whatever you all want. Doesn't matter, get every kind."

Xx

When Kate and Alexis returned from the store they put the ice cream away and went upstairs to get Alexis ready for her party.

Alexis had a beautiful yellow sundress picked out for her party. Kate put her hair in matching french braids and tied white ribbons to the end of each braid.

They went back down to the kitchen, Kate needed to get the snacks ready for the party and Alexis had offered to help.

"Are you excited for your party?"

"Yeah, and I cant wait to see all my friends from school. I miss them."

They made their way to the pantry and Kate pulled out all the snack foods, and then pulled the fruit tray from the fridge and laying it on the counter.

"Well you'll be starting kindergarten in a few months and you'll get to see most of them every day at Marlowe."

"Kindergarten means I'll be there all day, right?"

"Yeah that's right baby girl."

"Well, who is going to watch my brother while I'm gone to school."

Kate let out a loud laugh, "I'll be at home with him every day, at least for a while, and then maybe daddy and I will take turns watching him."

"Isn't that my job? To watch my baby brother?"

"Well, you can definitely help watch him but you won't be alone, daddy and I will always be there to help.""

"My daddy watched me when I was a baby. My mommy," the little girl paused. Looking up at Kate. "Kate can I tell you something?"

"Well of course. You can tell me anything."

"My mommy scares me."

"Scares you?"

"When she comes to see me. She wants to hug me and kiss me and I don't want her to do that. I only like when you and my daddy and gram do that."

"Well she is your mommy, she just wants to show you how much she loves you, and adores you."

"I hope she isn't here today."

Kate hadn't thought about Meredith showing up, nor had Rick mentioned anything about the woman.

"Does she usually come to your birthday?"

"She came when I turned four, but I don't remember when I turned 3."

"Well if she does come you should be nice to her, but if you don't want her to hug and kiss on you, just ask her not to."

"Then she will cry, she always cries."

They finished laying the snacks out and Alexis made her way to her room to play before everyone showed up.

Kate entered the master bathroom to find Rick standing there dressed in a pair of fitted blue jeans and a black v-neck shirt. She made her way to stand beside him, staring at him in the mirror.

"What? Is something wrong, should I wear a different shirt?"

"Oh, no, no, no. You look," she took a second, looking him up and down and pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"That good, eh?"

"So sexy. My baby daddy is so, so sexy."

"Fiancé"

"Yeah, that too." She teased, lifting up and giving him a peck on the cheek.

"How is my son doing today?"

"He's fine," her hand doing a protective sweep across her stomach. "Your girlfriend is a little worried though?"

"Fiancé"

"Yeah, that. Is Meredith coming?"

"I invited her but she never responded, why?'

"Alexis was talking about her and I just got to thinking. Didn't know if you had invited her or if she…you know, might call to wish her a Happy Birthday at least."

"Oh I wouldn't count on it."

"Does she not carry out any parental responsibilities?"

"Kate, we have been together for what? 7 months now, have you ever seen her call one time, or visit one time?"

"Well… No."

"Exactly, she isn't what I would call a present parent."

"I guess I just don't understand how she could totally neglect her child. My child isn't even here yet and I worry about him all the time."

"That's because you're a good mom." He placed his hand in the small of her back, applying a little pressure while he pulled her in tightly to his side.

"Well, thank you, but I'm not a mom yet."

"Yes you are. Bug might not be here yet but you are still his mom, and you're more of a mom to Alexis than she has ever had."

She gave his side a pinch and nuzzled her head into his chest. "You're sweet."

"I'm being honest. You're taking on a lot right now and you're doing pretty darn good if you ask me."

"Well, I couldn't survive if I didn't have you here to help me through this. You have been there to guide me through everything. I know I have driven you crazy over the last few months but you're always so patient and understanding and I don't deserve the kindness you show me sometimes."

"Well, that's what happens when you become a parent Kate. The well being of your children takes over your own well-being. Same with becoming a husband, my job is to protect my family and to do everything I can to make sure that they are happy and healthy."

"Well you're doing a great job, babe."

"Thank you."

She wrapped her arms tighter around him, pressing her nose into his chest and inhaling his scent.

"What are you doing, Kate?"

"Sniffing you."

"uh, yeah I can tell, why are you sniffing me?"

"I don't know, I just love you and…." She stopped, squeezing him tighter. 

"I love you to babe, lets go out here and get the party started. Pretty soon our home will be swarmed with 4 & 5 year olds."

"Practice."

"Oh, do you plan on having a house full of kids, Kate Beckett?"

"Once I become a Castle, I can't promise that I wont want a house full of Castle babies."

"I'm gonna have to get out a few more best sellers to afford this aren't I?"

"They can wear hand me downs."

"College, Kate, I'm gonna have to send," he paused. "How many kids are we talking?"

"Rick, calm down, lets get this one out first and then we will talk about how many more I'm willing to pop out."

"I say one more, that's all, three kids is already a lot."

The doorbell rang and they could hear Alexis yelling for them

"Castle! Stop worrying about something that is years down the road. Let's go welcome everyone."

They opened the door to find two of Alexis pre school classmates and their mothers.

"Hi guys, come on in." Kate said, welcoming the girls and their mothers.

"Hi, I'm Stephanie, and this is Megan. Noelle is mine and Anna is hers."

"Hi." Kate extended her hand, "Kate Beckett, I'm the step mom."

"You look too young to be a mom." Stephanie said.

"Well clearly not too young," Kate said petting her stomach. A nervous smile spreading across her face.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it. Sorry that came out rude, I just meant you look very young and pretty. I wish I still looked as good as you. Kids ruined my body."

"Oh you're fine, I wasn't offended, I've heard worse from the tabloids about myself."

"Really, I am so sorry."

"Like I said it's fine. "

Rick approached the women, running his hand around Kate's waist to rest on the small of her back.

"This is Rick, Alexis' father."

Rick extended his hand, "Hi, Rick Castle."

"Oh no introduction necessary, we are quite aware of who you are." Stephanie said, standing up straighter and sticking out her chest.

Kate made a mental note not to trust any of these young moms around her fiancé.

"Hey babe, I am gonna go check on the pup upstairs, you got this for a minute?" She whispered, he kissed her temple and shooed her up the stairs.

She went into the spare bedroom at the end of the hall, opened the bathroom door and there lay the little golden retriever puppy.

"Oh my gosh you are so cute."

Kate picked the small puppy up off the ground, cuddling it into her chest.

"Lex is going to love you, little pup."

He licked her neck and Kate let out a giggle. He was surprisingly calm and loving. She lay the pup back on the ground and made her way back to the party.

The moms had all congregated together, away from Rick thankfully. He stood in the kitchen getting the table ready for the kids. Placing the cake in the middle and putting 5 candles in it.

"Hey babe, everything good?"

"Yeah, round up the kids and bring them in here. We can go ahead and do cake and ice cream and then presents."

"Hey boys and girls, lets make our way to the table so we can have some cake and ice cream."

The kids all shrieked with excitement and started running to the table, fighting over seats. Some wanted to sit next to Alexis, others wanted to sit by each other. Once they were all settled, Castle lit the candles on the cake and they all sang happy birthday.

"Make a wish Lex." Kate said as she made eye contact with the little girl.

She closed her eyes really tight and blew out her candles.

Once the cake and ice cream were done they all made their way to the living room, Alexis opened her presents, the kids all played for a while and then the party was over and everyone was clearing out pretty quickly. Mothers were noticing their kids were on overload so they cleared them out quicker than expected.

Alexis lay on her back on the floor in front of the couch.

"Hey kid, you tired already?" Rick asked, walking over and sitting on the couch next to where she lay.

"So much cake, so much ice cream, dad."

"Are you in a sugar-coma?"

"Yes."

"Got enough energy for one more gift?"

She sat up immediately, "Gift, where?"

As soon as Alexis stood up to grab her dads hand she saw Kate walking down the stairs, with a tiny puppy wrapped in her arms. 

"Daddy… Is that a puppy?"

"Yeah baby, it is."

She flung her arms around his neck, and the tears started to fall. He had never seen Alexis so excited about any gift he had given her before. She broke away and ran towards Kate, reaching for the puppy immediately. Kate handed the small puppy over and Alexis peppered kisses all over its face.

"I love it daddy."

"What do you want to name him."

"Him? It's a boy?"

Rick nodded, with a smile on his face.

"I want to name him Elmo."

"What is it with the name Elmo?" Kate said from behind the two of them.

"Elmo sounds great kiddo." Rick said, patting her head.

Alexis ran off up the stairs with her puppy, she said she wanted to play with him in her room.

Rick and Kate sat on the couch, cuddled up after their long day. Rick ran circles over the small of her back, massaging the place she had been complaining about all day.

"Well we have one very happy five year old."

"Yes we do, I think the puppy is great for her, teach her some responsibility before the baby gets here."

"Yeah, I think she is going to be a good mom, just like you."

Kate ran her hand down over Ricks chest and stomach. As her hand went further south she could hear his deep panting breaths.

"Kate, not yet."

"I really want to though."

"Let me tuck her in first, then we can do anything you want?"

"Oh, anything?"

"I'll be to bed in less than 20." He said as he got up and ran up the stairs.

When he came down the stairs less than 20 minutes later, Kate was sprawled across the couch asleep. Instead of waking her to walk to bed he picked her up and carried her. Tucking her in on her side and crawling in behind her.

**This one was a long one. **

**Enjoy.**

**Review :)**


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